To be upset with partner over no engagement?

[bluenewyear23]

My partner and I have discussed marriage a lot over the years as something we both want to do - even down to details about the ceremony size etc. We’ve been more ‘seriously’ talking about it for last year and a half and he wants to do it in his own way - but soon. This still hasn’t happened 1.5 years on and I’m quite upset about it.
I’m now 3 months pregnant and we’ve just had our second fight about it. First fight was not long after finding out I’m pregnant - he suddenly said he doesn’t really want to get married and it’s not important to him. He has said ‘he will if I insist’ but in his own time/when he feels ready.

Obviously I’m not sure if I want to marry someone who doesn’t actually want to marry me for the right reasons. We’ve now fallen out I assume - as he’s taken the joint car, disappeared and turned his phone off.

I can’t help but feel a bit strung along, the timing of telling me he doesn’t want to get married once I’ve already gotten pregnant seems odd since we’ve spoken so much before about it.

Am I being unreasonable being so upset? Should I just wait and see if he does at some point in the future? Am I expecting too much?

The advantage of being so hire us your child gets your name so on legal matters there is zero issue ( bank accounts, holidays abroad etc)

I have a different surname to my child. Zero issue on legal matters- on bank accounts, holidays abroad etc.

Having the same surname as your child is something most people seem to like. It doesn’t actually make any difference legally. You can have PR, open bank accounts, take the child on holiday, whether you have the same surname or not it’s exactly the same.

@ saleorbouy
yes it is absolutely all about HIM isn't it?

They can’t be bothered with the paperwork and effort to get parental rights. Shows how much it means to them doesn’t it?

The problem is, you really don't want him to propose now.
He'll probably be doing it just to keep you and you now know you'd be worse off

@QueenofDestruction

You want to marry to be a team that raises your child. You maybe tge higher earner now but that can change through illness, circumstance etc. Parents that are married have the benefit of each others income, pension etc.. which ensure a more secure environment for the child .

Which is lovely when you have a reliable partner you can trust.

Doesn't seem to be the case here though, does it?

How are you getting on OP? I just read your thread and came on to say that it's good you kept up your professional registration. Whatever else you do I think focussing on ramping up your career is your best move.