Being obese affects your friendships

[Shockedmama]

Interested to see if this is true for others?
Does being obese affect friendships? Is less sociable, thinking people don’t want to be friends with you, seen with you?
Less physically able?

Interested to hear from people who are not obese too ?

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

Obese is a wide category. I'm 4 stone over my ideal weight but a size 16 and very fit and mobile. I guess what you mean is morbidly obese to the point where it affects mobility?

Me too! Fittest I’ve ever been (running) but also heaviest. 😬

Two of our closest friends (a couple) are obese and it does very slightly affect things because they don't/can't do physical activities we consider normal, for instance they won't travel by public transport because it always involves too much walking either side, they will only go to places that you can park outside the door. I'm not sure if that's because they're obese or whether it's just how they are (and probably a cause of the obesity), though. I think there's also some embarrassment about how slowly they walk. Other than that, which isn't that hard to work around, though, I can't think of any other impact. The woman of the couple is an extremely fussy eater - eats no vegetables, which initially flummoxed me as we're vegetarian! - but I'm used to catering for that if I'm catering for them now and again while I suspect it's related to the obesity it's not a direct impact or anything.

I have a number of obese friends. It doesn't affect our friendship as we meet mostly in our homes, cafes or restaurants. We have mutual passions and they are interesting women.. I don't care about their size really and the idea that I might not want to be seen with someone obese is quite disturbing. I am sure there may be people like that but I am not an influencer!

I'm obese and yes I've stopped seeing one of my friends from childhood as all she talks about is weight, diet and how I need to lose weight.

For reference, my BMI is 31 I walk 6 miles a day, do yoga daily and have a physically demanding job.

So I made the decision to remove myself from the friendship.

I find,most obese people socialise with obese people.I think if the obese person "owns" their obesity,its fine,but if it constantly comes up in conversation,it is tedious and boring.

Being quite overweight does wonders for my friendship circle, as it gets rid of all the shallow, image obessed , competitive acquaintances.

I'm fat and have heaps of friends so no. One of extremely fabulous and popular mates had a gastric band and lost friends when she lost a heap of weight though. She said she had been the fat friend for so long, some people couldn't handle it when she wasn't any more. And if the OP is a journo, just piss off and write your own copy.

Are you obese @Shockedmama It's not clear from your posts :)

I am not obese. I have a couple of friends who are obese (by that I mean BMI over 29 , so not morbidly obese.)

What I notice is that our lifestyles are simply different and although they are friends, there are very big differences between us.

I love cooking and work really hard on healthy eating, as I enjoy that.
My obese friends aren't. They aren't interested in 'healthy eating' and one of them seems to have a life revolving around food.

So it's not their weight per se that is the issue, but lack of common lifestyles.

A couple of friends who are significantly overweight (though I would not say morbidly obese) have developed a lot of health issues as they have become middle aged, which may or may not be related to the obesity of course, but it seems to be more of an issue that with slim people. It does kind of limit what we can do, to be honest; they seem to have issues with walking for long periods and also get very very hot in the summer (I live in a country with hot sweaty summers) so do not want to spend time outside in the warmer months of the year. This has made things difficult esp during this pandemic; I don't want to just sit in someone's house for hours on end and my young child needs lots of exercise, and indoors activities have of course been limited during the last 2 years.

I'm definitely less confident since becoming overweight and don't make as much effort with friends. I am officially classed as obese but can fit in normal chairs and can walk miles etc. I don't fit in many of my nice clothes so don't like getting dressed up and going out as much. I do think my social life has suffered, due to me not making an effort, not others.
I've also been slim, a few years back, with a very obese friend and it didn't matter to me, apart from when she was so unhappy she didn't want to do anything, but I think I was a good friend to her.

I have reported.

I was obese for a long time-25 years, I thought it didn't affect friendships, it doesn't with good friends. It does with making new ones or just the way people casually respond. Sadly the world is kinder when you are slimmer.

My weight has fluctuated over the years, between sizes 12 and 16. Never affected my relationship or friendships.

Contrary to popular misogynistic stereotypes, I've found women to be nicer to me since I lost weight and at times when I've looked objectively better. Might be because my confidence, self esteem and social skills are better at those times.

I don't want people to see how big I've got and I look so horrible in anything I wear so I avoid meet ups, so my weight affects friendships because of me

I am overweight. Although not obese .I have a good friend who is obese .just worry for their general health really .Still the same kind and funny girl inside .another the same .no impact at all

Anecdotally, I definitely had more friends and s better social life when I was slim. I'm fat now, quite unattractive really, and I barely get invited out.

Of course I can't pinpoint which came first, maybe I got fat after the invites stopped coming in, maybe I had a better social life cos I was younger and just happened to be slim. But I definitely have way less friends now, and I'm fat and ugly now, so...

Name change fail?

@fluffythedragonslayer You are better off without such friends. The OP may well be a journalist but felt I had to say that.