AIBU to want to start my own 'working class Mumsnet'?

[shoplifteroftheworld]

I see so many topics and conversations on here that just don't relate to my own life and experiences. Lots of well off women talking about their recent purchases from Boden or Uniqlo or some other place I can't afford to shop. Chat about dinner parties and holidays abroad. I'd like a site for mums and women on lower incomes as this site can leave a lot of us feeling left out of certain conversations.

[quote elbea]@ssd besides the point but boden doesn’t sell women’s dresses with dogs on, maybe frugi?

We don’t have a huge income but I buy boden clothes in the sale for my daughter, you can sell them on for basically what you paid for them.[/quote]
Completely proving the point 😂 even in the sale they’re expensive for a low income

@stevalnamechanger it would cost me time and money to go to those big supermarkets with clothes, I live in z3 north London and there isn't one within walking distance. I would need to get a bus. And you don't need to wait for a sale, its almost always on. At least for Boden anyway. I have never bought anything for RRP. Can't afford anything for RRP.

I am always a bit shocked that people shop in the non sale section.

Yes joules has the bees on everything.
What catalogue is it that has a wee bit about the models eg. Jules loves dog walking (around the fucking in laws country estate)

Working class don't have dinner parties. BBQs, yeah. Piss ups and beige party food, absolutely. Family round for Sunday roast, of course. But dinner parties? Are the soul domain of the aspiring classes.

Boden is the clothing equivalent of dinner parties. Pretentious, aspirational, really not that great.

I've finally had a glance at the boden website. Oh my, not my style at all, cord trousers etc. I could win the lottery tomorrow, and I'd still rather go to primark.

I would rather buy 1 dress for £35 than 3 dresses for £10 each that I don't like.

Yes, obviously. But if you are on a low income it's not as simple as doing what you'd prefer. I remember having to buy cheap clothes that I didn't particularly like because it meant I had multiple outfits, one nice dress for £35 would have meant I had one outfit and (as I lived in a small flat with no tumble dryer) washing it meant no clothes to wear the next day as it dripped dry in a damp badly ventilated space.

I quite enjoy the choice I have nowadays, and (ironically) I now spend less on clothes as I've been able to build up a wardrobe of decent quality garments that last, but it just wasn't a possibility back then.

Terry Pratchett explained that last bit better with the Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness.

I thought Boden was now a bit old hat and everyone had moved on to toast?

[quote onlychildhamster]@2Gen I would rather buy 1 dress for £35 than 3 dresses for £10 each that I don't like. I share a cupboard with my DH (but also have underbed storage), I don't have lots of space for clothes that aren't nice! You can buy Boden cheaply on Facebook second hand.

I like Gudrun sjoden which is quite expensive i.e. £74-100 for a dress at RRP but I buy their dresses on sale or more commonly second hand. My MIL who is on below minimum wage also buys their clothes (and she is very thrifty generally, she raised 4 kids and owns her house in London and has never been in debt). She just buys on sale and I think she used to shop at an outlet store plus she wears her clothes until they become threadbare..[/quote]
But some of us, like me , can't even afford to buy 2 dresses for a tenner each! We have to ensure there is enough for food and the bills so hardly ever buy clothes for ourselves, especially if one has children to clothe and shoe and one is only on benefits!

Added to that, when I did go into shops even a bit above my price range in the past, it was just a disappointment most of the time as I couldn't afford anything, even if it was in the sale so I just stopped bothering. Better quality clothing DOES Last longer, your're right but that doesn't help those of us who just can't spare the extra, even if it is just £10 or £20 above what we'd be able to pay. I have stuff I've had for years from Asda though and it's lasted brilliantly.

It makes me think of Captain Samuel Vines boots theory. This is the updated version, the Mumsnet boden dress theory of socioeconomic unfairness.

@CheshireCats

Interesting name 🤔

I imagine it’s a homage to the Smiths song rather than a job description. There’s loads of threads started by women who don’t have the magical six figure salary, who can’t afford posh, who struggle. Just pick the ones that you relate to.

I actually like this idea. I normally like lurking here because generally I enjoy reading about different people, but I definitely come away from it feeling shit about myself sometimes.

It might be nice to have a section for people on benefits or low incomes to ask for advice without being berated for 'having children they couldn't afford'.

Although in a more serious answer to your OP, people on the internet are going to have conversations that aren’t relevant to you - this doesn’t make them wrong for having them. Letting it bother you is a waste of your time.

@MedusasBadHairDay

I would rather buy 1 dress for £35 than 3 dresses for £10 each that I don't like.

Yes, obviously. But if you are on a low income it's not as simple as doing what you'd prefer. I remember having to buy cheap clothes that I didn't particularly like because it meant I had multiple outfits, one nice dress for £35 would have meant I had one outfit and (as I lived in a small flat with no tumble dryer) washing it meant no clothes to wear the next day as it dripped dry in a damp badly ventilated space.

I quite enjoy the choice I have nowadays, and (ironically) I now spend less on clothes as I've been able to build up a wardrobe of decent quality garments that last, but it just wasn't a possibility back then.

Terry Pratchett explained that last bit better with the Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness.

I think thats why charity shops are so popular. You can buy good quality clothes for the same price as ASDA. If you have the patience to root around! I belong to a facebook group where people sell on their joules/boden; just saw a tunic for £8.90 in my size. Not buying it but its the same product as buying new from the joules website.

I don't have a tumble dryer either, just a tall airdryer and a fan to blow the clothes dry!

All this we only earn £300k a year. Can we afford a child. It gets very tedious.

@FallonCarringtonWannabe

Surely you’re describing mums net with the words reversed…?

@shoplifteroftheworld

I see so many topics and conversations on here that just don't relate to my own life and experiences. Lots of well off women talking about their recent purchases from Boden or Uniqlo or some other place I can't afford to shop. Chat about dinner parties and holidays abroad. I'd like a site for mums and women on lower incomes as this site can leave a lot of us feeling left out of certain conversations.

Unless you have the capital and wherewithall to start your own site[no idea how complicated that would be], are you asking MN to have a working class topic?

@2Gen my best work dress is from ASDA,. it cost me £20 from a charity shop! honestly think it was mis-priced, but it was a charity shop and i really liked the dress so I bought it.

When I was a student,I used to buy from asos/primark (lived in zone 1/2 and have even less accessibility to big out of town supermarkets) and had a £10 limit so I wore mainly very shorts skirts and t shirts paired with a bobbly jumper and itchy primark tights. Also bought from camden market. But I found the clothes disintegrated very quickly. I do have a £4 dress from forever 21 from those times that I still wear.

@Flickflak Wasn't suggesting they should buy from Boden. Not sure the quality is that amazing, its just better than primark which isn't saying much. But I don't understand how it is a MC status symbol! Real MC women buy clothes from all sort of shops but the ones I know wouldn't bat an eyelid at spending £100 on a dress (and generally from shops more expensive than boden). Or if they buy from primark/dorothy perkins/cheaper shops, the clothes are placed in a bin for the charity shop if they even look a tiny bit worn.

@Viviennemary

All this we only earn £300k a year. Can we afford a child. It gets very tedious.

I dont mind those, they are so ridiculous i cant take them seriously. Its the little every day things that makes me feel so outside here, even though I've been here ages. The mention of holidays like its a total given to go abroad every year and skiing in winter. The talk about cheese at xmas and i dont mean cheddar. The shopping in waitrose. The weekends away somewhere lovely. Never needing to go near butlins, or a caravan. Camping is ok, cos you know you're going to tuscany for 3 weeks in summer.

Endless threads on here about the horror of not having been abroad lately, or having to cancel expensive theatre tickets or seeing shows or bands live. When you haven't money you don't have these things. A pandemic isnt so bad for those of us not having anything to give up.

It really hadn't occurred to me until I've seen others post about it.

[quote onlychildhamster]@FindingMeno my latest Boden dress cost me £37.50 on sale which isn't massively more expensive than Zara or even H & m..tops and t shirts would cost less.[/quote]
But it's a lot more than a dress from Asda or Primark.

I find this whole class obsession on MN bizarre. In the real world, does anyone actually care where a stranger gets their clothes or where they buy their food? I literally couldn't even tell you where my closest friend bought her clothes. Everyone needs to stop segregating themselves based on what chocolate they eat and just accept people live differently to them.

As it stands, when I was homeless, MN was an amazing source of support, be it moral or practical advice. I think there are a few who are flippant with their comments (usually on the Londoncentric threads) but ignore these as they are either too self centred to change, or it's not meant maliciously.

£37.50
That's going out to a wedding sort of money for a dress.

Come on mumsnet is entertainment, some of the conversations are hilarious, definitely keep me out of trouble these Winter evenings.