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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get annoyed with looking very young.

245 replies

Astressedmumoftwo · 31/12/2021 18:11

First World problem I know but I'm nearly 30 with kids but look 17 no matter what I do, hair makeup etc.

Went for covid booster a few days ago and they asked my DOB then went "How old are you can I ask?" so I assume they were checking I was 18 plus despite the obvious 1900s birth date.

Anyways I feel like I'll never be taken seriously by other adults and I'm spoken down to a lot.

Anyone else relate?
Happy new year BTW x

OP posts:
LittleRoundRobin · 31/12/2021 23:32

@DarkDarkNight

Me too and I hate it. I’ve been mistaken for my son’s big sister on more than one occasion. I pretty much don’t ask for alcohol in bars because being asked for ID is mortifying.

I don’t get the disbelief and sarcasm that always pops up on these threads. I have a baby face, I just look more girlish than womanly. It’s more embarrassing than anything else.

That's nothing, I am frequently mistaken for my 20-something daughter's child. People ask her if I need a dummy and a bottle of milk when I'm out with her.
LittleRoundRobin · 31/12/2021 23:35

@NichyNoo

My friend is 42 but looks 12. It’s not good. Her husband gets dirty looks looks when they go out holding hands. Professionals don’t believe that her two children are hers. It doesn’t help that she dresses very young but it’s no fun and makes her life very difficult.

😂😂🤣🤣🤣

People post stuff like that, ^ and the huffy 'But I look 20 years younger so THERE, and you just JELLUS' brigade wonder why people are taking the piss.

Get over yourselves. Wink

nordica · 31/12/2021 23:35

I've been IDd for buying knives and forks (normal cutlery not sharps), craft glue sticks, a box of matches in my Ocado delivery, and painkillers, as well as alcohol, all since I was in my 30s. 😳

Alpenguin · 31/12/2021 23:38

I’ve had this my whole life. Id’d into my 40s even for lottery tickets with kids in tow. Everyone told me to appreciate it but it was embarrassing. I got covid in march 2020 and bloody hell did it age me fast. My wrinkles have wrinkles and now I look older than my age/peers. I guess the enjoy it while it lasts crows were right.

FlowersNoScent · 31/12/2021 23:40

It has been a problem to me all my life too, not just from when I became an adult. It runs in my maternal family. Again, I could tell many stories but what's the point? Grin

Those who understand, already do.

Pieceofpurplesky · 31/12/2021 23:42

Make the most of it. I've looked a lot younger all my life. Then I turned 50. Still look younger but am ageing - wrinkles the lot

ineedsun · 31/12/2021 23:42

@FlowersNoScent

It has been a problem to me all my life too, not just from when I became an adult. It runs in my maternal family. Again, I could tell many stories but what's the point? Grin

Those who understand, already do.

And those who don’t want to, won’t.
liveforsummer · 31/12/2021 23:48

Fwiw your dob is the first thing the vaccine clinic (or your regular dr receptionist) asks you. They use it to confirm your identity

roseblosssom · 31/12/2021 23:48

I'm the same op. I'm quite confident so don't get talked down to but it does get quite tiring being id'd for calpol.

Cattenberg · 31/12/2021 23:55

I was like you OP, until I was in my early thirties. I’m very short and was mortified to be mistaken for a child in my late teens.

I’m forty now and look my age, pretty much. Enjoy it while you can, although it was bloody annoying being 32 and not being able to buy a bottle of wine without ID.

FlowersNoScent · 01/01/2022 00:00

I'm no spring chicken and it didn't change for the women in my family, including my grandmother, so I hold no hope for myself.

Happy New Year people! Star

PicsInRed · 01/01/2022 00:02

Looking significantly younger is the sort of thing which holds even middle aged, highly experienced professional women back at work. It's extraodronarly difficult to speak with any professional authority - or manage staff - when same age professional peers (or even junior staff) consider you automatically younger and more junior to them. "Who do you think you are?!" Etc.

So this IS a problem, and can be a fairly life changing problem at that.

Incidentally, looking much younger doesn't attract the sort of men one would want either, after all, decent men don't chat up 25 year olds who look 12. It actually narrows the dating pool to a greater number of abusers.

Sounds great! Sign me up!

jesuistot · 01/01/2022 00:07

Yes, I’m 29 and routinely mistaken as 17/18. I have a big baby face and childish features. It’s not a good thing, I feel really self-conscious. I have friends who look like beautiful 20-something adult women, not a child like I do.

JuniorMint · 01/01/2022 00:10

@DramaAlpaca

My DS is 26 and still gets ID'd. I tell him he'll be delighted when he's 40, but he's just pissed off because his younger brother is never asked for ID.

OP, enjoy it while you can.

Enjoy being spat on and called a slag? Confused
OchonAgusOchonOh · 01/01/2022 00:17

@DramaAlpaca - My DS is 26 and still gets ID'd. I tell him he'll be delighted when he's 40, but he's just pissed off because his younger brother is never asked for ID.

Why will be be delighted when he's 40? I hated it at 26, I hated it at 40 and I still hate it at 56.

FlowersNoScent · 01/01/2022 00:21

And those who don’t want to, won’t.

Exactly.

Mylifefeelslikeadream · 01/01/2022 00:29

I know how you feel, 22 professional qualification and everyone thought I was the saturday kid. Dh used to get funny looks as well as he is 5 years old than me and when he was 30 I looked about 17/18. The last time I got challenged for alcohol was 29(before challenge 21 let alone challenge 25)

Mind you my dm got on the bus on day and they wanted to charge a childrens fare-she was 22 and this was when the childrens fare was for under 14s!Grin

DramaAlpaca · 01/01/2022 00:30

@JuniorMint well I thought it was clear that I meant embrace looking younger than you are. Not the nasty comments, no excuse for those.

@OchonAgusOchonOh it's just a family joke. I look younger than I am at 57 and I'm glad I do. I expect my lad will be too.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 01/01/2022 00:32

[quote DramaAlpaca]@JuniorMint well I thought it was clear that I meant embrace looking younger than you are. Not the nasty comments, no excuse for those.

@OchonAgusOchonOh it's just a family joke. I look younger than I am at 57 and I'm glad I do. I expect my lad will be too.[/quote]
I always found it patronising and irritating to be told I'd be glad of it at 40.

noblegreenk · 01/01/2022 00:32

I totally relate! I'm 37 and look a lot younger than I am. On one hand it's great but in the last couple of months I've had two situations that really irked me. First one was when I had to send my driving licence off due to a speeding fine. I went to sainsburys to do my weekly shop and got asked for ID for DHs Guinness. Explained that I didn't have any ID because my driving licence had to be sent off, but the checkout person wouldn't serve me. I showed her my credit cards and wedding ring but nope. She pointed out that she was just doing her job, but I got quite frustrated and said "I understand that but I'm cracking on for 40 for Christ's sake!" It wasn't my finest hour. Second incident was that we had a new guy who start working from our office. He's not a new staff member, but he moved from a different office. I think he assumed I'm some sort of office junior, as he asked me "when you make the tea, I have mine white but strong, with one sugar". I've worked in my role for 14 years and he's been in his role for 3. I made a point of telling him where the drinks facilities were and made it clear that I wasn't employed to make drinks. He's since confessed that he didn't realise how old I was and was rather surprised when he found out from a colleague.

DramaAlpaca · 01/01/2022 00:34

Ah sorry @OchonAgusOchonOh, I didn't mean it like that at all.

Violinist64 · 01/01/2022 00:36

I am now in my late fifties and am told l look younger. I put it down to a round face and very little grey hair. Luck. However, I have never smoked and keep out of the sun so this has probably helped. When I was in my twenties I looked like a teenager.

Mylifefeelslikeadream · 01/01/2022 00:37

Even now at the age of fifty a lot of people think I'm at least 5-8 years younger, I don't have many lines and have only just started getting a few gray hairs, my df at 78 still has grey hair and looks more like mid sixties.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 01/01/2022 00:39

@DramaAlpaca

Ah sorry *@OchonAgusOchonOh*, I didn't mean it like that at all.
It was something my mother used to say to me when I was in my 20's and it used to really annoy me. Maybe ask your ds does it bother him when you say it to him. Maybe he doesn't mind.
ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 01/01/2022 00:40

I was a teen mum and look young for my age! I’ll be 40 this year, and still regularly get asked for ID. Ds(19) has been mistaken for my boyfriend on more than one occasion (doesn’t help that he easily passes for mid 20’s). A new acquaintance recently thought I was a similar age to her, she was 27. It’s funny, and kind of complimentary in a social situation, but also kind of wearing having to explain myself to people.