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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get annoyed with looking very young.

245 replies

Astressedmumoftwo · 31/12/2021 18:11

First World problem I know but I'm nearly 30 with kids but look 17 no matter what I do, hair makeup etc.

Went for covid booster a few days ago and they asked my DOB then went "How old are you can I ask?" so I assume they were checking I was 18 plus despite the obvious 1900s birth date.

Anyways I feel like I'll never be taken seriously by other adults and I'm spoken down to a lot.

Anyone else relate?
Happy new year BTW x

OP posts:
NichyNoo · 31/12/2021 21:29

My friend is 42 but looks 12. It’s not good. Her husband gets dirty looks looks when they go out holding hands. Professionals don’t believe that her two children are hers. It doesn’t help that she dresses very young but it’s no fun and makes her life very difficult.

Fl0w3ry · 31/12/2021 21:29

This used to happen to me. I hated the fact both by face and body made me look like a teenager and I was constantly asked for ID or to verify my age even buying a lottery ticket! Then I hit my mid 30s, and suddenly my face seemed to make up for lost time and looked to me like it aged rapidly (but it might have been that I was suddenly looking my age) I then hated that and wished I looked too young again. Make the most of your good fortune I say, cos things will eventually change.

DramaAlpaca · 31/12/2021 21:31

My DS is 26 and still gets ID'd. I tell him he'll be delighted when he's 40, but he's just pissed off because his younger brother is never asked for ID.

OP, enjoy it while you can.

Maireas · 31/12/2021 21:31

@NichyNoo

My friend is 42 but looks 12. It’s not good. Her husband gets dirty looks looks when they go out holding hands. Professionals don’t believe that her two children are hers. It doesn’t help that she dresses very young but it’s no fun and makes her life very difficult.
She's 42 and looks 12? That is extraordinary.
eagerlywaitingfor · 31/12/2021 21:33

I had the opposite issue when I was a teenager - always had to pay full fare on the bus, but I could get into the cinema easily. Grin

Bizarrely it's the opposite way round now. I'm on a committee (only woman among 6 chaps) and until recently several of them thought I was considerably younger than I actually am, and talked down to me as a result.

I put them straight Grin Grin
they are slightly scared of me now

PGSTesting123 · 31/12/2021 21:33

21:28Butchyrestingface

I don't need your permission as to where I can and can't comment!

Really hit a nerve!

FingChristmasFamily · 31/12/2021 21:33

This topic comes up every few months and some people get so offended at the thought of people looking younger than their age. I don’t Know why it bothers them so much, but you get some really nasty remarks.

Anyway. I look quite a bit younger than I actually am. It’s a family trait, we all look young. Dsis who is 23 literally looks 15. I get asked for ID I’d say around 70% of the time, but that doesn’t worry me as long as I have it with me, it’s annoying when I don’t and am left trying to convince them that I am actually 36!

The time it can be a real pain is when it’s used in situations at work to undermine you. Ive had it done to me and it’s not fun. Also in serious life situations where you don’t want people to think you are young and inexperienced. I won’t give exact examples as last time I did I got an awful lot of abuse from posters on here telling me I’d made it up and making incredibly personal and nasty comments (I’ve named changed since then).

But I get you OP. Though most of the time I don’t hate looking young. There are times it can be a disadvantage.

NichyNoo · 31/12/2021 21:34

Yep - she looks the same age as my son’s female friends. Younger in fact as she wears no make up and they already cake their faces in it. It’s shocking. She has barely aged since high school.

Butchyrestingface · 31/12/2021 21:36

@PGSTesting123

21:28Butchyrestingface

I don't need your permission as to where I can and can't comment!

Really hit a nerve!

It was merely a suggestion. Just like I'm suggesting you stop posting patronising bollocks dismissing other people's experiences and telling them how they should feel about their physical appearance.

Obviously you don't HAVE to listen. Grin

Iseeyoulookingatme · 31/12/2021 21:39

I'm very young looking for my age I'm 38 and I really do look like I'm in my 20s. I've always been young looking. I've recently been I'd when buying prit stick for ds. A lot of people may roll there eyes but I'm constantly getting asked for ID, when people knock on the door they ask for my mum ha ha and the other day I got asked if I wanted a kids ticket on the bus. It used to bother me loads when older people used to talk down to me thinking I was younger but I ignore it now.

ruthydoodles24f · 31/12/2021 21:43

Here's my example I'm 37 now but when I was 35 I was visiting my partner in hospital (miles away from where we stay)
The nurse was giving me funny looks the whole time I was visiting but she never said anything, once we left she asked my 35 year old partner (we are 4 months apart) if I was his oldest daughter taking the younger kids to visit 😂
Although that was a dark time I did find it hilarious and cheered me right up!
Just shrug it off mostly but can be funny at times

MiracleBaby2022 · 31/12/2021 21:46

I haven't read all the replies but yes I have this problem too - and at 44 years old I think the hardest part for me is people assuming I haven't got much life experience.

Sunshineandalltherainbows · 31/12/2021 21:59

Make the most of it. I used to hate it too. Before suddenly I looked my age and then missed it!

AliceMcK · 31/12/2021 22:14

My poor SIL has had this problem. When she was pregnant she was dismissed by hospital staff on her due dates, they kept assuming she was 14 and knew nothing (she was 21). It resulted in her and my DN being put in danger. Over the years she’s had teenage girls start fights with her when she’s been walking down the street with her own teenage children, who tower over her because they think she was a teenager, people constantly dismiss her, she’s always being ID’d. She’s almost 50 now and still gets ID’d. It’s not helped that she’s only 5’, dosnt like wearing makeup and regularly puts her hair in a ponytail.

Vbree · 31/12/2021 22:35

I'm 37 and have always looked quite a bit younger. It's starting to catch up on me now so probably will with you eventually. Enjoy it while it lasts!

Blackisblackisblack · 31/12/2021 23:13

Non-White family here. We are always told that we look a lot younger than we are. I would say it is more noticeable with two of my bio sisters.

One is in her 40s but could pass for 30s.

The other is in her 30s but honestly looks like she's just come out of high school 😢 but it's not just the look, it's the height, the mannerisms (of course, nothing she can help). But she has been taken advantage of because of it, so it's not all positive.

I don't think mine is extreme though. Although I am constantly told it, a part of me still thinks that's just what people say.

Interestingly, when I was a kid, I looked much older. So, it does happen, folks. Unsure why the OP is receiving a hard time.

Moonflower12345 · 31/12/2021 23:18

Make the most of it! It is a blessing as you get older.

I had my eldest when I was 22. I always looked young. I used to get the worst looks from people, always got given child fare on the bus, pushchair and all. Now my son is 18 and people are always shocked I have a son of that age. I joke I had him when I was 12 and watch people's faces change Grin. I don't think I look particularly young still!

ineedsun · 31/12/2021 23:19

So sad that some people are so bitter and insecure that they feel the need to question the lived experience of other people.

Blossom64265 · 31/12/2021 23:23

I once took a day off work from my high powered corporate job to catch up on errands and got accused of truancy. It goes away eventually.

LittleRoundRobin · 31/12/2021 23:25

@WorraLiberty

Oh I know how you feel OP

It gets embarrassing when my friends are offered the wine list and I'm given an activity sheet and crayons.

Well I get offered a high chair and a nappy. I am middle aged and am often mistaken for 2 years old.

@Astressedmumoftwo I feel your pain. Looking 2 years old like I do is a pain. Sad

LittleRoundRobin · 31/12/2021 23:26

@ineedsun

So sad that some people are so bitter and insecure that they feel the need to question the lived experience of other people.
Someone's over-tired. Wink
ineedsun · 31/12/2021 23:27

Fucking hilarious 🙄

DarkDarkNight · 31/12/2021 23:28

Me too and I hate it. I’ve been mistaken for my son’s big sister on more than one occasion. I pretty much don’t ask for alcohol in bars because being asked for ID is mortifying.

I don’t get the disbelief and sarcasm that always pops up on these threads. I have a baby face, I just look more girlish than womanly. It’s more embarrassing than anything else.

Tomlettegregg · 31/12/2021 23:28

I'm 31 with a daughter I get id'd 9 times out of 10 but I don't wear much make up and I often wear trainers and short(ish) dresses so I understand why but I take it as a compliment. Definitely doesn't upset me.

FlowersNoScent · 31/12/2021 23:32

I'm with you, OP.

I don't talk about this problem to anyone anymore, let alone sneery MN posters, because people don't get it.

Yes it is a problem to me. I could tell you details but what's the point?

I think because society tells everyone they should look young - and most people want to look younger than they are - they think people like us are...I don't know...fishing for compliments? Complaining about something others don't have? Perhaps. Doesn't stop it from being a problem for some of us.

I'd rather look my age, thanks. I literally danced the first time I saw a grey hair strand on my head. Literally. My DD would tell you if you knew her.

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