To get annoyed with looking very young.

[Astressedmumoftwo]

First World problem I know but I'm nearly 30 with kids but look 17 no matter what I do, hair makeup etc.

Went for covid booster a few days ago and they asked my DOB then went "How old are you can I ask?" so I assume they were checking I was 18 plus despite the obvious 1900s birth date.

Anyways I feel like I'll never be taken seriously by other adults and I'm spoken down to a lot.

Anyone else relate?
Happy new year BTW x

I understand how it feels. It irks me a lot as a teacher because there would always someone walking in to my class, and asking my students, “Where is your teacher!” And every single time, when I point out that it’s me, they’d apologise and then say that they thought that I was a student. It happens far less now that we’ve been doing online classes. But you still get talked down to a lot.

Article which illustrates the absolutely disastrous consequences for one poor woman who was assumed to be younger than her age, and this was by medical staff who had her DoB listed on medical records in front of them.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4261776/Sheffield-mum-42-stillborn-baby-looked-young.html

Presumably she was 'desperate' to be taken for younger too.

Butchyrestingface

That’s incredibly sad to read.

But I really don’t understand how they didn’t think she was in her 40s based on that photo.

Posted too soon.

And the fact they would have had her date of birth.

But I really don’t understand how they didn’t think she was in her 40s based on that photo.

No, nor I.

But then again, I don't really understand all the posters on here and elsewhere who claim that they can't take such-and-such an adult actor seriously because they "look 12" and so on.

It just goes to show that people really aren't always the great judges of gauging age that they think they are, even when they are medics with a duty of care & a DoB clearly written on a medical chart in front of them.

I think realistically many many people are just completely terrible at judging age, and our assessment of others is based on our own perspectives. I have been on the receiving end of comments about how I don’t look old enough to have children (let alone 4), among others. It’s just not true though, I look like a fairly normal 38 year old woman. I do have a slight baby face, but if anything I feel like I look older due to the cumulative effect of sleep deprivation. However, my mum has always been at great pains to make herself look younger than her age, and she certainly seems younger than most of her other 65-70yr old friends, so I think that warps my perspective a bit and when I’m asked to guess someone’s age, I usually minus 5 years off what I think they look! I do think more awareness about the impact of the sun and smoking has helped people look younger compared to older generations at the same age. Even in my mum’s era, most people she knew smoked in their early 20’s and didn’t use much sun protection through their teen years.
The only person I’ve ever known that I truly thought looked younger than her age was my GP, although she admits that women from her country generally age very well until much later in life. She must be around 55-60, but if she told me she was early 40’s it would be very believable.

@Mellowyellow222

I have always looked younger - in my forties now and look early thirties. Probably because of my colouring and height. I am not pretty so this isn’t a boast!

It’s a nightmare. I am a senior director and people always assume I am much more junior. It’s a very sexist world, and I doubt this would happen to a man. People have assumed my secretary (male) is my boss.

I once went to a conference with my boss and two separate people asked if I was his daughter -WTF.

It doesn’t happen to men, but it’s just another way of putting women down.

I do sympathize. But men are definitely affected, albeit perhaps not in the same way. I'm male, babyfaced and well established in my profession, and I've often not been taken seriously face-to-face. It's not a problem on the phone or when I'm corresponding, which amuses me.

I have a beard, not because I like it but because it ages me.

That article is so sad @Butchyrestingface
It’s not the same at all but I was denied pain relief and was horribly patronised when giving birth to DC2 “don’t be silly Vashta, you’re not in labour yet, this baby’s not arriving until at least tomorrow” etc. And then after I gave birth they admitted that they assumed it was my first child (medical notes anyone??) because I “looked so young”. I was 32!!!

(I mean that is just poor practice really because even if I was sixteen there’s still a chance I’d had a child before. Not good enough at all.)

@Butchyrestingface

Article which illustrates the absolutely disastrous consequences for one poor woman who was assumed to be younger than her age, and this was by medical staff who had her DoB listed on medical records in front of them.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4261776/Sheffield-mum-42-stillborn-baby-looked-young.html

Presumably she was 'desperate' to be taken for younger too.

That’s awful! They had her d.o.b in front of them too? That’s so sad.

She looks like she’s late 40s.

That's a tragic story, poor woman.
As pp said, they had her dob in front of them, so it's just very poor practice.
I wonder if they just said she looked young to try and avoid blame? It's inexcusable, they had a duty of care.

I used to think this but now my face has started to have the odd wrinkle I am quite happy to have baby face. I know it's a pain but as PP have said, your friends will one day wish they had your face so patience is key here

I wonder if they just said she looked young to try and avoid blame?

Not sure how anyone could think that excuse could help them avoid blame, "Well, we had her medical records and her DoB but thought she looked young so we went with that instead..." If anything, it makes it worse.

Photos aren't always an entirely accurate representation of someone's appearance, especially when there's only one to go on, but even if she did actually look significantly younger in the flesh than the photo indicates, it's still a baffling and terrible case.

Still, if the lady had come onto this thread and recounted her terrible experience, it's heart-warming to think that, like other posters, she'd have been ridiculed, mocked, abused, dismissed as a fantasist desperate to be perceived as young and told to enjoy it.

I can't believe that poor woman would be ridiculed and mocked on here - she lost her child. Terrible circumstances, dreadful medical care. I'm sure she'd be advised sensibly and well, in the main.

Hi OP I have a ‘baby face’ and it’s shit when you’re not taken seriously at work, patronised, sneered at, judged and people laugh at you in bars etc. Very few people would just say ‘oh ok you look good for your age’. There was mostly sneering, mistrust, judgement (of what I don’t know) so you really have my sympathy.
Eventually you look like an adult and then it turns into wow you look good for your age/how do you look so young comments. Which is much nicer, but I could have done without being made to feel crap for doing nothing wrong.
I have always been assertive but if I could go back I’d properly pull people up on it and give them shit.

People would not mock the woman who lost her baby if she came on her and told her story. They would concentrate on the terrible loss of her baby and sympathise, maybe some would tell their story and they would advise her to take further action if she wanted to, based on the fact that in a medical setting, they would have had her date of birth. They would be kind like I have seen people be to others who have suffered the loss of a baby.

I am 39 and I still regularly get refused the sale of alcohol as I get asked and I don’t carry any ID with me.

I definitely don’t look 18 (or even under 25) yet I still get asked every few months or so

@TheSecretaryBird

I am 39 and I still regularly get refused the sale of alcohol as I get asked and I don’t carry any ID with me.

I definitely don’t look 18 (or even under 25) yet I still get asked every few months or so

I had this too! It stopped when I grew the beard.

I appreciate that beard growing may not be an option available to you.

Honestly, I think from 18 - mid 30's it can be hard to tell age, because people barely age in that range.

Wait until your late 30's / 40's and you'll notice then.

True. My face still looks young apart from the bags under my eyes. I was complaining about them and a colleague suggested haemorrhoid cream. I'm not sure whether she was being serious but I haven't tried it.