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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get annoyed with looking very young.

245 replies

Astressedmumoftwo · 31/12/2021 18:11

First World problem I know but I'm nearly 30 with kids but look 17 no matter what I do, hair makeup etc.

Went for covid booster a few days ago and they asked my DOB then went "How old are you can I ask?" so I assume they were checking I was 18 plus despite the obvious 1900s birth date.

Anyways I feel like I'll never be taken seriously by other adults and I'm spoken down to a lot.

Anyone else relate?
Happy new year BTW x

OP posts:
muddyford · 31/12/2021 20:01

I was asked my age in pubs well into my 20s. Then I must have looked my age until a few years ago, when I applied for an over-55s exercise class, when the teacher said I was too young...seventh decade was calling!

ReesesPieces100 · 31/12/2021 20:06

I'm the same, I'm 22 and I look 12. I feel like I never get taken seriously and I'm never seen as an adult.

Maireas · 31/12/2021 20:07

If you're tall with big boobs you can't look that young, surely?
Also, being spat at and called a slag is vile, misogynist behaviour and nothing to do with you looking young.

Mellowyellow222 · 31/12/2021 20:07

@likeafishneedsabike

The odd thing is that I never meet anyone in real life who looks half their age. Only on MN. My colleagues are always rabbitting to me that I don’t look mid 40s. I do. It’s just that I am very slight and they are trying to be nice. There are lots of younger women on the team and they want to let me know I’m ‘one of them’. They don’t mean I literally look as young as them. It’s code. It sounds like you have a very pretty face with fabulous skin but i very much doubt you look 17 years old at 30.
There is always one!

Someone who patronisingly tells you the problem you are experiencing isn’t real, it’s all in your head.

It’s like the man who told me I wasn’t experiencing sexism in the workplace.

CriminalOrator · 31/12/2021 20:07

@WorraLiberty

Oh I know how you feel OP

It gets embarrassing when my friends are offered the wine list and I'm given an activity sheet and crayons.

Bravo. Truly.
LessTime · 31/12/2021 20:07

It’s never bothered me. I had my kids in rapid succession in my twenties and even now get the ‘you don’t look old enough’ comments when I tell people how old they are. I don’t feel I’ve ever been looked down on or patronised. I’m not particularly well educated but I had a professional type of job. I find my age has caught up with me more now that I’m in my 50s. My skin, my general looks and my ‘style’ still looks young but neck and hands look about right.

CriminalOrator · 31/12/2021 20:08

That sounded sarcastic and it wasn’t. You made me laugh.

Butchyrestingface · 31/12/2021 20:08

The odd thing is that I never meet anyone in real life who looks half their age. Only on MN

How do you know you haven't? You might be interacting with people on a passing basis that look significantly younger w/o discussions about their age coming into it.

People I come into contact with, at work or socially, seem to assume I'm in my early to mid twenties. I don't usually correct them because I can't be arsed dealing with the comments that experience has taught me are likely to follow.

Vegetalienne · 31/12/2021 20:10

Photo?

Briarshollow · 31/12/2021 20:12

Gosh, tall, big boobs, and so young-looking. Sounds genuinely terrible.

Don’t tell me you aren’t also cursed with a poreless olive complexion and thick shining brunette hair? Haven’t you suffered enough?

Freecuthbert · 31/12/2021 20:12

I feel your pain OP. Last year I went to the park by my house when it was night as I didn't have a garden and needed some fresh air. My house was right next door to the park and it's in a safe residential area etc. Some man passing by thought I was a child and was grilling me about it, asking why I was out at this hour and where my parents were etc. I said I'm an adult (26 at the time) and it's none of his business, so he said he was going to ring the police because he suspects I'm trying to run away from home or up to no good! I couldn't believe it, and the man was quite intimidating. I sent a text to my partner and he got to the park quickly and we walked back to our house, the man then followed us back to my house! Apparently he didn't trust my partner and thought he was a grown man taking advantage of me Hmm Of course this man was a bit of a nutter, but I've been patronised throughout my 20s about my age/how young I look especially at work.

catfunk · 31/12/2021 20:13

I can imagine it gets tiresome.... but think in 10 years time you might start to appreciate it

Maireas · 31/12/2021 20:14

@Freecuthbert - he thought you were a small child and you were 26?

Mellowyellow222 · 31/12/2021 20:15

Ignoring the snide comments, I found this article interesting

www.refinery29.com/en-gb/does-looking-young-affect-your-career

Others can pretend it’s a work of fiction

zoomies2021 · 31/12/2021 20:15

Now I am considerably older it's not such a thing but I suffered from this. Also my height - very short. Sometimes still sit on chairs that are too tall and my feet swing beneath me and no matter how much I try to remember that I am grown adult woman who deserves to be at the work meeting I still feel like a child

PGSTesting123 · 31/12/2021 20:15

Anyone that I've ever met that thinks they look young for their age, they never do.

Freecuthbert · 31/12/2021 20:16

[quote Maireas]@Freecuthbert - he thought you were a small child and you were 26?[/quote]
No not a small child, just a child (like 16 or under)

Mellowyellow222 · 31/12/2021 20:20

@PGSTesting123

Anyone that I've ever met that thinks they look young for their age, they never do.
Why does this thread make you want to put people in their place?
Original poster
Astressedmumoftwo · 31/12/2021 20:21

@firstimemamma

They ask for everyone's DOB where I got my vaccines op.
Yep they do, but he then asked how old I was after asking my DOB. I've not been asked that any other jab so.. I don't know. Maybe he was just being nosy or making small talk
OP posts:
Original poster
Astressedmumoftwo · 31/12/2021 20:23

@Briarshollow

Gosh, tall, big boobs, and so young-looking. Sounds genuinely terrible.

Don’t tell me you aren’t also cursed with a poreless olive complexion and thick shining brunette hair? Haven’t you suffered enough?

No, I'm not attractive in the slightest
OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 31/12/2021 20:23

I've been working from home during the pandemic, client interaction has mostly been limited to calls where my face isn't seen. I don't have a young sounding voice and it's been great - none of the usual patronising head-patting bullshit I encounter from both women and men in face-to-face encounters.

Butchyrestingface · 31/12/2021 20:25

@PGSTesting123

Anyone that I've ever met that thinks they look young for their age, they never do.
How many people is that then?

Unless you have asked every person you've ever met how old they are and whether they think they look young for their age, you must be dealing with a very small sample.

PGSTesting123 · 31/12/2021 20:26

Today 20:20Mellowyellow222

PGSTesting123

Anyone that I've ever met that thinks they look young for their age, they never do.

Why does this thread make you want to put people in their place?

I don't see how that is putting someone in their place!

It's just my opinion, whenever I've met women who say this about themselves it's never true.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 31/12/2021 20:28

@SevenSteps

It is annoying for now but honestly, in ten years time you will be very grateful!
That's a really patronising comment. I'm 56, look much younger and am still irritated by people assuming I'm much younger. The usual comment is "you must have started very young" if I mention my adult children (oldest is 23 so definitely didn't start young).
Idontbelieveit14 · 31/12/2021 20:29

I’m 34 and have a 15 year old DD and a 13 year old DS. When I had my 4 year old at baby groups everyone assumed he was my first when I said how old my other children were everyone was aghast. I recently started a new job and all my new colleagues couldn’t believe I had two teenagers, I don’t look old enough etc etc. i actually don’t mind it now but it used to drive me mad when I was younger. When my eldest was a baby I went on a rare shopping trip alone. I got charged for a child ticket (I was 19) and I was too embarrassed to say anything 🙈

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