To get annoyed with looking very young.

[Astressedmumoftwo]

First World problem I know but I'm nearly 30 with kids but look 17 no matter what I do, hair makeup etc.

Went for covid booster a few days ago and they asked my DOB then went "How old are you can I ask?" so I assume they were checking I was 18 plus despite the obvious 1900s birth date.

Anyways I feel like I'll never be taken seriously by other adults and I'm spoken down to a lot.

Anyone else relate?
Happy new year BTW x

I’m late 40s and still get rubbish off delivery drivers like ah but if I THINK your under 25 I can’t let you have it. Even when your waving photo ID at them!

Yeah I get this

I was asked for ID when I was 9months pregnant and buying a bottle of wine in the supermarket for my mum and I didn’t get served as I didn’t have id with me 😂 I’m 33

Another time my husband went to order something at the bar and the bar man said he’d drop it down where are you sitting - husband points over to me

Bar man says over there beside that little boy 😧😂😂

I get it OP.
I’m 38 in a couple of weeks and because I work in a busy customer facing role I get a lot of comments about how young I look.
I didn’t learn to drive until my late 20’s so didn’t have an ID so would always carry around my passport and get the piss took out of me for it but it was needed because I always get ID’d!

My neighbours were having some landscaping work done and one of the blokes clocked me leaving my house and asked if my parents were in because he needed to ask their permission for something. He didn’t quite believe me when I said it was my house and waited until my old fart of a husband was home!

Also had the supermarket delivery guy think I was the cleaner too and tried to sympathise with me because my employers made me get the groceries in as well as clean their toilets - in his defence I did have a bottle of toilet gel in my hand at the time 😂

@RockinHorseShit

I had this in my 30s & 40s, always presumed to be some young twenty something bimbo, even when I was running the show at work. I could use it in my favour at times, but it could be bloody annoying & I had hell buying a house from an older couple who were patronising as hell.

I'm 60 now & get mistaken for quite bit younger & find I'm still taken seriously, whilst friends complain they often aren't due to being older.

So yes it's a bitch now, but it all pans out in the end

I also had this when buying a house! Estate agent kept offering to show me cheaper houses and was patronising as hell. It gave me the rage.

I get your struggles but I'm sure there is worse ones to have. I look young for my age, I'm a teacher and parents definitely don't take me seriously!

I'm 26 and got IDed recently for energy drinks which are age 16+. I feel your pain lol.

@LondonQueen

I get your struggles but I'm sure there is worse ones to have. I look young for my age, I'm a teacher and parents definitely don't take me seriously!

Of course there are worse struggles (I hope you aren’t an English teacher!).

Cancer, infertility, bereavement, divorce, mental health issues would all be worse.

But this is the issue OP wanted to discuss. It’s okay to be irritated by something that isn’t world ending.

I was still getting on the bus for free in my mid twenties if I got on with my mam 😂

Things have changed since I hit my 30s though, and people take me more seriously now. I still get comments on how dainty I am, but not about I look like a child anymore thank god.

I dont know if its gaining confidence in being assertive that stopped people talking down to me, or if it's more the fact I clearly don't look like a child anymore. I'm not complaining either way. But it was incredibly frustrating when I was younger. It was humiliating, so I completely get where you are coming from.

I know you'll get comments about how lucky you are but I know exactly how you feel
I've aged 10 years in the last 2 so I'm sure it won't happen anymore but looking a lot younger than I was has meant I've been bullied at work because people thought I was fresh out of school in my late 20s, not taken seriously, had some really embarrassing moments regards being id'd in my 30s (didn't mind being id'd but some people just love the power trip)
Yeah I really get it

I've always looked ridiculously young... at 18 I looked 12 so could never get into pubs or nightclubs without ID and even then afew refused me because they thought my ID was fake.
When I was pregnant with my first child in my 20's I got some very rude, ignorant and down right insulting comments from strangers who obviously thought I was a young teen. This happened on several occasions including from doctors.
Then there's the fact that no one took me seriously for years because I was baby faced.

There are a lot of downsides to looking too young.

However now that I'm nearly 40 and people think I'm at least 10 yrs younger than I am, I'm starting to enjoy looking young. I now look like an adult so no more patronising insults. I can take it as a compliment when people are shocked at my age.

Hang in there OP, there will come a time when looking young works in your favour.

In 10-15 years it will improve!!

It's horrible at times, been there myself.

I’m 36 and I get IDed all the time. I recently got IDed for a bottle of snow globe gin in marks and Spencer that I was buying as a Christmas present alongside a few other treats. I had my 7 yr old DD and baby with me. I didn’t have any ID (my own stupid fault as I get asked all the time so I should always remember to carry it) and once they’ve asked, if you can’t produce it they can’t serve you. I wonder how many 17 year olds are spending £40 on a bottle of gin plus £80 on other assorted Christmas treat foods like cheeseboard etc while shopping with their kids. I’m nearly 20 years over the legal drinking age. The only thing more annoying is the people who actually think it’s a good thing or should be taken as a compliment.

Sometimes I act younger because I look younger too. Like in group situations etc. I find it hard to be outspoken and authoritive because I know people are thinking 'who's this wee lassie'

It's not always a good thing.

@NoNameHere12

They don’t say you look 17, they treat you like a child! It’s not a compliment! 😡

Exactly this.

People dont get it. I used to have this problem and it was so upsetting. I remember being with my ex husband and we had seen this horrible and very revealing top in the shop and i was teasing him saying i was going to buy it. A stranger who was obviously eavesdropping told me i should feel ashamed about wearing it and my dad having to see me walk out the house dressed like 'a tart'. I told her to mind her own business as I was having a conversation with my husband and she told me to stop being stupid and go home to my parents to finish growing up. I was in my 20s.

I hear you, people get all sarcie about it but it’s a pain in the neck.

I’m 48 and have to explain my life story to people on a regular basis, whether that be to explain how I’m a specialist in my work (I work in a university and get mistaken for a student and patronised by people who have worked for ten years less than me) or how I’ve got adult kids and grandkids. I was asked for ID buying alcohol 6 months ago.

To be fair I dress younger than I am, but I refuse to go all twinset and pearls or dress sensibly just because of my age.

Such rudeness on this thread, really unnecessary. I get it op, have also had the same all my life. People thinking you're 30 when you're 40 might be fine, but people thinking you're a child when you're an adult is not ok, and frankly embarrassing. As someone said further up, it can also be difficult in a patient/client facing role, I often get asked 'so how long have you been doing this?' And for those who think we don't look as young as we think, I came back from a work trip and got asked at the age of 37 at passport control if I was over 18!

I honestly wonder what makes people decide to treat others with such disrespect and call them names? A slag? Do such people detect an air of timidity around people who get spoken to like it’s been done to you?
It’s truly horrible.
I look younger than I am but it’s not uncommon in my family. Nobody has used that as an excuse to speak down to me like that. They’d get a lovely calm reply.

I’m sorry you’re going through this OP. Do you need help in asserting yourself, etc?

Yeah. 45 and got ID’d buying a bottle of Chablis the other week - the obvious choice for underage drinkers 😂

I have found I drop into conversation that I have twenty years experience. I was once in a meeting where a woman said don’t be ridiculous - how could you possibly have that amount of experience at your age!

Patronising arse.

I have a professional coach and we have talked about how to command a room etc. I have researched how to to dress to look older.

In the work place looking younger is often a huge disadvantage. But as I said upthread, it does seem to more of a problem for women.

@Morgan12

Sometimes I act younger because I look younger too. Like in group situations etc. I find it hard to be outspoken and authoritive because I know people are thinking 'who's this wee lassie'

It's not always a good thing.

Yes! This is exactly what I struggled with for years. It didn't help when people spoke down to me and didn't take me seriously, it just kind of pushed me further back into my shell and put everyone else above me.

They ask for everyone's DOB where I got my vaccines op.

I used to have this. When I was 26 I went (out of nosiness) to look round a few houses my parents were viewing. One of the vendors pointed how close the grammar school which would apparently be great for my GCSEs. I was ID'd throughout my 20s. My aim was to get ID'd at 18 x 2 but I didn't quite make it, last time was when I was 33.

I basically never looked anywhere from about 17-35 then after that it changed quickly. I'm 42 now and I think I look about that.

I used to have this problem but now in my 40s no longer have this problem...time will sort this problem out OP 😜

The odd thing is that I never meet anyone in real life who looks half their age. Only on MN.
My colleagues are always rabbitting to me that I don’t look mid 40s. I do. It’s just that I am very slight and they are trying to be nice. There are lots of younger women on the team and they want to let me know I’m ‘one of them’. They don’t mean I literally look as young as them. It’s code.
It sounds like you have a very pretty face with fabulous skin but i very much doubt you look 17 years old at 30.

OP I feel you. I get it all the time, it makes me feel so insecure especially when out with my little one as people do treat you like a teen with a toddler.

Worse thing is when you get ID'd for a potato peeler!!
I'm nearly 40 ffs!