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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend's DS might be prosecuted for dangerous driving

250 replies

walnutroaster · 30/12/2021 20:41

Hi I've name changed for this as I don't want my other posts linked to this. My very close friends DS who is in his early 20's was recently involved in a car accident, he is fine and the passenger in the other car suffered minor injuries but are ok.

Friends DS caused the accident as he decided to overtake a bus which was going quite slow, when he over took the bus the other side was clear but when he was overtaking the bus a car came in the other direction and unfortunately he didn't have enough time to get around the bus and he crashed head on in to the car. Her DS is obviously at fault and I'm not trying to excuse what he did. Friends DS said this was the first time driving in nearly 5 years that he has overtaken anything over than a cyclist.

Friend insisted her DS made a genuine mistake and is the first mistake he has made driving, I know I might sound like I am excusing the DS but he is such a lovely and well behaved young man so I genuinely believe he made a one off mistake which he will never make aging. Her DS has said he will never overtake a vehicle again, I don't believe he is a threat to other road users.

Friends DS is scared he is going to get prosecuted for dangerous driving, my DH seems to think he should be charged as he could have killed someone and I need to stop having such a soft spot for him. I said to DH I don't think he deserves a driving ban as he made one genuine mistake which he won't do again but DH seems to think if the DS does not get banned it makes a mockery of the legal system.

AIBU to lenient on my friends DS?

OP posts:
TheAntiGardener · 30/12/2021 23:37

@ancientgran

How do people on here know he was at fault? He might have had clear vision of a good stretch of road, started to overtake and a car appears doing 70 in a 30 mph zone and they collide. Or he might have misjudged it and it is totally his fault. No one here can know either way. The police have specially trained officers who can "read" the evidence, they don't just jump to conclusions.

OP the police will prepare the evidence and the CPS will decide if they will prosecute or not. Nothing you can do.

Completely agree with this. There are a lot of posters who seem to know enough that they can say he should or even will be banned. That he’s probably driving recklessly all the time. These posts are not unlike op’s, who is assuming too far in the opposite direction. We just don’t know. We have to hope those who determine what happens here and who do know get it right.
AffIt · 30/12/2021 23:37

A friend of mine was pulled over and prosecuted for 'morning after' DD about five years ago (we are in Scotland, so zero tolerance for DD).

He's a social worker, one of the best people I know. But what he did was against the law, so he was prosecuted, paid a fine and received a 12-month ban, which is the minimum here.

Why do you think your 'friend's' son should receive any less?

UnicornsandRainbows1 · 30/12/2021 23:42

Honestly, the only person who doesn't have their head up their a** is your husband.

I don't think him being a nice guy really means anything. Someone WAS injured, no matter how minor, and that's down to your friend's son. You don't actually know if the other car was speeding, you have the son's word for it, and I'd just thank your lucky stars that no-one has been seriously injured or killed. Would he still be a nice boy then?

user1481840227 · 30/12/2021 23:43

It's absolutely fine to feel sorry for him and be sad that it happened. Most people aren't that harsh on people that they know and like when they do something wrong.

But you really sound like you're catastrophizing the situation,
worst case scenario is prosecution and a driving ban. Yep it's an inconvenience, sometimes quite a major one, but the driving ban won't be forever and he will then go back to normal life.
At least he didn't kill someone and have to live with the guilt of that forever and at least he wasn't paralysed or didn't suffer a brain injury or any other painful injures that would cause him to live for years or the rest of his life in pain.

cherrybonbons · 30/12/2021 23:45

Well last time someone overtook a bus, my runner friend died. And it's broken the community.

Beautiful3 · 30/12/2021 23:45

He should have slowed down and gone back behind the bus. Sounds like he thought he had enough time to overtake, but didn't. Fact is, he was on the wrong side of the road, he shouldn't have kept going when he saw the other car. He should have stopped and gone back to his side. I think its dangerous driving, myself.

SimpsonsXmasBoogie · 30/12/2021 23:50

Is he is a celebrity? If so, he'll be fine. They can drive as dangerously as they like, as often as they like, and nothing much comes of it.

Getoutofbed25 · 30/12/2021 23:52

Anything could happen in our crazy judicial system. My husband and 9 year old son were stationary awaiting turning right in a designated turning lane when a driver out his face on drugs coming in the opposite direction hit them head on, he was falling asleep at the wheel then correcting himself and zig zagging all ways, our car was written off, 9 year old sustained a bad head injury and husband had whiplash, other car rolled onto roof, we were pushed into traffic on a busy road……and believe it or not the out his face on drugs driver was admonished, what a mockery of the system

RobertaFirmino · 30/12/2021 23:54

@iheartredsquirrels

it's strange op hasn't commented again. But I still think it's her ds at fault.
Yup, definitely OP's son, not a 'friend's'. She's just far too overinvested in this for it to be anything else. He's probably a golden child, had Mummy wiping his arse for him all his life and can do no wrong. God help his future wife.
TyrannosaurusRegina · 31/12/2021 00:05

He could have killed someone. Imagine he had crashed into a pregnant woman or hit a car with a baby/young child in the back. It doesn't bear thinking about.

FAQs · 31/12/2021 00:18

If it was clear and the other car 'suddenly' appeared the other car may very have been driving too fast, difficult to prove, most buses have cameras on so that might assist and prove/disprove or possibly even proportion blame.

WindyRose · 31/12/2021 00:18

With respect OP, were you in the car at the time to know exactly what happened? Whether people agree or not, road rules are there for 'everyone' to abide by and being a 'lovely and well behaved young man' has nothing to do with it. Also 'the first time driving in nearly 5 years that he has overtaken anything over than a cyclist' sounds as though he's not a very confident and nervous driver.

Sorry but I have to agree with your DH in that your DS made a mistake and all were fortunate that it didn't end much worse than a few minor injuries, although the injured person in the other car might not agree their injuries were in fact 'minor'.

People have been died in road accidents with seemingly 'minor' injuries.

TwentinQuarantino · 31/12/2021 00:26

Dangerous drivers are dickheads. I have a close relative currently lying in hospital with a head injury due to a reckless young person like your/friend's DS. Lucky to be alive. Makes no difference how lovely they are, their one mistake can prove fatal.

housemaus · 31/12/2021 00:55

@walnutroaster

I forgot to add in my OP that my friends DS is dyspraxic but I don't know if it is relevant at all to what he did.
If his dyspraxia makes it too dangerous for him to drive due to him being unable to judge time/distance to the point he could have killed someone then yes of fucking course he should have his licence taken off him. That's not cruel, it's for everyone's (including his) safety.

If it's nothing to do with his dyspraxia and he was careless/dangerous, then... well, careless driving or dangerous driving are criminal offences.

Tallisimo · 31/12/2021 01:04

He’s never overtaken anything except cyclists in the five years he has been driving? Really? How bizarre. Hmm

He misjudged the road, and the manoeuvre he was undertaking, and was extremely fortunate not to have caused more damage. He needs to take the consequences, whatever they are. Him being a nice chap is neither here nor there.

Stompythedinosaur · 31/12/2021 01:51

But it sounds like he was driving dangerously? So I'm not sure why you think he shouldn't be prosecuted. Because you like him? Would that apply if it was a different crime he committed?

He is lucky he didn't kill someone.

Slytherinprincess · 31/12/2021 02:01

Tbh he has made a mistake and had an accident...the road may have been clear when he started to overtake and like someone said the other car came speeding round the corner. Sometimes an accident is just that an accident.

As a side note one thing I was always taught in my driving lessons 20+ years ago is that you have to drive as though everyone around you will make mistakes as well. What I mean is he made a mistake overtaking....but why didn't the car he hit see him coming and stop himself. When I approach a bus I'm always wary of any cars suddenly pulling out from behind it.

Slytherinprincess · 31/12/2021 02:02

I'm not saying he wasn't at fault though.

AffIt · 31/12/2021 02:11

@Slytherinprincess

Tbh he has made a mistake and had an accident...the road may have been clear when he started to overtake and like someone said the other car came speeding round the corner. Sometimes an accident is just that an accident.

As a side note one thing I was always taught in my driving lessons 20+ years ago is that you have to drive as though everyone around you will make mistakes as well. What I mean is he made a mistake overtaking....but why didn't the car he hit see him coming and stop himself. When I approach a bus I'm always wary of any cars suddenly pulling out from behind it.

Why would the other party - on the right side of the road - have been speeding?

The Highway Code clearly states that fault lies with the vehicle on the 'unusual' side of the road: if you cannot clearly hear or see, then you are to blame

Cissyandflora · 31/12/2021 02:15

@Iwant2move

My husband was killed when a car overtook him.
I’m so sorry.
Rangoon · 31/12/2021 03:09

I am sorry but there is not one law law for oafish, rude people compared to "lovely and well behaved" people. Can you comprehend how frightening it was for the people who found the car heading towards them on their side of the road? I am kind of disbelieving that he went from not overtaking anything bigger than a bike to trying to overtake a bus. It's not really a natural progression.

As a very young teenage driver I went to overtake a slow car on a quite wide road. I got my revs up and signalled and expected to sail past. Something went wrong, I wasn't passing and I was on the wrong side of the road for too long for comfort although it was clear. I panicked and floored it and passed. I should have fallen back of course because I soon realised that the driver had accelerated as soon as I had started to overtake. I glanced in my rear vision mirror and saw his wife yelling at him. It was literally over 10 years before I overtook anything but bikes. I am always careful to make it easy for people to pass me and I'd never ever do what that driver did.

Thatldo · 31/12/2021 06:03

DS has total lack of judgement.It is part of learning to drive safely to be able to know when it is totally safe to overtake.sorry,but I hope he gets a driving ban for a long time.A friend of mine was killed by a careless driver.What if it was your DS in the other car!!!?

Oblomov21 · 31/12/2021 06:26

What about the fact that the car on the other side was speeding? He shouldn't of been speeding. Normally this is a MN Cardinal sin. But not today it would seem?

MichelleScarn · 31/12/2021 06:59

@Oblomov21

What about the fact that the car on the other side was speeding? He shouldn't of been speeding. Normally this is a MN Cardinal sin. But not today it would seem?
The other car 'speeding' wasn't part of the initial tale...
NannaMcPhoo · 31/12/2021 07:22

What about the fact that the car on the other side was speeding? He shouldn't of been speeding. Normally this is a MN Cardinal sin. But not today it would seem

If the other driver was speeding yes it might have been a contributing factor to the accident but the blame is still with the overtaking car. If you do not have sufficient visibility to see what is approaching on the other side of the road then you must not go on the other side of the road. End of story.