Friend's DS might be prosecuted for dangerous driving

[walnutroaster]

Hi I've name changed for this as I don't want my other posts linked to this. My very close friends DS who is in his early 20's was recently involved in a car accident, he is fine and the passenger in the other car suffered minor injuries but are ok.

Friends DS caused the accident as he decided to overtake a bus which was going quite slow, when he over took the bus the other side was clear but when he was overtaking the bus a car came in the other direction and unfortunately he didn't have enough time to get around the bus and he crashed head on in to the car. Her DS is obviously at fault and I'm not trying to excuse what he did. Friends DS said this was the first time driving in nearly 5 years that he has overtaken anything over than a cyclist.

Friend insisted her DS made a genuine mistake and is the first mistake he has made driving, I know I might sound like I am excusing the DS but he is such a lovely and well behaved young man so I genuinely believe he made a one off mistake which he will never make aging. Her DS has said he will never overtake a vehicle again, I don't believe he is a threat to other road users.

Friends DS is scared he is going to get prosecuted for dangerous driving, my DH seems to think he should be charged as he could have killed someone and I need to stop having such a soft spot for him. I said to DH I don't think he deserves a driving ban as he made one genuine mistake which he won't do again but DH seems to think if the DS does not get banned it makes a mockery of the legal system.

AIBU to lenient on my friends DS?

I'm dyspraxic. I'm sure people would describe me as cynical, amusing and sarcastic a long time before they'd choose the word lovely.

Still never managed to have a head on crash though, which is the matter at hand.

(and honestly, even though the "never overtaken anything" is likely bullshit, it's also really unhealthy to think you can get away with only doing SOME bits of driving)

Presumably the CPS/Police will decide what happens next. Nothing anyone else can do. He made a bad mistake (these things happen). Presumably no one died so it's not as bad as it could have been. It doesn't really matter that he's never done it before and says he'll never do it again. The time he did do it he crashed. He just needs to get on with whatever happens next. I assume as soon as police have completed the investigations into the circumstances of the accident they will be in touch. Then he needs to accept the punishment (presumably) handed out to him.

He made a mistake and got caught. It is what it is. Friends saying oh it's not fair etc etc are really not helpful in these situations.

@Theythinkitsalloveritisnow

I do feel the bit about him never having overtaken anything other than a cyclist before in 5 years of driving like the fact that drink drivers are always caught the very first time they've ever done it

I was thinking exactly this.

As awful as it sounds, imagine if the roles were reversed. Would you be saying the same if it was your friend's son who was hit by an oncoming car who couldn't judge the time it takes to overtake a bus?

I'm not saying prison - far from it - however, he definitely needs time away from driving.

Hope your friend's son and the other people involved make a speedy recovery :)

@LynetteScavo

Being a lovely and well behaved young man and overtaking a bus, having mad a misjudgement are two different things.

I'm a grumpy old cow, but I don't think I would overtake a bus, because I can judge it probably isn't safe to do so, unless the bus is going increasingly slowly.

It won't be the overtaking of the bus per se that's the problem, more the place he chose to do it. I see people overtake dangerously all the time- doesn't matter what you're overtaking, it's things like overtaking before a hill or a blind dip when you can't see what's coming, or on a blind corner, that cause an issue.

I've overtaken countless buses, it's perfectly safe to do so if done correctly, but you've got to make sure nothing is coming first, and sometimes that does mean being stuck behind a slow moving vehicle for a few miles while waiting for an opportunity.

I am not sure why this is worth getting into a disagreement with your husband about?

@ADialgaAteMyDog

Driving offences are treated very leniently in this country, I doubt he'll get a custodial sentence. It is a lesson in the fact that every time you get in your car you are in charge of a lethal weapon and should make all decisions with this in the forefront of your mind. He obviously couldn't see far enough down the road to make the decision to overtake, which I think is illegal on single carriageway roads anyway. Why do so many drivers think their journey is more important than others people's health and lives?

I agree sentencing is very light for driving offences.

Obviously I realise there is a question of intent, but there is a massive sentencing difference between murdering someone and killing them with dangerous driving.

Yet on the macro level, the person is equally dead if murdered of killed by DD.

I wish they would increase sentences.

Will the next drip feed be that he was driving his poorly pet to the vet's and so he was anxious to get there on time and have them treated?

He drove badly and now he has to take his lumps.

@walnutroaster

Sorry if it wasn't clear I should have worded it better but when the DS decided to overtake the bus the over side of the road was clear no car coming however the DS underestimated how long it takes to overtake a bus and a car appeared on the other side when was already overtaking and the other car was driving very fast.

Still you're defending the indefensible! He wasn't clear to overtake if another vehicle can suddenlyl appear.

Dash cams, on YouTube has plenty of videos of drivers overtaking unnecessary and some very risky too.

No way in 5 years has he never ever overtaken another vehicle - or else has potentially been driving dangerously for some time!

"he is fine and the passenger in the other car suffered minor injuries but are ok"

Minor physical injuries possibly, but surely mental injuries from being involved in a head on car crash will be ongoing.

If he didn't have a clear view to overtake (which he can't of if he didn't see the oncoming car), didn't overtake at enough speed to actually overtake (driving alongside is dangerous!) and head on crashed into another car I don't think being "lovely" really factors in.

Your friends DS deserves to get points / a driving course / prosecution. Your DH is right!

godmum56
I am not sure why this is worth getting into a disagreement with your husband about

The Op’s husband is probably trying to prepare her for the fact that their son may well be prosecuted and the Op is having none of it.

@walnutroaster

I forgot to add in my OP that my friends DS is dyspraxic but I don't know if it is relevant at all to what he did.

YABVVVU

FFS

That sounds like a really horrid thing to happen. We all make errors of judgement. If that was my DD or one of her friends, I think I would hope to realise that they're young(ish), haven't been driving that long and possibly made a one-off foolish error. I am truly sorry to those who have lost people dear to them through driving accidents though..I don't intend to trivialise it, and I also understand that my feelings would be very different if one of my children was hit innocently coming in the other direction. There is no easy answer.

@Iwant2move

My husband was killed when a car overtook him.

I am so sorry to hear that

What has any possible leniency got to do with you?
Mind your own business.
I've dealt with fatal road traffic collisions from this exact manoeuvre.Everyone involved was very fortunate in this instance.
He made a decision,risking lives he has to allow the due procedure to take its course.
Your post is ridiculous.

this is about your son isn't op?

I would like him to be dealt with very seriously, dangerous driving. At least a ban could/should warrant more lessons. Head on collision!!!

He absolutely should be banned. He absolutely has overtaken more than a bicycle in 5 years. He made the choice to undertake a very dangerous move and is lucky he isn’t facing a death by dangerous driving charge. He has impacted both the driver of the bus, and the driver of the other car. That driver will find it very hard to get behind the wheel again and will have even traumatised by the accident.

A friend of mine, loveliest young lad I knew, took his friends home on a night out, was showing off and rolled his car. All of his passengers walked away from the crash, except one who hadn’t been wearing a seatbelt. That lad suffered life changing injuries. Friends and family around my friend tried to put the responsibility on to the lad for not wearing his seatbelt. He was convinced he wasn’t to blame and would get off with a minor offence. He was found guilty of dangerous driving and sentenced to 6 months. He served 3 months. Only then did he realise how serious it all was and as far as I know, he hasn’t even had a speeding ticket since.

This whole "he's such a lovely lad" narrative is why Brock Turner got such a lenient sentence.

Car Accidents are very very rarely truly accidental and in the vast majority of cases due to negligence. Negligence doesn’t have to be intentional but he showed that he didn’t care for the consequences of his poorly executed manoeuvre and hadn’t followed the rules of the road. He took a chance and failed.

He hurt someone with his negligent driving. He was lucky he didn’t kill anyone with his negligent driving.

Being dyspraxic is irrelevant - if he was capable of passing his test then he met the threshold of being a competent driver & displayed an understanding of the rules of the road but he did not maintain that threshold and did not respect the rules.

Blaming a slow bus and a car appearing from nowhere while he’s on the wrong side of the road while emphasising what a lovely boy he is won’t make a blind bit of difference. The reality is he was negligent, he caused a head on collision and he needs to face the consequences, that only the judicial system can decide upon.

Lesson learned I’d hope.

Can’t he book into The Priory for a couple of weeks, go to Turkey and get his teeth whitened then perhaps have some family time in the beach photographed and put up on Facebook? That should work.

How nice he is is totally irrelevant

Most drivers have done something dangerous like this. Fortunately , more by luck than judgement we’ve come out unscathed and no one has been harmed.
I drove home from work one day and could see the tire marks I’d left that morning after braking hard just before a roundabout when I didn’t see a car who had right of way until the last second. I was jolly lucky.

The lad will go through due process and may be banned for a while. The main thing is nobody was seriously injured.

When I was at school, a fellow sixth-former mis-judged whether there was time to overtake. He and two of his passengers were killed. I think the verdict was that a more experienced driver would not have overtaken there, but I think most people understood that he was not intentionally reckless.

I don't know to what extent inexperience* is taken into account when deciding whether to charge and what with, but at least in this case nobody was badly hurt.

*and five years may be relatively experienced - it depends whether he has been driving ever since he learned or not.