Page 6 | Friend's DS might be prosecuted for dangerous driving

Theimpossiblegirl · 30/12/2021 22:13

Of course you can be sad for him. It's gutting. It only takes one wrong decision to be catastrophic, he was very light.

Thankfully no-one was seriously hurt and he has the opportunity to learn from his mistake.

He'll probably get a fine and points. He'll hopefully be a better driver in the future.

Theimpossiblegirl · 30/12/2021 22:14

*lucky

sallyisstarstruck · 30/12/2021 22:16

A few days before Christmas 5 years ago I was on my way to work. A car on the wrong side of the road crashed in to my car. I ended up in a ditch. Car was written off and I had leg, back and chest injuries. I needed physio and it took months to get back to normal physically. The police took no action against the other driver. Your DS will be fine.

Stuckhere2021 · 30/12/2021 22:16

@Magnited

Can’t he book into The Priory for a couple of weeks, go to Turkey and get his teeth whitened then perhaps have some family time in the beach photographed and put up on Facebook? That should work.

@Magnited I was going to say the same! He should change his name to Katie Price and all will be well.

2bazookas · 30/12/2021 22:18

With luck he'll get charged and convicted then face such high insurance rates he'll feel the pain for years. Face limits on certain employments.

I've no sympathy whatever for dangerous drivers.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 30/12/2021 22:20

There is not one single person that hasn’t made a mistake when driving. Just some mistakes are worse and more dangerous than others.

I have no idea about legislation but if dangerous driving is it, then it’s a tough lesson to learn.

Both you and his mum need to stop minimising what happened though. Neither of you can possibly know it was the ‘only time’ he has ever overtaken someone what a daft thing to claim. He needs to own up to this error, stop making excuses and take the punishment like a man.

whatwasIgoingtosay · 30/12/2021 22:22

Friend's son killed himself doing this. Luckily, he didn't kill anyone else. No matter how 'lovely' individual young men are, when they get behind the wheel of a car they are more likely than other drivers to be reckless and drive dangerously.

Hydrate · 30/12/2021 22:25

Probably.

Hydrate · 30/12/2021 22:27

Sorry, ^ posted here accidently.

Allycott · 30/12/2021 22:28

@Theythinkitsalloveritisnow

I do feel the bit about him never having overtaken anything other than a cyclist before in 5 years of driving like the fact that drink drivers are always caught the very first time they've ever done it

What all of them?

NamechangeApril21 · 30/12/2021 22:29

@SalveVagina

As PP have said, you being lenient or otherwise has nothing to do with the price of fish, OP.

The very nicest, sweetest people can kill people by doing something very stupid in a car. If it were one of my own DC, I would still want them to pay heavily for this. Prison isn't the answer - but a driving ban for X years might be. They should also do some kind of work with people whose family members have been killed by other careless drivers - any "lovely and well behaved young [wo]man" should surely think twice about doing anything like that again if they had to meet and hear from people whose lives have been completely and utterly wrecked by someone else's "little misjudgement". Preferably with pictorial evidence of the injuries caused by said "mistake".

This

Miserablebitch · 30/12/2021 22:29

Op, I was in a car accident that wasn’t my fault. The other driver just came out of a junction, not stopping at the Stop Sign. I was only doing 50mph but couldn’t stop. I automatically swerved to try and avoid the other car, but it hit me side on pushing me up a verge, through a telegraph pole and I ended up facing back the way I came. The police in attendance said that I was lucky to survive, as had the telegraph pole not been rotten, it could have been much more serious.

The other driver, a young woman, had already had 2 previous accidents! She walked away without a scratch, while I ended up in hospital after being cut out of my car! I went from working full time as a frontline nurse and regularly taking part in sport to now being unable to walk without a stick (and even then only short distances), unable to work, on very strong painkillers (Morphine, Duloxetine, Pregabalin) with nasty side effects and now registered as disabled!

The police recommended that she be prosecuted, but the Crown Prosecution Service decided not to! The punishment often doesn’t fit the crime, therefore if my case is anything to go by I doubt your friends ds will be charged.

GrainOfSalt · 30/12/2021 22:32

My brother in law was hit head on by someone doing the same thing, the other guy said he a mistake, thought it was ok, didn't mean to yadda yadda. Two years on BIL is still having operations (one of them delayed 11 months because of covid which has delayed other ops and legal stuff), physio, dealing with compensation (which will never actually compensate for what happened), was unable to continue in the job he was doing, and we are all dealing with the consequences of his head injury and PTSD. Your DH is right. He could have killed someone.

amusedbush · 30/12/2021 22:32

@walnutroaster

I forgot to add in my OP that my friends DS is dyspraxic but I don't know if it is relevant at all to what he did.

I am also dyspraxic. This means my spatial awareness is worse than the average person, my coordination is clumsy and it can be difficult to judge distance/time etc. For this reason, I have an automatic licence to minimise the number of things I need to do with my hands and feet and I am a very careful driver. If I'm not quite sure about a gap/manoeuvre, I take a moment until I am sure and the people behind me can just wait an extra few seconds. I don't speed and I don't overtake until I'm sure. This is how I keep myself, my passenger(s) and everyone else on the road safe.

Your friend's DS was reckless and it sounds like you're trying to use his disability as a get out of jail free card, which is an insult to the rest of us who drive carefully with a disability.

And btw, my brother was done for driving without due care and attention just for rolling into someone in gridlocked traffic and cracking their reg plate. A head-on collision driving on the wrong side of the road is a bit more serious than that.

lborgia · 30/12/2021 22:39

I am so sorry OP, you are obviously truly upset by this, and I can understand the temptation to justify his behaviour. I can imagine doing this myself, it just seems to fly in the face of what you know about someone.

It may well be that the other car was driving over the limit, because in theory if the boy (man) that you know felt it was completely clear, the fact that the other car suddenly appeared would imply that maybe they were going at great speed.

I can completely believe that your friend’s DS hadn’t done anything like this before because otherwise he would’ve known that it takes a lot longer to overtake than one might imagine.

I cannot clearly imagine why they didn’t both have time to do an emergency stop, it must’ve been very last minute.

Having said all that, your friend’s son made a huge mistake, and you have to acknowledge that it doesn’t matter WHY it happened, just that it did. He was on the wrong side of the road. He was not competent to get out of the situation/or was physically not able to get out of the situation. He should not have attempted this move.

It may have been an accident, as in “he didn’t mean it”, but it was still his fault.

I understand the argument with your DH. He is taking a very logical approach, you cannot help feeling emotional. I’d stop trying to make him see your view, which is pretty much untenable, and maybe find a quiet spot to feel how you feel. You won’t get much support from anyone, and I know it’s a shock, but it is one of the incredibly hard things about having adults as children.

They make terrible mistakes, they suffer the consequences. Sometimes they die. It’s awful.

Take care, and look after your close friend. Please don’t support her in the “it’s not fair” pit of sadness if he gets punished, it doesn’t help her in the long run. Or him. You can understand her sadness, and shock, but the idea that he is being hard done by is simply not true, and he will be a better man for facing the consequences, rather than having a “Mummy” who spends the rest of his life telling him he shouldn’t have to deal with the consequences like everyone else.

PS my closest friend at 16 was killed in a similar situation, hence my interest.

jcyclops · 30/12/2021 22:39

First time driving in nearly 5 years that he has overtaken anything other than a cyclist
.... so he has a 100% history of crashing when overtaking, and others in the area where he lives will be safer if he is banned.

Many buses have external CCTV so the police may already have good evidence of the bad driving.

Even if the charges are lenient, he will be paying for this for years with increased insurance premiums - which could be massive in the early years.

Allycott · 30/12/2021 22:40

@ListeningButNotHearing

Live by the sword die by the sword. He was lucky he didn't kill someone or leave them with life-changing injuries. The best thing for him would be to be charged so that he realizes the potential severity of what he did and who knows the punishment might even save his own life in the future.

Live by the sword die by the sword. Interesting. A few years ago there was an almighty collision of I think about three or four vehicles just outside Birmingham city centre. I believe some young lads were racing.performance cars and hit a black cab. Occupants of several vehicles suffered fatal injuries. Are we saying the lads who caused the crash got to their come.uppance?

MichelleScarn · 30/12/2021 22:42

@Allycott theythink is rightly being facetious here, "honest Officer I've never done this before'...

HalzTangz · 30/12/2021 22:45

@walnutroaster

Hi I've name changed for this as I don't want my other posts linked to this. My very close friends DS who is in his early 20's was recently involved in a car accident, he is fine and the passenger in the other car suffered minor injuries but are ok.

Friends DS caused the accident as he decided to overtake a bus which was going quite slow, when he over took the bus the other side was clear but when he was overtaking the bus a car came in the other direction and unfortunately he didn't have enough time to get around the bus and he crashed head on in to the car. Her DS is obviously at fault and I'm not trying to excuse what he did. Friends DS said this was the first time driving in nearly 5 years that he has overtaken anything over than a cyclist.

Friend insisted her DS made a genuine mistake and is the first mistake he has made driving, I know I might sound like I am excusing the DS but he is such a lovely and well behaved young man so I genuinely believe he made a one off mistake which he will never make aging. Her DS has said he will never overtake a vehicle again, I don't believe he is a threat to other road users.

Friends DS is scared he is going to get prosecuted for dangerous driving, my DH seems to think he should be charged as he could have killed someone and I need to stop having such a soft spot for him. I said to DH I don't think he deserves a driving ban as he made one genuine mistake which he won't do again but DH seems to think if the DS does not get banned it makes a mockery of the legal system.

AIBU to lenient on my friends DS?

He is lying

He would have seen the other car which wouldn't have been far away whilst overtaking a slow moving bus.

It won't have been the first time he overtakes either.

Sorry your husband is right, he deserves to be charged, he pulled a dangerous move that could have killed someone.

He should also be banned

BronwenFrideswide · 30/12/2021 22:45

@Xanorra

«this was the first time driving in nearly 5 years that he has overtaken anything over than a cyclist.» «Her DS has said he will never overtake a vehicle again» Regardless of the outcome, if what he says is true he needs more training. A good driver should be able to judge when it is safe to overtake another vehicle.

Exactly this. He clearly can't judge speed, distance and visibility well enough to contemplate overtaking therefore he is not a safe driver. If he cannot judge or complete an overtaking manoeuvre safely then he shouldn't be on the road and just saying he will drive and never overtake again doesn't make him any safer.

What's he going to do in future? Crawl along behind a slow moving vehicle and create a tailback of traffic, causing vehicles who want to pass to have to pass two slow moving vehicles in one manoeuvre rather than just one? If that's what he's thinking of doing he'd be better off not on the road.

LaChanticleer · 30/12/2021 22:45

has said he will never overtake a vehicle again, I don't believe he is a threat to other road users. Friends DS is scared he is going to get prosecuted for dangerous driving, my DH seems to think he should be charged as he could have killed someone and I need to stop having such a soft spot for him. I said to DH I don't think he deserves a driving ban as he made one genuine mistake which he won't do again but DH seems to think if the DS does not get banned it makes a mockery of the legal system.

My mother had life-changing injuries and lifelong chronic pain after being hit by a fuckwit driver overtaking a bus.

I hope they throw the book at this young man, but mostly drivers get off lightly.

IMO, the best way to murder someone would be to pretend it’s a car “accident.”

EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 30/12/2021 22:45

I've never forgotten the case of a driver who killed someone on a pedestrian crossing (lights in pedestrian's favour) and did it by overtaking 2 cars that had stopped for the lights.

No ban. iirc, possibly a fine. The family never got over it and couldn't lose the feeling that the (perceived) leniency was because the woman who'd been hit had learning disabilities.

AsYouWishButtercup · 30/12/2021 22:46

If this was a good friend I’d honestly just support her, it’s not her fault and she will be going through hell. Good friends don’t get all judgmental and righteous, they’re just there for their friends when they need someone

NannaMcPhoo · 30/12/2021 22:49

Sorry if it wasn't clear I should have worded it better but when the DS decided to overtake the bus the over side of the road was clear no car coming however the DS underestimated how long it takes to overtake a bus and a car appeared on the other side when was already overtaking and the other car was driving very fast

None of this matters. The simple fact of the matter is that the location was not suitable for overtaking the bus. Yes the other car might have been going too fast but this is a factor that should have been considered.

If you cannot see that your friends son was at fault here then you should not be driving either.

mumofEandE · 30/12/2021 22:51

@Bellyups

I hope he is prosecuted.

This.