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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend's DS might be prosecuted for dangerous driving

250 replies

walnutroaster · 30/12/2021 20:41

Hi I've name changed for this as I don't want my other posts linked to this. My very close friends DS who is in his early 20's was recently involved in a car accident, he is fine and the passenger in the other car suffered minor injuries but are ok.

Friends DS caused the accident as he decided to overtake a bus which was going quite slow, when he over took the bus the other side was clear but when he was overtaking the bus a car came in the other direction and unfortunately he didn't have enough time to get around the bus and he crashed head on in to the car. Her DS is obviously at fault and I'm not trying to excuse what he did. Friends DS said this was the first time driving in nearly 5 years that he has overtaken anything over than a cyclist.

Friend insisted her DS made a genuine mistake and is the first mistake he has made driving, I know I might sound like I am excusing the DS but he is such a lovely and well behaved young man so I genuinely believe he made a one off mistake which he will never make aging. Her DS has said he will never overtake a vehicle again, I don't believe he is a threat to other road users.

Friends DS is scared he is going to get prosecuted for dangerous driving, my DH seems to think he should be charged as he could have killed someone and I need to stop having such a soft spot for him. I said to DH I don't think he deserves a driving ban as he made one genuine mistake which he won't do again but DH seems to think if the DS does not get banned it makes a mockery of the legal system.

AIBU to lenient on my friends DS?

OP posts:
HalzTangz · 30/12/2021 22:52

@walnutroaster

Sorry if it wasn't clear I should have worded it better but when the DS decided to overtake the bus the over side of the road was clear no car coming however the DS underestimated how long it takes to overtake a bus and a car appeared on the other side when was already overtaking and the other car was driving very fast.
Doesn't matter what speed the other car was doing, they were in the correct lane
nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 30/12/2021 22:53

Bullshit. Anyone with half a brain knows that it's not a good idea to overtake long vehicles if you don't have to because of the time it takes to pass them.

Saying that he will never overtake anything again is just more proof that he isn't a good driver. Sometimes you have to overtake. If he isn't confident doing this safely then he needs more lessons.

He drove on the wrong side of the road into oncoming traffic and hit someone. He is lucky everyone walked away. If he gets banned so be it.

Candied · 30/12/2021 22:57

My brother ended up dead in a field due to a stupid driver who overlook on a bend. I have no sympathy for drivers making ‘mistakes’. Yes he should be charged and I hope they revoke his license too and make him take more lessons and another test.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 30/12/2021 22:58

this was the first time driving in nearly 5 years that he has overtaken anything over than a cyclist ... (he) said he will never overtake a vehicle again

To borrow that old quote, "Well he would say that wouldn't he?", especially if it gets him sympathy from the sort who seem to feel a head on collision counts for nothing against him being "a lovely boy"

The only good news is that, after this, his insurance may be so extortionate that it'll put him off the road for a while - time which everyone could use to examine their attitudes around this

ChrimboGateauxCatto · 30/12/2021 22:58

Crikey. The leading cause of death in males under 25s is RTA's. Damn right he should be prosecuted if there is good reason.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 30/12/2021 22:58

If his dyspraxia affects his driving then legally he should have declared this to the DVLA and his insurance company. His insurance is then void and he has also committed fraud for not declaring it. I wouldn't try to use that as a defence if he wants his licence back one day.

Heck I think 2 counts of fraud and dangerous driving and driving with no insurance could probably carry a prison sentence. I'd stop digging if I were him.

IReallyLikeCrows · 30/12/2021 22:59

You can be as lenient as you like but the law is the law and he should be charged with dangerous driving. It doesn't matter that it's his "first mistake" that he's never done it before and will never do it again. The law doesn't work like that. Your husband is right, if people were let off because they were nice people then that would make an utter mockery of the law. Your friend's DS was lucky that the other driver only suffered minor injuries. The other driver could have been killed. Anyone could have been killed. If that had been the case would you still think that it's not fair that a nice young man has to pay the consequences for his first mistake?

I honestly understand why you feel protective toward him but you have to acknowledge that what he did was dangerous and if he is banned from driving he has only himself to blame and he should be grateful that his actions didn't result in the death of an innocent driver.

Sorrynotsorry2 · 30/12/2021 22:59

Op , in the nicest way possible get your head out of the sand .

Your "friends" ds may be the nicest person on the planet, he may shit rainbows for all we know .

But he broke the law , someone including himself could of Been killed.

What if he had killed someone? What would you say ?

Well he's a nice lad? He won't do it again?

Op, tell your friends son, he won't beat a bus.

He needs to deal with the consequences

OldKingCole · 30/12/2021 22:59

Is it a friends DS or your DS?

Candied · 30/12/2021 23:00

@walnutroaster

Sorry if it wasn't clear I should have worded it better but when the DS decided to overtake the bus the over side of the road was clear no car coming however the DS underestimated how long it takes to overtake a bus and a car appeared on the other side when was already overtaking and the other car was driving very fast.
I am so annoyed you even dared to post this. He overtook when he shouldn’t yet you’re defending him? No, just no. You cannot blame the driver who was on the right side of the road.
Puzzledandpissedoff · 30/12/2021 23:03

"First time driving in nearly 5 years that he has overtaken anything other than a cyclist"
.... so he has a 100% history of crashing when overtaking

Interesting point; I hadn't thought of it like that, but you're right of course

In which case, as you said, everyone else would be a lot safer without him on the road

Sally872 · 30/12/2021 23:03

I would not be worried about a ban. He was very lucky.

A ban may be safest thing for him. I would expect him to be extra cautious first time driving in 5 years. He has been very impatient and then acted dangerously.

I hope he gets some refresher driving lessons if he is allowed to keep driving.

TheAntiGardener · 30/12/2021 23:07

I saw a documentary years ago about a driving prosecution that has always stayed with me. One of the officers involved said driving was the only activity most of us are involved in that could see us end up facing prosecution or convicted of a criminal offence despite all our best intentions. I think this is where the ‘lovely young man’ thing comes in. We tend to think of crimes as being committed by people who are less than ‘nice’. Dishonest, violent, indifferent to other people. And some driving offences fall into that category too, obviously, but others are the product of awful errors of judgement and inexperience.

Like pps have said, it’s not up to you or anyone on here what will happen to this young man. We can all just hope that the process is fair and takes all the circumstances and different interests into account.

SofiaMichElf · 30/12/2021 23:08

If he's committed an offence he may be prosecuted. If so, and found guilty, he'll be punished accordingly.

It doesn't matter whether he single handedly saved an entire nursery full of children from a fire or mugged an old lady the day before. The driving offence will be looked at objectively according to evidence.

Your thinking is bizarre.

Midlifemusings · 30/12/2021 23:09

He may be a lovely young man but he showed very poor judgment in his driving decisions. It could be he has made other poorly judged decisions while driving, just without causing a collisions. Many people who make mistakes are not bad people, they have good intentions but have a lack of judgement and critical thinking that puts them in a bad situation.

I am sure he has overtaken many times before. Someone who is so skittish that they have never overtaken a vehicle in 5 years of driving doesn't start with a bus and without the line of vision to be sure the other side is clear for more than enough time to pass.

He likely will end up with a fine and some points and hopefully a refresher course. He also needs to take ownership of his lack of judgment. Driving mistakes don't leave much room for error - one mistake and people can be severely injured or dead.

viques · 30/12/2021 23:09

@Theythinkitsalloveritisnow

I do feel the bit about him never having overtaken anything other than a cyclist before in 5 years of driving like the fact that drink drivers are always caught the very first time they've ever done it Hmm
Precisely this. Buses are generally slow, but not that slow if you are driving through a built up area where the limit is 30 anyway, and they pull over and stop quite regularly, so someone overtaking averse would only have to drive behind them for a little while.

Bad driving, suck it up.

ancientgran · 30/12/2021 23:11

How do people on here know he was at fault? He might have had clear vision of a good stretch of road, started to overtake and a car appears doing 70 in a 30 mph zone and they collide. Or he might have misjudged it and it is totally his fault. No one here can know either way. The police have specially trained officers who can "read" the evidence, they don't just jump to conclusions.

OP the police will prepare the evidence and the CPS will decide if they will prosecute or not. Nothing you can do.

ancientgran · 30/12/2021 23:12

Just to add a colleague of mine was prosecuted in similar circumstances to above, she represented herself in court, produced photo evidence, argued her case and was acquitted so even if it goes to court he can still put his side.

Mamamamasaurus · 30/12/2021 23:15

If his dyspraxia prevents him from driving correctly and safely, he should be taken off the road.

He should be charged with, at the least, reckless or dangerous driving, IMO.

You're minimising his behaviour because 'he's a nice lad'. I'm sure the people in the other car, who potentially sustained life altering injuries, don't give a shiny shit that he's 'nice'. He could've killed someone's mother - brother - children - husband - wife. He deserves to be punished. He doesn't deserve someone making excuses for him.

WithANameLikeDaniCalifornia · 30/12/2021 23:15

AIBU to lenient on my friends DS?

What does this even mean? You’re not doing the sentencing.

Dogshitduty · 30/12/2021 23:20

We all know its your son, or you even. Quit the 'my friend' bullshit.

He could be the nicest lad in the world but he is a dangerous and shit driver and deserves the book to be thrown at him. Someone didn't die.. this time. A member of my family was killed in a similar way to this. That driver was a nice man too apparently but it doesn't excuse the fact he was driving dangerously

CambsAlways · 30/12/2021 23:20

He should be banned full stop, I don’t quite understand what his personality has got to do with anything! He had head on crash with another car! He was in the wrong!

iheartredsquirrels · 30/12/2021 23:21

it's strange op hasn't commented again. But I still think it's her ds at fault.

TrashyPanda · 30/12/2021 23:23

@Candied

My brother ended up dead in a field due to a stupid driver who overlook on a bend. I have no sympathy for drivers making ‘mistakes’. Yes he should be charged and I hope they revoke his license too and make him take more lessons and another test.
I’m so very sorry.
daimbarsatemydogsbone · 30/12/2021 23:33

@ADialgaAteMyDog

Driving offences are treated very leniently in this country, I doubt he'll get a custodial sentence. It is a lesson in the fact that every time you get in your car you are in charge of a lethal weapon and should make all decisions with this in the forefront of your mind. He obviously couldn't see far enough down the road to make the decision to overtake, which I think is illegal on single carriageway roads anyway. Why do so many drivers think their journey is more important than others people's health and lives?
Overtaking on single carriageway roads isn’t generally illegal - where did you get that idea?