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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Friend's DS might be prosecuted for dangerous driving

250 replies

walnutroaster · 30/12/2021 20:41

Hi I've name changed for this as I don't want my other posts linked to this. My very close friends DS who is in his early 20's was recently involved in a car accident, he is fine and the passenger in the other car suffered minor injuries but are ok.

Friends DS caused the accident as he decided to overtake a bus which was going quite slow, when he over took the bus the other side was clear but when he was overtaking the bus a car came in the other direction and unfortunately he didn't have enough time to get around the bus and he crashed head on in to the car. Her DS is obviously at fault and I'm not trying to excuse what he did. Friends DS said this was the first time driving in nearly 5 years that he has overtaken anything over than a cyclist.

Friend insisted her DS made a genuine mistake and is the first mistake he has made driving, I know I might sound like I am excusing the DS but he is such a lovely and well behaved young man so I genuinely believe he made a one off mistake which he will never make aging. Her DS has said he will never overtake a vehicle again, I don't believe he is a threat to other road users.

Friends DS is scared he is going to get prosecuted for dangerous driving, my DH seems to think he should be charged as he could have killed someone and I need to stop having such a soft spot for him. I said to DH I don't think he deserves a driving ban as he made one genuine mistake which he won't do again but DH seems to think if the DS does not get banned it makes a mockery of the legal system.

AIBU to lenient on my friends DS?

OP posts:

ChateauxNeufDePoop · 30/12/2021 21:02

@walnutroaster

Sorry if it wasn't clear I should have worded it better but when the DS decided to overtake the bus the over side of the road was clear no car coming however the DS underestimated how long it takes to overtake a bus and a car appeared on the other side when was already overtaking and the other car was driving very fast.

Even taking the emotion out of it you surely have to know how stupid you sound?

There wasn't a car until there was a car [there should be an eyeroll emoji]

HelloDulling · 30/12/2021 21:03

@Steelesauce

My ex went 60mph into a lamp post in a 30zone with 3 kids in the car not in car seats and got done for driving without due care and attention. 300quid fine and 4 points. He'll be fine.

Jesus Christ. That’s hideous.

purplecorkheart · 30/12/2021 21:03

Unless you or your DH are the Judge in the case, what either of you think is irrelevant.
To be honest, it sounds like he is in the wrong and whether it was his first time or not he did a dangerous move and is a very lucky man that he did not seriously injury or kill someone. Please remember he you your friends son. They may not be seeing things from and unbias viewpoint. You all need to let the court come to its decision. All your viewpoints are irrelevant.

YoBeaches · 30/12/2021 21:04

If the other vehicle 'suddenly appeared' then it's quite likely there were road markings or signs that If understood, would make it clear to a driver that it's not a safe section of the road to overtake.

The road markings could have even explicitly been marked as a no overtaking zone, hence the stronger charge of dangerous driving.

I don't think you have all the facts.

LawnFever · 30/12/2021 21:04

Your opinion is irrelevant tbh, and what you think should or shouldn’t happen doesn’t matter.

He made a serious error of judgement and going on about what a nice boy he is is making you sound ridiculous.

He’ll be charged with something, he deserves to be, saying anything else makes you sound ridiculous.

ADialgaAteMyDog · 30/12/2021 21:05

Driving offences are treated very leniently in this country, I doubt he'll get a custodial sentence.
It is a lesson in the fact that every time you get in your car you are in charge of a lethal weapon and should make all decisions with this in the forefront of your mind. He obviously couldn't see far enough down the road to make the decision to overtake, which I think is illegal on single carriageway roads anyway. Why do so many drivers think their journey is more important than others people's health and lives?

FestiveFuckery · 30/12/2021 21:05

@walnutroaster

You've worded it just fine. He either overtook where he didn't have clear visibility I.e before a blind bend or where there wasn't enough space between home and oncoming traffic. I don't care how nice he is. He is either stupid or dangerous and frankly I'd say both.

He will likely be fine because the police are quite shit but he is lucky he didn't kill someone. I hope your friend isn't pussyfooting around this like you are.

Cofifeefee · 30/12/2021 21:06

Like other posters have said,it's not up to you so it doesn't really matter what your opinion is.

He doesn't sound like a very good driver tbh - hasn't overtaken a car in 5 years of driving; underestimated his ability to overtake a bus and now thinks swearing off overtaking for the rest of his life is a good plan.

Grenlei · 30/12/2021 21:07

Most collisions are caused due to poor judgment. Sounds as though he misjudged the distance available to overtake, the visibility he had of oncoming traffic and also the acceleration of his own car.

It sounds as though it is a lesson learned. Most of us get to a point after a few years driving experience where we have a minor collision, often thankfully only involving a fixed object (mine was a scrape with a bollard), or a parked car. Unfortunately in this case the collision was more serious, 2 vehicles were damaged and someone injured. But it sounds as though he's massively regretting that error of judgment already and will learn some humility from it.

It would be unusual ime for the police to charge for dangerous driving in these circumstances; it could possibly amount to careless driving but collisions like this occur every day and the percentage where drivers are prosecuted is relatively small.

UnsuitableHat · 30/12/2021 21:08

It sounds like one of those things to me - an unfortunate misjudgement. He may get a ban and his insurance will be affected: I’m glad nobody was hurt.

andweallsingalong · 30/12/2021 21:08

Has he been interviewed / released under investigation / arrested / charged or is this all speculation?

How long ago?

If the police indicated they were thinking of charging him he could just ring up for an update on their investigation to see if its ongoing, awaiting a charging decision or dropped.

GiveMeNovocain · 30/12/2021 21:10

@FestiveFuckery in what way are the police shit when it comes to sentencing? The judge gives the sentence within legally set guidelines. The CPS decide what a person will be charged with (if anything). The police investigate and bring the evidence to the CPS. The sentence is nothing to do with them.

Itsalmostanaccessory · 30/12/2021 21:10

I was knocked over by a boy from the year above me at my school when I was 15.
He was speeding, showing off, being an idiot. He mounted the pavement deliberately to give us a fright but was going too fast and couldnt stop. Knocked me down.

Want to know what the policeman said? He said, "Well, he's a good boy from a good family." The police did nothing.

It's been 15 years and I still get physio for the injury.

When people make a decision whilst driving, that decision can have terrible consequences. Your friend's son made the decision to overtake without ensuring the way was clear. If there wasnt enough visibility then he shouldn't have even tried it. This was his decision. It could have killed someone. He needs to be punished to stop him, and others like him, from doing it again.

Iamkmackered1979 · 30/12/2021 21:10

Would you feel differently if people in the other car had been killed or seriously injured? There needs to be consequences and a deterrent t people driving like idiots where was he going that was so urgent he couldn’t wait for a bus to pull off? Too much wanting to be somewhere yesterday

ancientgran · 30/12/2021 21:12

Do they still do courses for people rather than points? I think people got offered them if it was the first offence. They seem like a good idea to me. I knew someone who did one for speeding, she was so upset about doing it but she said it taught her alot.

PGSTesting123 · 30/12/2021 21:12

You're really are a drip!
You're not the judge why are you trying to suggest a punishment in such detail?!
Your friend's DS serves to be jailed never mind banned.
When he crashes into you come back to this site and let us know your opinion then.

AngelonTopoftheTree · 30/12/2021 21:12

He didn't have enough visibility to know it was safe to overtake. He obviously isn't experienced enough a driver, no matter how nice he is.
As for never having overtaken anything other than a bicycle before I call bullshit!

Itsalmostanaccessory · 30/12/2021 21:13

@GiveMeNovocain

That poster never said anytbung about the police being shit at sentencing.

She said they are shit. And they can be.

They dont always investigate or submit evidence to the crown/procurator fiscal. They do sometimes just choose not to take any further action in incidents with no serious injury. You get a crime number and that's it. Nothing happens.

MichelleScarn · 30/12/2021 21:13

@Iwant2move

My husband was killed when a car overtook him.

Am so sorry Iwant.

Xanorra · 30/12/2021 21:13

«this was the first time driving in nearly 5 years that he has overtaken anything over than a cyclist.»
«Her DS has said he will never overtake a vehicle again»
Regardless of the outcome, if what he says is true he needs more training. A good driver should be able to judge when it is safe to overtake another vehicle.

Yarnivore · 30/12/2021 21:13

@ancientgran

They're only for speeding and not serious speeding offences or where the speeding caused harm or damage.

Georgeskitchen · 30/12/2021 21:13

" he could have killed someone"
But he didn't? Did he. Yes it was probably an unwise move and he will be punished by the magistrates. Possibly with a ban. I don't know. I don't have experience in legal.matters. Nothing wrong with giving him support. Doesn't mean anyone condones what he did!!

thedefinitionofmadness · 30/12/2021 21:14

"I don't think he deserves a driving ban as he made one genuine mistake which he won't do again "

Holy fuck

No you are wrong OP he should be banned. And take it on the chin.

ThirdElephant · 30/12/2021 21:14

@Iamkmackered1979

I see prison's purpose as rehabilitation rather than punishment. Spending loads of taxpayer money to keep someone who is already incredibly unlikely to reoffend behind bars is just pointless. And, tbh, if the idea of potentially killing someone isn't enough of a deterrent, the idea of a year or so behind bars won't be either. People who do make this sort of mistake aren't making a considered choice, weighing up pros and cons before they do it- it's just a bad judgement call.

Chloemol · 30/12/2021 21:14

Would you feel the same if he had killed the other driver?

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