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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend's DS might be prosecuted for dangerous driving

250 replies

walnutroaster · 30/12/2021 20:41

Hi I've name changed for this as I don't want my other posts linked to this. My very close friends DS who is in his early 20's was recently involved in a car accident, he is fine and the passenger in the other car suffered minor injuries but are ok.

Friends DS caused the accident as he decided to overtake a bus which was going quite slow, when he over took the bus the other side was clear but when he was overtaking the bus a car came in the other direction and unfortunately he didn't have enough time to get around the bus and he crashed head on in to the car. Her DS is obviously at fault and I'm not trying to excuse what he did. Friends DS said this was the first time driving in nearly 5 years that he has overtaken anything over than a cyclist.

Friend insisted her DS made a genuine mistake and is the first mistake he has made driving, I know I might sound like I am excusing the DS but he is such a lovely and well behaved young man so I genuinely believe he made a one off mistake which he will never make aging. Her DS has said he will never overtake a vehicle again, I don't believe he is a threat to other road users.

Friends DS is scared he is going to get prosecuted for dangerous driving, my DH seems to think he should be charged as he could have killed someone and I need to stop having such a soft spot for him. I said to DH I don't think he deserves a driving ban as he made one genuine mistake which he won't do again but DH seems to think if the DS does not get banned it makes a mockery of the legal system.

AIBU to lenient on my friends DS?

OP posts:
ancientgran · 30/12/2021 21:14

@Grenlei

Most collisions are caused due to poor judgment. Sounds as though he misjudged the distance available to overtake, the visibility he had of oncoming traffic and also the acceleration of his own car.

It sounds as though it is a lesson learned. Most of us get to a point after a few years driving experience where we have a minor collision, often thankfully only involving a fixed object (mine was a scrape with a bollard), or a parked car. Unfortunately in this case the collision was more serious, 2 vehicles were damaged and someone injured. But it sounds as though he's massively regretting that error of judgment already and will learn some humility from it.

It would be unusual ime for the police to charge for dangerous driving in these circumstances; it could possibly amount to careless driving but collisions like this occur every day and the percentage where drivers are prosecuted is relatively small.

It could also be that the driver coming the other way was going too fast. Impossible for us to know.
FestiveFuckery · 30/12/2021 21:15

@GiveMeNovocain I never said they were shit at sentencing. I simply said they were shit.

"He will likely be fine because the police are quite shit but he is lucky he didn't kill someone."

Dozer · 30/12/2021 21:16

A one off bad driving mistake by an otherwise good citizen is still an offence if it meets the criteria, and should be followed up as deemed appropriate by the police.

Hydrate · 30/12/2021 21:17

People need to pay for their mistakes. Thankfully nobody was killed.

Oblomov21 · 30/12/2021 21:18

I doubt he'll get any ban, any points, nothing.

Original poster
walnutroaster · 30/12/2021 21:18

I forgot to add in my OP that my friends DS is dyspraxic but I don't know if it is relevant at all to what he did.

OP posts:
shouldistop · 30/12/2021 21:20

@walnutroaster

I forgot to add in my OP that my friends DS is dyspraxic but I don't know if it is relevant at all to what he did.
If his disability makes it unsafe for him to drive then he shouldn't be driving.
Mayorquimby2 · 30/12/2021 21:20

"and a car appeared on the other side when was already overtaking and the other car was driving very fast."

So did he over take on a blind bend?

festivesprinkles · 30/12/2021 21:20

Stop making excuses for him.

shouldistop · 30/12/2021 21:20

He can still be a nice person and have made a mistake

ListeningButNotHearing · 30/12/2021 21:20

Live by the sword die by the sword.
He was lucky he didn't kill someone or leave them with life-changing injuries.
The best thing for him would be to be charged so that he realizes the potential severity of what he did and who knows the punishment might even save his own life in the future.

PGSTesting123 · 30/12/2021 21:21

No one cares about your friends DS.
You didn't get the response you wanted.
Stop giving more useless information.

CeleriacOfTheNight · 30/12/2021 21:21

Friends DS said this was the first time driving in nearly 5 years that he has overtaken anything over than a cyclist

If that's true, that actually makes him a very poor driver.

I think you should detach a little bit, forget arguing about it, your or your husbands opinion has zero impact on the outcome. You can do this, and still be a good friend to her whatever the consequence.

SalveVagina · 30/12/2021 21:21

As PP have said, you being lenient or otherwise has nothing to do with the price of fish, OP.

The very nicest, sweetest people can kill people by doing something very stupid in a car. If it were one of my own DC, I would still want them to pay heavily for this. Prison isn't the answer - but a driving ban for X years might be. They should also do some kind of work with people whose family members have been killed by other careless drivers - any "lovely and well behaved young [wo]man" should surely think twice about doing anything like that again if they had to meet and hear from people whose lives have been completely and utterly wrecked by someone else's "little misjudgement". Preferably with pictorial evidence of the injuries caused by said "mistake".

Itsalmostanaccessory · 30/12/2021 21:21

@walnutroaster

I forgot to add in my OP that my friends DS is dyspraxic but I don't know if it is relevant at all to what he did.
If it did affect his ability to react or make a judgement then it isnt a defence. It is further evidence that he should not be driving.

As unfair as that may be, it is for everyone's safety. If someone has a condition that makes it unsafe for them to drive because they cannot react then they should not drive.

Bettybantz · 30/12/2021 21:21

Let the CPS decide

MrsSkylerWhite · 30/12/2021 21:22

He misjudged it and will be treated accordingly. Hopefully, he’ll learn from it and become a safer driver.

I have always given way to buses (driving 30 years plus).

Vapeyvapevape · 30/12/2021 21:22

I would think loads of people that have caused road traffic accidents say that it was a mistake and they won’t do it again, blah blah blah , it doesn’t exempt them from prosecution.
You seem very naive of the law .

QueenJeanie · 30/12/2021 21:22

It's not up to you

Leave it

All the drip feeding in the world won't make any difference

MichelleScarn · 30/12/2021 21:22

Is this your friend's ds or yours? Why so bothered?

MrsGarethSouthgate · 30/12/2021 21:23

OP, I am a police officer. When did this occur, and did police attend or not?

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 30/12/2021 21:24

This is like when my sister ran into the back of someone. She insisted it wasn’t her fault because the other car stalled as it pulled out of the junction. I said you need to leave enough room to allow you to break in time. She insisted she had left enough space. Couldn’t explain how the front of her car touched the back of theirs if there was space between them. Hmm

PixiKitKat · 30/12/2021 21:24

I'm confused by this. Was the bus at a bus stop or was it moving? If the bus is stopped it takes a couple of seconds to overtake so how slow was he going?

Also if he's never overtaken anything other than cyclists then he needs more driving lessons. He clearly isn't a confident driver nor can he read the road correctly to over take safely.

Vapeyvapevape · 30/12/2021 21:24

Is this your son we’re talking about Op ?

Tokoloshe1900 · 30/12/2021 21:25

I think if you were the parent of the person who was injured, you would not be too happy.

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