SIL gone to panto when waiting for PCR result - oh yes she did!

[anotherannoyngSIL]

Name changed as I’ve been slated on here before for not allowing my SIL to do as she pleases.

Today I thought we’d made a positive turn as she has taken my older son and hers to the pantomime as I’ve got a broken leg (though she has made a big thing about helping out).

Unfortunately she’s just text me to say “BTW I’ve had a positive lateral and waiting on my PCR but decided to take the boys anyway as xxx (her son) was looking forward to it, I’m sure that’s fine”.

In which universe is that fine?? She’s risking not just my son, but the others she’s gone with and the whole audience!! She is very jealous if people do social things without her but surely there comes a time when sense is more important than FOMO?? I’m assuming she waited till she was there to tell me so I couldn’t do anything.

Husband says I’m being unreasonable for being annoyed as the rules aren’t clear cut and she hasn’t had the PCR test back.

AIBU for wanting to ban her as she’s so irresponsible and only really cares about herself?

@GaolBhoAlba you will actually find that that JCVI has recommended a vaccine rollout for children under 12, it just needs the formality of govt approval then can be rolled out.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/jcvi-update-on-advice-for-covid-19-vaccination-of-children-and-young-people/jcvi-statement-on-covid-19-vaccination-of-children-and-young-people-22-december-2021

Personally I think it's far better for people to get Omicron in school holidays and when many are on annual leave than disrupt schooling further and affect people's work/income.

Just try not to think too hard about the poor buggers working in the theatre, eh?

Live your life but stay on for 7 days if your test positive. It isn't rocket science. FFS
It's 7 days!

Bonnesvacances

I’ve read everyone of your posts and while I do feel sympathy for your daughters health struggles, I also feel your being just as selfish as the people arguing for no restrictions.

Your argument is she feels unable to go out after contracting severe Covid and in return you want restrictions lasting forever? Is that not selfish? Your asking people to curtail there lives for the sake of your dd. What about my children? They need to physically be at school for the sake of there mental health. They deserve to have happy childhoods without plans being cancelled because of Covid. It’s extremely difficult to explain to children with asd why plans they are excited for have to change with short notice.
The problem with the isolation rules is that it’s just dragging this out when it’s inevitable that it has to end eventually. So yes, I find what your asking just as selfish. Your dd’s needs do not trump my dc’s needs. We are all selfish in this and looking for what’s best for our own nearest and dearest.

@MrsBerthaRochester

Im sorry your daughter suffered. How telling that there is no such achknowlwdgement of my dcs suffering in your pompous reply.

It's not pompous. I have no idea why you had a mental breakdown or why your DC witnessed you being sectioned which lead to their trauma or any of the other background. So I felt that any reference to that would be trite, but I'm sorry that I didn't acknowledge it and that upset you as I know how it feels when people don't acknowledge your suffering. I wonder if you found that as upsetting as I've found your actual comments (not omissions) belittling living in fear and how the vulnerable are expendable so the majority can move forward?

Wow. A certain few posters on here are astonishing in their lack of understanding of anything, lack of compassion and sheer selfishness. But having looked into their posts a little further, I just feel pity for them.

However, I find it slightly astonishing that my post calling someone a fool for actively supporting spreading Covid was removed, but a post mocking a cancer patient as health anxious, stands, not to mention the ones encouraging the spread of Covid.

Also when people ‘leave’ threads and repeatedly come back, it’s probably time to put down the .

@namechanged15729

I dont think anyone is expecting restrictions forever. What we are saying is that going to a panto while knowing you are covid positive is not acceptable.
There are currently very few restrictions in place. Is it so hard to stay in if you are positive?
Giving examples of how much cev families are having to protect themselves does not mean we expect everyone to stay in but we do expect known positives to follow the isolation rules

@NameChanged15729

Bonnesvacances

I’ve read everyone of your posts and while I do feel sympathy for your daughters health struggles, I also feel your being just as selfish as the people arguing for no restrictions.

Your argument is she feels unable to go out after contracting severe Covid and in return you want restrictions lasting forever? Is that not selfish? Your asking people to curtail there lives for the sake of your dd. What about my children? They need to physically be at school for the sake of there mental health. They deserve to have happy childhoods without plans being cancelled because of Covid. It’s extremely difficult to explain to children with asd why plans they are excited for have to change with short notice.
The problem with the isolation rules is that it’s just dragging this out when it’s inevitable that it has to end eventually. So yes, I find what your asking just as selfish. Your dd’s needs do not trump my dc’s needs. We are all selfish in this and looking for what’s best for our own nearest and dearest.

Excuse me? Where have I said I want restrictions lasting forever? Quite the leap to infer that I want to stop children from attending school just so mine can live.

Agree, my child's needs don't trump yours. But if still wearing a mask, testing and following the law by not going to an indoor space while positive with Covid allows mine to have any life at all, instead of no life, why would you be against that? Is that what you mean by restrictions? And that my wanting people to not wilfully and knowingly transmit Covid is wanting restrictions to last forever?

Genuinely cannot fathom this. I'd like people to act responsibly and with consideration so everyone has a chance at staying safe. But you'd rather they didn't have to do that and as a result those at risk have nothing at all or take their chances. Have I understood that right? Is that your position?

BonnesVacances no that is not my position. I have stated a few times now that my household had Covid early December and we all isolated. All double/triple vaxxed apart from the children because they are too young. They will be when allowed though. We wear masks and do what we can to stop the spread.

What I’m asking is where does it end? You don’t want restrictions forever but how much longer? What needs to change for life to carry on? Personally it feels like the majority of people have followed the rules but if anything things seem to be going backwards. I’m in Wales. Nightclubs are closed, the rule of six is back, queuing and one way systems are back in supermarkets. I’m now living in fear that my children’s school will close next. It’s easy to say restrictions won’t last forever but there needs to be a plan in place to get us out of them now because following the rules doesn’t seem to be working!

@NameChanged15729

BonnesVacances no that is not my position. I have stated a few times now that my household had Covid early December and we all isolated. All double/triple vaxxed apart from the children because they are too young. They will be when allowed though. We wear masks and do what we can to stop the spread.

What I’m asking is where does it end? You don’t want restrictions forever but how much longer? What needs to change for life to carry on? Personally it feels like the majority of people have followed the rules but if anything things seem to be going backwards. I’m in Wales. Nightclubs are closed, the rule of six is back, queuing and one way systems are back in supermarkets. I’m now living in fear that my children’s school will close next. It’s easy to say restrictions won’t last forever but there needs to be a plan in place to get us out of them now because following the rules doesn’t seem to be working!

Where does it end? Who knows? But the exit plan isn't we've had enough now, so let's just stop and get on with it and back in your box if you're CEV. Hospital outcomes are improving, but we still don't have a functioning health care system due to overload, both from hospital admissions and the demand for secondary care from Long Covid, which will continue to increase as more people are infected.

I can't believe that you didn't even bother to speak to her when she dropped off your DS. So she didn't bother to tell you when she picked him up, she then texted you, and didn't come to the door when she she dropped him off. By not telling her what you think you are condoning her behaviour. You really should be telling her how outraged you are, not us! I hope your DS is ok.

If Omicron was avoidable, I'd say your SIL was totally irresponsible.

Unfortunately, for those children and adults who are immunocompromised, it WILL be a case of either shielding indefinitely or accepting a level of risk.

I appreciate and sympathise that it's a very difficult position to be in. It's not fair. Not is it something anyone would want for themselves or their family.

But that doesn't change the facts. Which is; Omicron is unavoidable. It is circulating and is becoming endemic. Overall, this is positive as it's far safer than Delta. But yes, it's still not ideal.

Getting people to isolate for 7-10 days isn't justifiable anymore. It won't stop the spread.

The sooner everyone gets it, the sooner people can build up Tcell immunity and be more assured that it won't cause serious harm.

Yes, some MAY get long Covid, but that's not anyone's fault. And there are no viable ways of containing the virus so we HAVE to live with it.

It's not an ideal scenario but nor is isolation and the effects that has on healthcare, education, employment etc.

@BonnesVacances

I'm not sure, from reading your posts, that you are up to date with your knowledge on Omicron (which is now the dominant variant in UK and lots of other countries and will be around the world soon).

It's endemic. That means, it's staying for a long while. It's highly contagious but shown to be very mild.

There IS a cost to isolating. Good luck getting non-urgent operations. Enjoy remote GP appointments. Events and bookings are being cancelled last minute due to staff isolating. The quality of schooling will be lowered due to isolating teachers.

It can't continue. Not while the risk to most people, including the vulnerable, is very low. We have vaccines and we thankfully have a safer variant. Now I was my NHS back, schooling to be back and life for everyone to return to normal.

Genuinely cannot fathom this. I'd like people to act responsibly and with consideration so everyone has a chance at staying safe. But you'd rather they didn't have to do that and as a result those at risk have nothing at all or take their chances. Have I understood that right? Is that your position?

I find this very difficult to understand too @BonnesVacances. So many people willfully 'misunderstanding' posts and declaring that you must want eternal restrictions and lockdowns if you say that it's a reasonable expectation for people to continue to be cautious for now, while cases are rising again, (not lockdowns etc) for the benefit of others. No one actually wants this shit to carry on, but it's easier to try to make you sound unreasonable and hysterical rather than show any kind of empathy.

Some of the comments on this thread show that there are some people who genuinely do not give a shit about anyone else and unfortunately, that won't change.

Having to change your plans at the last minute because you have asymptomatic covid is a restriction though. It means you can never truly plan anything. It means absolutely everything you plan is subject to cancellation at the last minute. I don’t want to live like that forever. I don’t want that to be my children’s childhoods.

I wouldn’t have done what the SIL did. I follow the law. But I don’t want this to be the law forever.

Friendshipsarehardforme you have pretty much summarised how I feel about it all.

At the end of the day continuing this madness might be somewhat protecting the cev but it’s at a cost to so many other people. Children with disabilities, people feeling isolated with poor mental health, people losing there jobs... not being able to survive on repeated statutory sick pay. It’s not ok to just sweep it all under ‘the pandemic doesn’t end because people have had enough ’. It won’t end. Covid isn’t going anywhere and it’s always going to be a threat to vulnerable people. Unfortunately those vulnerable people do not trump the rights of everybody else.

@Marianne1234

Fuck right off with the selfish chat. It has been two years. We have sacrificed plenty. It’s not selfish to want to carry on with your life. It’s entirely normal and understandable. Stop trying to demonise people for this.

But it is selfish to go out contagious with covid symptoms, positive LFT waiting for PCR test result.

People should get on with their lives but not deliberately infect others with contagious disease by failing to follow public health guidance. In this instance, I hope police fine this woman as I doubt it'd be hard to get proof she attended theatre whilst waiting for PCR result.

@NameChanged15729

Friendshipsarehardforme you have pretty much summarised how I feel about it all.

At the end of the day continuing this madness might be somewhat protecting the cev but it’s at a cost to so many other people. Children with disabilities, people feeling isolated with poor mental health, people losing there jobs... not being able to survive on repeated statutory sick pay. It’s not ok to just sweep it all under ‘the pandemic doesn’t end because people have had enough ’. It won’t end. Covid isn’t going anywhere and it’s always going to be a threat to vulnerable people. Unfortunately those vulnerable people do not trump the rights of everybody else.

Yep. My child has a developmental delay. We are getting zero help for it, partly due to Covid restrictions.

I was all for Covid restrictions whilst the virus presented a real risk to people.

But the pros of isolating no longer outweigh the cons.

People need to rethink WHY we are doing something. Not just go along with the status quo.

People are saying "wait until we know more". Why?!?! We have the data. It's from credible sources. What are we now waiting for?!

It’s entirely normal for people to want their lives to go back to normal. It’s not selfish to want that. I wouldn’t do what the SIL has done but it’s not right to demonise people for wishing things could go back to normal. That’s what I’m trying to say.

I was all for Covid restrictions whilst the virus presented a real risk to people.

But the pros of isolating no longer outweigh the cons.

@FriendshipsAreHardForMe can I ask, genuinely, not in an inflammatory way, does that mean that you don't believe that people should isolate if they have CoVID?

@Marianne1234 isn't that what everyone wishes for though? Don't we all, even those with differing views at the moment, want CoVID to go away and for lives to return to normal?

@chaosrabbitland you can't see how it's goady to say things like "running around like a hysteric"? Then I think you are proving my point.

But when’s that going to happen Hex? Is there a point at which this will not be dangerous for the CEV? I mean what’s the solution to this?