DS wasted his christmas money

[katkitty]

Ds got a lot of nice presents and was given about 200 in cash from family for christmas which he deposited into his bank. I was hoping he'd spend it on a big in-person item that he's wanted for a while or save it but he has told us he's gone and spent it on virtual items on an online game that he's currently obssesed with. Whenever he gets a bit of money he spends it. He's had a lot growing up so it's not as if he's gone without. Typically these interests don't last and that's a lot of money to blow on something that doesn't even exist and I feel like I've failed as a parent that he thought it was an acceptable thing to do. I wouldn't mind if it was only some of it but it was the whole lot. I've always advised him it's not a good idea to spend so much money on these online games and I thought he understood. He's old enough to understand the value of money (he's a teenager). Maybe I'm being far fetched but I don't want him to grow up, waste all his income and still be living at home in his 30's. Is there a way to teach him a lesson (not a punishment)

I suppose next time he asks for some fancy ass sneakers, you could say no and mention he could have bought them himself with his Xmas money. I’d be disappointed to, but it’s his to waste.
One of mine likes to buy Robux with his pocket money but I set a limit to once a month and no more than $20

I can see why you’re upset but you haven’t failed. I guess it’s his money, and he will suffer natural consequences as he won’t be able to buy anything else with it now.

It’s his money.
He decided to spend it online and it’s his choice

Why is it a waste of money? It's him spending his money on things he wants?

Im interested in your situation op. Mine are too young to make that choice but I want to set up the financial situation in our house so they are motivated not to do that. Not sure how though.

How old is he?

How old?

17

I guess id try and have a grown up chat and after id done that nicely id stop buying the extras.

Well you can certainly tell him now he'll be moving out when 18 and not moving back, so that would ensure your latter worry doesn't come true! Does he earn money yet OP? I think at his age it's fine to be frivolous if his basic needs are met and it sounds like they are if he's living at home and (presumably) at sixth form...

17?!?

Nah leave him be.

He's 17. It's his money. When it's gone, it's gone, so leave him to it.

17?! I was thinking he must be 13!

What is he currently expected to pay for himself, and where does his money come from?

It’s not a waste if he’s got something he wants for it. My kids spend lots on online games, it’s their money to spend.

He's 17 and it was his money to do as he pleased with. Leave him be.

Does he have a separate savings account? I disagree with people saying it's his money. My parents really encouraged us to save Christmas and birthday money and because of that my sister and I both managed to buy property in London in our 20s.

He’ll only end up living with you into his 30s if you let him! :)

Instead of trying to set him rules for how he spends his money, focus on setting your own for your own money/life. Don’t bail him out if he wants something else and you don’t want to - let him feel the natural consequences of his actions and he’ll soon course-correct and find his own balance.

I’ve done this with my boy and it’s taken quite a few ‘failures’ - wasted money on things that break easily or impulse buys, or running out of money for things he wants etc - but he’s learning from these mistakes and beginning to understand for himself what a wise buy is. I think it’s a much deeper lesson if you let them learn for themselves even though it’s sometimes hard to sit through my worry/need to control or ‘save’ him from his mistakes!

He sounds like he'll be very succeptable to gambling when older. I would worry about that.

You're right it's a total waste of money.

@cruffin You either had aLOT of birthday money or you're significantly older than me, probably 50+

I think at 17 it really depends on what he's doing with his life atm and what his plans are. He's too old for you to be controlling what he spends, but I'd feel as you do if he's not in college/failing at it/doesn't have a part time job and is constantly asking you for money for expensive hobbies/nights out. If he's doing okay, whatever that may look like, he should be allowed to splurge his Christmas money.

It’s his money, he can do what he likes with jt, you need to realise he’s a young adult not a child.

I see where you are coming from OP I honestly think microtransactions in games, especially for non cosmetic items, are a real scourge. At 17 there isn't much you can do though apart from maybe gently point out what he could have bought with all that cash.

Depending on game these are things that can usually be grinded out for free. A good grind is character building and develops patients!

He didn’t waste his money if he enjoyed the dlc or the game currency whilst he had it

He’s old enough to waste it if he wants

My son was tbe same at 17.
He has bought ( buying ) his first house at 25 and budgeting for his council tax, mortgage and TV licence!!
Hell learn in time but he's got to make his own choices as he grows up.
You think it's a waste, hes thinks it's great.
Dh thinks my botox is a waste of money I love it!
Just different perspectives!

LOL at the idea that birthday and Christmas money will build into a London house deposit for today’s teenagers.

OP, it’s his money and he can spend it on whatever he wants. His problem if he can’t afford the next thing he wants - clothes, a night out with his friends, the next console.

As for encouraging better spend/save habits, has he had chance to manage his own money since he was young? There are lots of bank accounts kids can have control over these days, and they soon learn the idea that ‘Once it’s gone, it’s gone!’.