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Original poster

DS wasted his christmas money

353 replies

katkitty · 29/12/2021 22:07

Ds got a lot of nice presents and was given about 200 in cash from family for christmas which he deposited into his bank. I was hoping he'd spend it on a big in-person item that he's wanted for a while or save it but he has told us he's gone and spent it on virtual items on an online game that he's currently obssesed with. Whenever he gets a bit of money he spends it. He's had a lot growing up so it's not as if he's gone without. Typically these interests don't last and that's a lot of money to blow on something that doesn't even exist and I feel like I've failed as a parent that he thought it was an acceptable thing to do. I wouldn't mind if it was only some of it but it was the whole lot. I've always advised him it's not a good idea to spend so much money on these online games and I thought he understood. He's old enough to understand the value of money (he's a teenager). Maybe I'm being far fetched but I don't want him to grow up, waste all his income and still be living at home in his 30's. Is there a way to teach him a lesson (not a punishment)

OP posts:
Imdreamingofapeacefulxmas · 29/12/2021 22:50

Agree he's got to make his own choices and learn the hard way unfortunately as painful as it is to watch.
He's got to maybe make these mistakes so he can learn for when it really counts?
I have two dc. One is totally into delayed gratification and can wait, the other needs instant hits.
I'm trying to train them on game money and then small bank account money!
Again one learns and gets it, the other wants to spend.

I'm going to set up sipps for them both but really for dd2 who I imagine will need a cash injection at older age Shock. (self invested personal pension)

user1487194234 · 29/12/2021 22:51

His money,his call

notacooldad · 29/12/2021 22:52

*ColdTattyWaitingForSummer

*@notacooldad That’s actually a really good point.. my mum used to be the same.. birthday money was for a treat just for me.. I usually picked some nice make up, it was a real treat when I was a skint young mum

The difference here is the son already has plenty
So what. I've got loads of money as well. The point is it's gift money. Spend it or blow it, choice is the person who has the money.

Imdreamingofapeacefulxmas · 29/12/2021 22:52
  • I painfully look back on wasting money getting my "nails" done! Wasted a fortune on my hair.... Expensive bras at 17!

I wish I had savings habits back then but I never understood investing until now in my 40s!!

Now I bleat on about it all the time.
I've got my dds invested and try and get it into them.

viques · 29/12/2021 22:53

He is 17. A lot of his friends will be starting to have driving lessons, be saving for college/ university. He is going to learn pretty fast about budgets, saving and delayed gratification. Better he learns that lesson now at 17 than not learn it at all and still be frittering money away at 27 or 37 , or even 47.

cruffin · 29/12/2021 22:53

@notacooldad

*ColdTattyWaitingForSummer

@notacooldad That’s actually a really good point.. my mum used to be the same.. birthday money was for a treat just for me.. I usually picked some nice make up, it was a real treat when I was a skint young mum*

The difference here is the son already has plenty
So what. I've got loads of money as well. The point is it's gift money. Spend it or blow it, choice is the person who has the money.

My comment was in response to the skint young mum, of course, treat yourself, but the son really wouldn't have even missed that £200.
Imdreamingofapeacefulxmas · 29/12/2021 22:53

Ideally he should have split it.
Some to bank /stocks/ some to spend and some tk hold back.

Hawkins001 · 29/12/2021 22:56

Those micro transactions, seem nice, but it's £ for basically digital content. That's what puts me off as nothing tangible to show for it.

notacooldad · 29/12/2021 22:58

My comment was in response to the skint young mum, of course, treat yourself, but the son really wouldn't have even missed that £200
Its learning curves.
I blow ridiculous amounts of money on that when I was that age, my son did. However it didnt set a pattern for our future spending patterns.
I enjoy being frugal and stashing money.
Ds goes round switching lights off to save money!

LovePoppy · 29/12/2021 22:58

It’s either his Christmas money or it’s yours to dole out.

You let him have it

He’s bought what he wanted. If you wanted him to spend on other things you should have implemented a rule

Vegetalienne · 29/12/2021 22:58

Those micro transactions, seem nice, but it's £ for basically digital content. That's what puts me off as nothing tangible to show for it.

They get enjoyment from it. It’s not about ‘show’.

Hankunamatata · 29/12/2021 22:58

That would really really irritate me, actually probably more furious BUT he is 17 and his money so Id bite my tongue.

Mine are younger so have a limit the amount that can be spent on online add on's and we tend to use save half/spend half for any money given.

GrazingSheep · 29/12/2021 23:00

I see where you are coming from OP I honestly think microtransactions in games, especially for non cosmetic items, are a real scourge

I agree
I was reading about this recently and how online gaming purchases (for children) can be a gateway to a gambling addiction.

Original poster
katkitty · 29/12/2021 23:00

It's not that I have an issue with him spending some money for enjoyment in cases where he has nothing to show for it, but not a lot! That kind of money could've payed for an investment item

OP posts:
FuckeryIsAfoot · 29/12/2021 23:00

Just out of interest, which game is it?

notacooldad · 29/12/2021 23:01

That's what puts me off as nothing tangible to show for it
Weve got nothing to show for our Christmas eve meal out with wine and a few cocktails. It cost nearly £300 for two of us. At least the lad is still having fun with his games!!

Twillow · 29/12/2021 23:01

What 'investment item' would a teenager want though?

CloudPop · 29/12/2021 23:01

@00100001

Why is it a waste of money? It's him spending his money on things he wants?
Why is it a waste of money? Really ?
Vegetalienne · 29/12/2021 23:02

But he didn’t want an ‘investment item’.

OwlSoup · 29/12/2021 23:04

I think I'd have suggested that he spend half and save half (boring but whatever) but ultimately it's his choice.

Mine is younger at just turned 15 and he had £300 odd for Christmas. Within 24 hours he'd bought a tracksuit, hoodie, keyboard and joggers. So the £300 didn't really touch the sides Grin

All you can do is advise him where you can and also tell him you won't be subbing him or propping him up with 'treat stuff' cash if he's spent all this money and asks you for more for games in a week or two:.

Bluntness100 · 29/12/2021 23:04

What’s an investment item?

slaybell · 29/12/2021 23:04

From a parent's point of view then yes it's a waste of money but he's 17.

I think back to what I would have spent £200 on at 17 and it would be equally stupid (probably alcohol and taxis!)

MisterMeaner · 29/12/2021 23:05

My younger teen DS did the same thing with his birthday money this year (£260 gone). He didn’t realise how much he’d spent until he came to pay me back for the new phone I’d ordered for him and didn’t have enough in his account.

It was a tough lesson to learn and since then he’s had to watch his sister buying new clothes, games, gifts for friends etc and he can afford none of it, but he could have if he’d not frittered all the birthday money.
He subsequently chose to delete the game and in so doing was asked to give a reason; “I think I am getting addicted to it. I spent all my birthday money” is what he said. Made me weep, as he was so shocked and dejected.

If it had been a conscious spending of £200 in one go it wouldn’t seem as bad, but this was £10 here £30 there as upgrades and weapons were advertised as he played - often at “sale” prices which lured him in.

I honestly think these in-game purchases are immoral. It’s pure profit to the developers and the games are designed to be addictive and to create compulsive behaviour.

Sparklesocks · 29/12/2021 23:05

It could be a useful lesson in the value of money and it being gone when it’s gone - especially when he next find himself skint and thinks back to where his money went. Sometimes it’s the best way to learn.

Wife2b · 29/12/2021 23:05

Stop being such a control freak OP. He’s 17 and bought something he wants with his own money - as long as it’s not drugs or alcohol, it’s really none of your business.