"But we never confirmed" - - with voting option

[Coffeetree]

I showed up at the house of a friend and she was clearly surprised to see me. We still had a visit-- coffee and food I brought. She seemed a little flustered at first and when I asked if everything was okay, she said, "Well I thought you weren't coming because we never confirmed".

I said, "Oh right but you invited me a while back and I said yes great, so..."

Her: "Right but that was a while back and we never confirmed".

We finally dropped it and had a nice visit but was left wondering whether I'd missed some convention.

YES: an invitation and acceptance made over a month in advance needs to be refreshed with a confirmation. Otherwise it expires.

NO: If some issues a specific invitation and you accept, it's reasonable to just stick the event in your diary and rely upon it.

I've reread the OP and now I think your friend was even ruder than I initially thought.

She didn't make you food, you ate the food you brought. And while you were there she mentioned more than once how you were unexpected.

Honestly I cannot fathom that behaviour. It is so ungrateful and unpleasant.

I had a friend arrive completely unexpectedly one evening. I was setting in for a movie night in my PJs when I spotted her text saying she was ten mins away.

I had expected her the following evening.

I scrolled back through the texts arranging and it was clear where the miscommunication had happened between us both when finding a suitable date and discussing plans the day of and after. We both misunderstood the other person.

I jumped up, got dressed and ordered us a takeaway.

It's obvious that host forgot she invited the OP which is really bad form.

I would also agree that usually the onus is on the host to either cancel or confirm arrangements. Unfortunately, this isn't actually possible when the host has forgotten.

As a guest, if you haven't heard anything from your host for six weeks, it's probably wise to check. A quick really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow, anything I can bring?^^ text would cover it.