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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Where are all the threads about in laws who starve their guests?!

255 replies

SmellyOldPartridgeinaPearTree · 27/12/2021 23:21

These are a mumsnet Christmas tradition! There were none last year but I could see why, due to covid. But this year people are going and staying with in laws left, right and centre. And yet no one has been served one meal a day of half a roast potato and a wafer thin slice of ham, resulting in a break out to the chippy and the local spar for secret supplies 2 days in Xmas Sad

OP posts:
Sleepisall · 27/12/2021 23:24

Ha! I'm not at my in laws this year, they are here and we are drowning in leftovers. Maybe they were all me!

SafeMove · 27/12/2021 23:27

I am at the inlaws but they haven't starved me. Just mightily pissed off that me and DP are sleeping on camping mats on the floor of a boiling hot living room that stinks of 3 dogs whilst BIL has a double bed to himself in an upstairs bedroom that is a reasonable temp and no dog smell! And they insist on going to bed late. Fuming.

Imdreamingofapeacefulxmas · 27/12/2021 23:29

Maybe lots of past "victims" have suddenly tested positive op, via a red pen and been given a glorious, get out of jail card.

GrannytoaUnicorn · 27/12/2021 23:31

@SafeMove

I am at the inlaws but they haven't starved me. Just mightily pissed off that me and DP are sleeping on camping mats on the floor of a boiling hot living room that stinks of 3 dogs whilst BIL has a double bed to himself in an upstairs bedroom that is a reasonable temp and no dog smell! And they insist on going to bed late. Fuming.
Say something! "You don't need a bed that size to yourself so you can sleep down here tonight BIL and we'll have a turn in the bed"
Original poster
SmellyOldPartridgeinaPearTree · 27/12/2021 23:32

@Sleepisall

Ha! I'm not at my in laws this year, they are here and we are drowning in leftovers. Maybe they were all me!
Aw I was rooting for you all those times, glad you're finally having a good one Grin
OP posts:
Original poster
SmellyOldPartridgeinaPearTree · 27/12/2021 23:35

@SafeMove

I am at the inlaws but they haven't starved me. Just mightily pissed off that me and DP are sleeping on camping mats on the floor of a boiling hot living room that stinks of 3 dogs whilst BIL has a double bed to himself in an upstairs bedroom that is a reasonable temp and no dog smell! And they insist on going to bed late. Fuming.
Oh blimey. Are you there for long? Surely there must be some revenge you can wreak (shagging on their hot smelly sofa?)
OP posts:
SafeMove · 27/12/2021 23:35

@GrannytoaUnicorn

I did! I said to MIL how come BIL is in the double and she said he arrived first (a day earlier) but she has bought a new quilt for us to share Hmm. We usually stay in a hotel but she insisted we stay here and we are skint. That boundary will not be broken again! Hotel all the way next time!

Thomasthechick123 · 27/12/2021 23:38

Not this year, but previous years at sil, she used to make the most amazing roast potatoes, but would then take at least half the tray on her on plate leaving no more than two each for everyone else.. however her kids would then pile loads on their plate that they wouldn’t eat and I’d always feel bad taking more than one! Cause if you did there’d be none left for others.

Oh and you got offered a drink when you first arrived and that was it, soon learned to take a bottle of water in the car for the drive home!
We don’t go there anymore thankfully.

Genzymoo · 27/12/2021 23:44

@SafeMove

I am at the inlaws but they haven't starved me. Just mightily pissed off that me and DP are sleeping on camping mats on the floor of a boiling hot living room that stinks of 3 dogs whilst BIL has a double bed to himself in an upstairs bedroom that is a reasonable temp and no dog smell! And they insist on going to bed late. Fuming.
Casually and quietly thank BIL for letting you and partner get in a quickie in his bed earlier in the day, and add that you hope you left the sheets passably clean.

The wait for him to volunteer to switch.

SafeMove · 27/12/2021 23:46

Haha re the sex. DP is never getting it from me again after talking me into this. They have all gone to bed. Thank fucking god!

GrannytoaUnicorn · 27/12/2021 23:51

[quote SafeMove]@GrannytoaUnicorn

I did! I said to MIL how come BIL is in the double and she said he arrived first (a day earlier) but she has bought a new quilt for us to share Hmm. We usually stay in a hotel but she insisted we stay here and we are skint. That boundary will not be broken again! Hotel all the way next time![/quote]
Just say something to BIL. Make him feel guilty. Which he should, I wouldn't take up a double when there's a couple on the floor!

DrSbaitso · 27/12/2021 23:53

There seem to be more complaints about heavy and frequent meals this year.

whyohwhyohwhyohwhywhy · 27/12/2021 23:54

How about my starved child who has a dairy allergy which my mother doesn't believe in. Not only did she not buy in a carton of special milk for her (which we are of course wise to and bring our own) but she put "just a knob" of butter into all the vegetables and made a cauliflower cheese for everyone else

WorraLiberty · 27/12/2021 23:56

OMG OP I was thinking exactly the same thing earlier! Xmas Grin

I wouldn't mind but so many of them were far from 'starved', a couple I remember had less than 8 roast potatoes on their plate and that was apparently akin to murder Xmas Grin

onedayoranother · 28/12/2021 00:00

@Thomasthechick123 who hosts and then serves herself first? And then their kids? Weird.

IWishIWas · 28/12/2021 00:11

I have one.
Been with DH for almost 30 years, we always go to our own families for Christmas lunch. In laws don’t like me, for no reason at all. Decided to go with him for lunch this year as he hasn’t seen much of parents due to them being extra cautious (covid, elderly). I have lots of allergies, offered to take my own lunch but SIL & BIL (both chefs) were insistent that there was no need & asked for a list of food that I can’t eat. Spoke to them again on Xmas eve asking if I should bring food as didn’t want to be troublesome, was assured that all was good. I had PEAS for lunch…just PEAS!

PineappleMojito · 28/12/2021 00:24

Ohhh this thread brings back memories! Covid has meant we haven’t stayed at FIL’s in almost 2 years. FIL eats maybe once a day, never has much food in the fridge and would never think to buy food in for guests. He lives rural so you have to drive to go to a shop. Yet if we bring food with us, he eats it, all the while commenting on how weird it is that we need to eat so often. I take medication that I need to eat with - it makes me feel ill if I take it on an empty stomach, but FIL’s take is that it’s all in my head Hmm

Something is always broken in the house - the toilet flush was broken for AN ENTIRE YEAR, he had a really dangerous old gas stove which he insisted was perfectly fine, but ended up burning half his kitchen down. Only then would he replace it or admit it was unsafe Shock. He had a broken kettle for ages that you had to hold down the button or it wouldn’t work, and he made this elaborate contraption out of cutlery and mugs to hold the button in place! We bought him a new kettle and he was like “but the old one worked fine”. Argh! And yeah…his idea of cleaning is hit and miss. The bathroom (shudder)

I do not miss going there at all and staying at a hotel when we visit is the one “new normal” I’m happy about!

AcrossthePond55 · 28/12/2021 00:24

@whyohwhyohwhyohwhywhy

How about my starved child who has a dairy allergy which my mother doesn't believe in. Not only did she not buy in a carton of special milk for her (which we are of course wise to and bring our own) but she put "just a knob" of butter into all the vegetables and made a cauliflower cheese for everyone else
As a Coeliac, what your mother did to her own grandchild is just plain mean and nasty. It would be the LAST time I had dinner there. And I would NEVER leave her in charge of any of my children.
Pensieve · 28/12/2021 00:41

@IWishIWas

WTF?! Hope you ‘made a meal’ out of trying to get them on top of your fork in a very posh way - just for effect Grin

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 28/12/2021 00:51

Well if this year is anything to go by, my mum has probably been to every house in the UK and made sure they have enough of every food item possible “just incase/because it was on offer/as a wee treat/to tide you over/can’t have you starving/I had extra”

Just incase you’re all wondering, I have all the chocolate that has been sold for the last month in the UK in my kitchen Grin “just as a wee treat”

immersivereader · 28/12/2021 00:55

Ah the days of yore Grin

We were starved actually. I made soup to start, which we ate at 6pm. That was fine. It was 8pm by the time the ham, mash and peas were served. And that is what it was. The ham was great, but (unpurposefully) served cold. Not the best. Plus by the time we ate, I was just past being hungry. Dessert not really offered either.

SIL is one of those people who is surprised that people are hungry. She's happy off fresh air

SmolCat · 28/12/2021 00:59

Yes! Where are all the stories of penis portions and the women being forced to share one slice of turkey.

Rainbowshit · 28/12/2021 01:04

I usually contribute to those threads but I'm hosting this year so there is an absolute mountain of food! It has all been eaten so not a waste.

JingleBeth · 28/12/2021 01:05

I didn’t starve, but my MIL always serves me half a portion compared to my husband, and she didn’t disappoint on Christmas Day! Plates full of food handed to DH and his dad, with gravy and the full works…I had half the trimmings missing on my plate and no gravy at all.

My MIL is lovely though, so I don’t actually know why she does this. Maybe it’s her way of saying I need to lose the baby weight 🤷🏻‍♀️

SmolCat · 28/12/2021 01:09

@JingleBeth have you ever pointed it out? I think I’d get DP to say “oh you’ve forgotten x and y on this plate. Here JingleBeth, you have mine while I nip to the kitchen to sort it.”