Where are all the threads about in laws who starve their guests?!

[SmellyOldPartridgeinaPearTree]

These are a mumsnet Christmas tradition! There were none last year but I could see why, due to covid. But this year people are going and staying with in laws left, right and centre. And yet no one has been served one meal a day of half a roast potato and a wafer thin slice of ham, resulting in a break out to the chippy and the local spar for secret supplies 2 days in

[quote SmolCat]@JingleBeth have you ever pointed it out? I think I’d get DP to say “oh you’ve forgotten x and y on this plate. Here JingleBeth, you have mine while I nip to the kitchen to sort it.”[/quote]
DH does, when it’s noticeably different like it was on Christmas. She always says oh she didn’t realise and I can help myself to more…except I don’t because I she serves the food plated so feels greedy to get up and help myself to more!

I don’t eat as much as DH anyway, but I also don’t eat as little as she serves me, so if there’s a big difference in portion size, DH pretends he wants seconds so I can get more food.

I get that too @JingleBeth and not just at Christmas, pretty sure they are telling me I need to lose weight! Although thinking about it they also did it pre babies when I was slim. DH always claims he hasn't noticed!

And if there is any left MiL will ask if anyone wants it, then launch immediately into her plans to freeze the rest because if no one wants any there will be enough for a meal on another day. So you feel really rude asking for any more!

Good point - not seen a post about penis portions yet

Also didn’t starve but MIL thinks I’m fat and she serves me the same as my DD(5) - to be fair, a bit much for DD, but def not enough for me.

Also, NO GRAVY 😱😱😱

Ahahaha. I spoke up years ago about my small portions. Just little hints like 'can I get some more veg please?' Etc. It helps that DP and his DB have voracious appetites so MIL serves the leftovers in dishes on the table to help yourself. She never ever puts the meat out as well though so sometimes you're filling up on sprouts and carrots because you can't just help yourself to the meat. Again DP usually walks into the kitchen and carves more for himself and brings me through some as well.

Not this year, but going on what I was fed at MIL's house over the summer.

I took snacks in my suitcase when we visited this summer, because the year before I finally spoke up when it got to 7pm without a single morsel having passed my lips. I got a single satsuma for my dinner!

What the heck is a “penis portion”

It’s a portion that is much bigger because the person has a penis. Blatant misogyny.

I remember the teeny portions threads!!!

For myself I'm looking forward to the garden/play equipment appropriation threads that featured in the summer, especially during lockdown(s).

@Lovelymincepies

It’s a portion that is much bigger because the person has a penis. Blatant misogyny.

I had a good laugh over this! 😂

@JingleBeth

I didn’t starve, but my MIL always serves me half a portion compared to my husband, and she didn’t disappoint on Christmas Day! Plates full of food handed to DH and his dad, with gravy and the full works…I had half the trimmings missing on my plate and no gravy at all.

My MIL is lovely though, so I don’t actually know why she does this. Maybe it’s her way of saying I need to lose the baby weight 🤷🏻‍♀️

God I hate this.

It harks back to a time (long ago) where ALL the ‘men’ were out 12 hrs every day doing hard manual jobs - farming or down the pits and were provided with a hearty meal at the end of the day by the womenfolk at home.

Some women still see it as their role in life to pander to the men. Why they do it is anyone’s guess but I like to think that the real reasons behind it are more (manipulative) self serving than subservient.

My PIL didn’t intentionally starve us but they usually eat their main meal around 4pm and don’t eat anything afterwards. And they don’t generally snack/graze. This was fine on Christmas Day as we had a large meal of course, but we were there Christmas Eve - left this morning. On the 26th we had a slice of toast each for breakfast, no lunch but a small snacky cold buffet thing about 4pm which was lovely but then nothing else all evening. When my DP mentioned he was a bit peckish MIL suggested the 5 of us share a small frozen pizza which was about a slice each. A similar format happened on Christmas Eve.

It’s not their fault and it’s nice they put us up so I don’t mean to sound ungrateful -they just don’t eat a lot and DP and I tend to eat 3 meals a day. We also tend to eat about 7pm in the evening. We don’t even snack really as we are full from meals but we were both pretty hungry over the weekend.

Luckily for me a different aunt and uncle of DH hosted this year to usual. There was heaps of food!

In previous years there has been so little food all day it was awful. The worst year I was pregnant with my oldest, sick as a dog and not saying anything yet as it was too early. I was so hungry I was almost in tears and didn’t know the hosts well enough to just raid their cupboard funnily enough. Eventually DH made me a sandwich and I remember his grandmother saying to me “we’re all hungry” and I really really had to stop myself from saying but we’re not all pregnant with your first great grandchild! Also later it occurred to me, why was it ok that we were all in fact starving on Christmas Day? In later years I learnt to preload. If we were going for lunch I ate lunch before we left, as there would be several hours of waiting for “lunch” - this year I did the same - as I never ever want to get caught like that again. But it seems not all the family operates that way. Thank f*ck.

@Lovelymincepies

It’s a portion that is much bigger because the person has a penis. Blatant misogyny.

Who knew penises were so hungry!

@Greygreenblue

Luckily for me a different aunt and uncle of DH hosted this year to usual. There was heaps of food!

In previous years there has been so little food all day it was awful. The worst year I was pregnant with my oldest, sick as a dog and not saying anything yet as it was too early. I was so hungry I was almost in tears and didn’t know the hosts well enough to just raid their cupboard funnily enough. Eventually DH made me a sandwich and I remember his grandmother saying to me “we’re all hungry” and I really really had to stop myself from saying but we’re not all pregnant with your first great grandchild! Also later it occurred to me, why was it ok that we were all in fact starving on Christmas Day? In later years I learnt to preload. If we were going for lunch I ate lunch before we left, as there would be several hours of waiting for “lunch” - this year I did the same - as I never ever want to get caught like that again. But it seems not all the family operates that way. Thank f*ck.

Oh I hate this. I was once at someone’s house for Christmas and I was so hungry I thought I was going to either chew my arm off or be sick with the hunger pains 😢 They were nowhere to be seen so I raided the cupboards and boiled the last egg and last slice of bread for a pitiful boiled egg and soldiers. When they finally woken up we had an average Christmas lunch. This was in my single days, pre-kids. So glad to just be able to be with my DH and kids now.

MIL would not tell me what she wanted to cook...she always insists we go there and I kept asking her what she wanted me to bring....but as we're in Oz, it could have been roast meat and so on...English style or it might be fish...she eventually told me she'd got everyhting and I wasn't to bother only bring a cheese board and fruit. I did this and what she served us was cold BOILED potatoes with hard boiled eggs cut up in them and FROZEN breaded prawns.

Fuck me I was sad. I had asked her if she was doing fish I'd be happy to bring some fish/prawns from the fresh fish market....also said if she was doing a roast I'd bring lamb or whatever roast meat she wanted and anything else.

I made a full roast Christmas lunch at home the next day and was much happier. Next year NOT GOING THERE> She can come to us or not.

@cherryonthecakes

Good point - not seen a post about penis portions yet

You really shouldn't talk about "point" and "penis" in the same sentence

And yet no one has been served one meal a day of half a roast potato and a wafer thin slice of ham, resulting in a break out to the chippy and the local spar for secret supplies 2 days in

Surely the best threads were when the OP recounts the visit to the in-laws where she is given 1 measly roast spud, a 50pence piece size portion of meat and 3 peas. Meanwhile her DP gets a plate laden with 15 veg, massive slab of Yorkshire pudding and half a side of beef swimming in rich gravy. All because the MIL thinks the OP doesn't feed her precious little snowflake son the rest of the year.

Plus he gets a Garmin sports watch and £500 worth of clothes and she gets some regifted Harding and Baylis.

If DP was on mumsnet he would have probably written a post like that about Christmas at my mum's.

My in laws have very small appetites and they think that everyone else does, so they serve really small amounts of food for lots of people. Normally o find this really annoying but I am the only person in the family with a big appetite. Thankfully I am on new medication that has killed my appetite and if I eat too much I am violently ill so was relived by the small amounts this year 🤣🤣

We weren't starved for the main course, as due to last minute location change we prepped and took the turkey and veg etc with us.
Dessert however, their contribution, was one spoon of cheap trifle or two small profiteroles. No cream. FIL and I had a small portion of Xmas pud each, swimming in Brandy so old the cork disintegrated into the bottle.
He then scraped everyone's leftovers onto one plate, painstakingly stripped every greasy sinew of the turkey carcus to the bone by hand and piled it on top to eat later. 🤢
A glass of Prosecco, no further drinks offered.

The lengthy penis portion threads got me through Christmas a few years ago. Where have they all gone? Might have to search and read them all again!
During my childhood, if we had a big lunch we didn’t get a dinner because it didn’t seem to occur to parents that just because they weren’t hungry, their growing children could be. Portion wise they haven’t got the knack yet. And then my DP gets a “you are a growing man” plate of food. I’ve contemplated the chippy on the sly before!

Heehee lengthy penis portion - just reread

To be fair, men need more calories a day than women
www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/food-and-diet/what-should-my-daily-intake-of-calories-be/
I always give my husband a larger portion. It annoys me that he eats more than me but he is slimmer.

I’ve been separated for a few years and ExH and kids are off to see them today. I am so pleased that I’m not going to the cold house of Christmas moderation, shit food and teeny amounts of alcohol. I’m going to sit at home eating mountains of cheese and making elaborate cocktails.