Where are all the threads about in laws who starve their guests?!

[SmellyOldPartridgeinaPearTree]

These are a mumsnet Christmas tradition! There were none last year but I could see why, due to covid. But this year people are going and staying with in laws left, right and centre. And yet no one has been served one meal a day of half a roast potato and a wafer thin slice of ham, resulting in a break out to the chippy and the local spar for secret supplies 2 days in

@KatherineJaneway

I've never ever been to a meal at someone's house where someone put food on my plate for me and I certainly can't imagine doing it for a guest who came to my house.

I plate up as there is no room for loads of serving dishes. Not everyone has a massive dining table.

We tend to use serving dishes or if it's the family we help ourselves in the kitchen

When I have guests I always do too much and most people I have aren't greedy

I have a dishwasher and I hate dishing up

@Weenurse

"He still brings it up to this day!"

Gosh! Must have been some meal.

I have a dishwasher and I hate dishing up

No dishwasher, no serving bowls and I am excellent at plating up.

I also serve a lot of meals plated if we're a big enough group as I don't have the table space to do otherwise!

Never eaten in at either inlaws house (they're separated). My mum does fairly generous portions and unleashes all of her need to feed on us since DF has the appetite of an especially not hungry sparrow. The only penis portioning that goes on is when DP gets vaguely pressured to deal with any left overs no one else can put away.

Don’t even get me started on people who claim they don’t need to eat today because they had a big dinner the night before…

I was eating lunch at a long table in my previous work canteen. Was pissed off when a large group descended and started talking loudly but it was amusing.

Person 1: I had a roast yesterday, was lovely
Person 2: I only had brunch, was good
Person 3: I only ate salads yesterday
Person 4: I didn't eat yesterday at all, I simply wasn't hungry.

I almost laughed out loud at the competitive under eating vibe.

@KatherineJaneway

I have a dishwasher and I hate dishing up

No dishwasher, no serving bowls and I am excellent at plating up.

Yes 😀

Those who plate up for your guests, do you just put everything on or do you ask if people want things as you serve it?

DD was recently given a plated up dinner and the host had put cauliflower cheese on top and then covered it with gravy. She likes both but the 2 together really put her off.

Those who plate up for your guests, do you just put everything on or do you ask if people want things as you serve it?

Usually it is done by questions such as how many Yorkshires or how hungry are you etc.

DD was recently given a plated up dinner and the host had put cauliflower cheese on top and then covered it with gravy. She likes both but the 2 together really put her off.

Cauliflower cheese doesn't belong on Christmas Dinner so never an issue in the Janeway household Guests are given plenty of gravy and help themselves, we don't pre-pour gravy as tastes differ.

Guys. First true victory.

Both dinner and pudding tonight the penis portion wasn't there. Or at least the difference was so small I couldn't tell.

Might have something to do with the four slices of toast I put away at breakfast but real progress has been made.
Just as well as emergency minced pies have been eaten.

I am a shit host but there is always loads of food. I just put everything in full view and say don’t wait for me to offer just help yourselves and you are welcome to any thing in my fridge and cupboards.

My dining table is small too, but we either pull up a side-table to stick extra dishes on, or put things on the counter, or I get people to help themselves in the kitchen. I just can't imaging plonking food on a guest's plate.

I know food is plated up in a restaurant, but to me this is completely different. If a restaurant brings out a plate with too much food on it, or some items you don't like, you can just leave them uneaten and nobody will care. But when a person is eating as a guest in someone's house, they are likely to feel embarrassed if they end up leaving a pile of food uneaten, because it will feel personal.

I did also wonder where all the posts were about not being able to get takeaways yesterday but clearly that wasn't a thing this year!

Plated food in a restaurant is what you have explicitly chosen, not just pot luck.

like some grasping Tudor upstart battling for precedence,

@WorriedMumsDontSleep

2 all. Blindsided with a penis portion pudding.

Like Japanese WWII pilots - they come at you out of the sun!

Some very vivid imagery in the last few posts!

LOL my in-laws are the opposite!!! Last time I went to theirs for Christmas MIL handed me a plate in the kitchen piled high with meat (all the veg were in dishes on the dinning table) I told her it was too much meat for me and she turned round and said it was for my DC… who was 3!!! My DH family are all in poor health and overweight and Christmas seems to give them the green light to gorge themselves stupid. I find that much food overwhelming and off putting. I haven’t been back.

When we were kids my parents used to piss off to the pub and we were lucky to get a bowl of soup when they got back. We were NOT allowed to enter the larder. (In those days pubs opened 12 - 2 and that was it) I did read a previous post where someone said overfeeding was a Scottish thing. Not in our house

The very first time I ever ate outside my home was when I went to my now wife's house for Christmas dinner. (As an apprentice didn't earn enough to have money left over after 'keep' to buy other food.) I couldn't believe how much food there was. Especially when MIL announced she was just bringing the rest through.

When married and hosting we always make sure we offer plenty of food and drink when we had guests.Even bought a table that can seat ten so we can cope. Always do loads and make sure if there are any dietary requirements we cater for this was well.

Best bit is that even though everyone has loads to eat and drink there are always leftovers to give for anyone wanting takeaways and to get me through the next couple of days

Like Japanese WWII pilots - they come at you out of the sun!
Haha, same for whisking plates, glasses or cups away before you have had seconds!

I bloody HATE that, Worried.

You're still with a knife and fork in your hand and suddenly your dinner's gone because FIL has finished HIS meal.

I serve all our meals at the table in serving dishes, because although I am not a fussy eater per se, I am a wee bit overly specific when it comes to certain types of food on a plate 'touching' (I'm looking at you, baked beans), so cater to my own rather niche tastes.

I also have a few friends and relatives with EDs and find that serving this way allows people to eat how and what they want without drawing too much attention to it (as a host, I would hate to make people feel uncomfortable).

@greenteafiend

My dining table is small too, but we either pull up a side-table to stick extra dishes on, or put things on the counter, or I get people to help themselves in the kitchen. I just can't imaging plonking food on a guest's plate.

I know food is plated up in a restaurant, but to me this is completely different. If a restaurant brings out a plate with too much food on it, or some items you don't like, you can just leave them uneaten and nobody will care. But when a person is eating as a guest in someone's house, they are likely to feel embarrassed if they end up leaving a pile of food uneaten, because it will feel personal.

Agree. We've always had everyone into the kitchen to help themselves due to small dining space. No fancy serving dishes, these people are our family/friends. It's laid out like a buffet and they just pile on what and how much they like. Seconds/thirds whenever they get up to get them.

Also never heard of this 'men first with huge portions', that would be incredibley rude. It's always been elderly women first then younger women, then elderly men down to young men. Young DC fed with Mum/Dad depending on who wants to plate for them. Always tons of food so that no one arrives in line to find empty platters. I feel for all of you stuck dealing with this starving at a celebration madness!

Also restaurant serving is completely different as you decide exactly what you are ordering and what you recieve should be exactly that, portion size included.

@astorsback

I've just come back from a two day stay with relatives which involved:

No heating on from 8pm until 9 am so i had to sleep in my coat

I had to ask if there was breakfast at 10.30 as nothing had been offered. I was then grudgingly shown the cereal cupboard contents.

On Christmas day, there was only one meal.

On boxing day, there was only one other meal bar the grudgingly offered cereal.

I was never offered a drink, I had to ask. Then it was Fair Trade with UHT milk. That goes for both tea and coffee. No chocolates were offered (stacked in the dining room). No wine top up (so just the one).

They are very well off before anyone mentions money being tight. We spent the last day listening to male relative bang on about how well his investments were doing (he's retired).

Honestly, I dont know why, in this day and age, people are still such bad hosts. When they visit me, they get a warm, comfortable room, a choice of fresh hot & cold breakfast options, alcohol topped up constantly, offers of hot/cold drinks made every hour, snacks out & freely available. Three meals a day, plus cake and/or cheese.

It baffles me.

I think I want to come to yours

My mum always over feeds us at Christmas to the point my dh who could eat for Scotland has to turn it down!

When I was younger I'd always get the smaller portion as a child until my mum plated up dinner when I was about 16/17 and I had a child portion and my dad told her that I'm not a child anymore and needed more! In a way I wish he hadn't as she makes too much lol.

At Christmas there I got us 3 different types of meat, loads of veg and roasties. There was a lot of leftovers. Tbf there was only 4 of us and one was 7 months old lol.

Boxing day I done a buffet again for the 4 of us. The 7 month old loved the mozzarella sticks and the 5yo hoovered up the spring rolls!

I didn't make mash at Xmas as dh isn't keen on potato products and wanted to make it easy to cook as last year I was in the kitchen all day at 20 weeks pregnant, he was busy building DD1 Xmas presents.