Nephew is dog phobic. Visiting dilemma

[DaughterOfEvening]

I’ve kept this quite vague as my SIL is on here. DB has asked to come and visit us with their children, all three over 6. We don’t live close by, a few hours drive. We have room for them to stay. They have not yet visited our house as we moved during lockdown. Their eldest is 12 and has always been dog phobic (will scream, cry, run away)
Phone call today from DB asking for detailed layout of the house and where the dogs will be as “Billy” won’t be in the same room as a dog. We have two very lazy dogs who sleep for 20+ hours a day. The dogs are not barkers or jumpers.

I have reassured him that neither dog will be wandering around and that they will stay on their respective beds in one room downstairs. The dogs have never been upstairs. Ever.
Brother has said that it’s not enough, that’s it’s nothing personal. He’s just not willing to put Billy under any stress.
I’m not sure if he’s expecting me to shut the dogs outside but if he asked this then my polite response would be oh dear, you have long drive back then.
Should I be more accommodating?

@luckylavender l do as l had dental phobia. Difference is l did something about it, as my phobia was problematic and so is Billy's. He needs to be encouraged by his parents to do something about it

[quote 5zeds]@AllThingsServeTheBeam yes I would (and have in a very similar situation not that that matters). We’re different people with different priorities, nobody is “wrong”.[/quote]
Then why continue to make suggestions to the OP that she's already said she's not going to do? It's definitely not wrong to think your post was batshit that's for sure.

@HouseAHunting - having a dental phobia is a little more urgent to treat than a dog phobia. It's perfectly possible to avoid dogs in everyday life for the most part despite what most people think of this thread. I hope you got good treatment.

@Offmyfence yes, if I didn't know the poodle I'd be wary too. I don't like poodles anyway. You don't see many these days and even Roly from Eastenders is dead.

andmasNightgown

He's asked to come and visit you.

You have agreed to keep the dogs away from his DC - never upstairs, kept on one room downstairs.

And that's not enough?

Tell him to stay in B&B and you will meet up, without dogs, away from your home

You can't invite yourself then seek to evict the resident dogs!“

Agree with this. Don’t have a dog now but we certainly wouldn’t be evicting our cats to the garden.

@DaughterOfEvening has stated that this child calmly watched these dogs snoozing behind a baby gate prior to this. This sounds like a a child who would have been willing to try to test their boundaries (under safe conditions) had their parent/s not been fostering their neurosis. I am actually wondering if it is not your brother who has the dog phobia @DaughterOfEvening and has passed it on, or if this child is the PFB and has been the unwitting recipient of overly-anxious, helicopter parents.

All I'm foreseeing is the dogs getting out the room and your brother shouting at you while his kid screams and cries lol. I voted yabu because you should just call it off.

I read some more and your brother definitely has the phobia of dogs and has passed it on.

It's not just about the practicalities of avoiding dogs--honestly, a boy approaching teenage years who is petrified of even the most docile dog is going to get teased to death when this is discovered by other boys. The phobia needs to be brought down to manageable levels.