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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My in laws came for early lunch at 11:30 and they are still here

399 replies

DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 16:34

AIBU to think it is about time they pushed off?

I've fed them lunch, cheese, cake, mince pies, booze and endless cups of tea. We've 'done' presents. We've had the dull conversations about money (them) and covid (a hoax apparently). I have resisted plunging a knife into one or all of them.

I want a bath and a nice glass of wine and some P&Q. What is the etiquette for getting them gone?

OP posts:
Sundancerintherain · 27/12/2021 16:57

*12 am, obviously.

RedPandaWanda · 27/12/2021 16:57

I had this on Christmas Day with my FIL, after endless money conversations and his usual misogynist topics he settled in the living room watching endless 70’s sexist tv on Sky (On the buses, Carry On etc 🙄). I had had enough so shut my eyes and pretended to snooze so I no longer had to engage in the conversation, as it was I did actually nod off for an hour. Rude of me, I know, but it was bloody lovely.

Crinkle77 · 27/12/2021 16:58

@DownToTheSleighAgain

If only it were that simple. He likes having them around. #weird
What's weird about your DH enjoying spending time with his family 🙄
Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 16:58

@thing47

These people think Covid is a hoax. If that is their general level of intelligence / conversation, I don't entirely blame OP for feeling stabby.

It's hard to get someone to leave. But as a PP said, there must be some chores which need doing so you can at least absent yourself from entertaining them.

What is even sadder is that they are all educated to postgraduate standard and one is a doctor. How can people so apparently clever be so thick?

Stab. Stab. Stab.

OP posts:
Sparkletastic · 27/12/2021 16:58

Christ I couldn't spend that long in the company of Covid refuseniks. How about 'I'm so sorry you are going to have to excuse me as I have a terrible headache. I'm going to take some paracetamol and have a bath.'

Dweetfidilove · 27/12/2021 16:58

Thank the good Lord for my wonderful accommodating family who do not think, act or behave like this 😥

papayaorange · 27/12/2021 16:59

@DownToTheSleighAgain

AIBU to think it is about time they pushed off?

I've fed them lunch, cheese, cake, mince pies, booze and endless cups of tea. We've 'done' presents. We've had the dull conversations about money (them) and covid (a hoax apparently). I have resisted plunging a knife into one or all of them.

I want a bath and a nice glass of wine and some P&Q. What is the etiquette for getting them gone?

Why not just show them this post, you will have the pleasure of them never coming back again!"
mumwon · 27/12/2021 17:01

start coughing but agree with them covid is a fallacy cough cough cough

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 27/12/2021 17:01

Your poor inlaws. How awful to want to spend time with their son and his family. Do you have sons OP? How would you feel if their wives resented you?
Everyone cooks and cleans and offers drinks when friends, relatives come around. Why do you find it so hard?!

notacooldad · 27/12/2021 17:02

It's been lovely seeing you, but expect you'll be wanting to get on your way now hand coats to in laws
If met with any resistance:
I'm sorry I am going to have to kick you out tinkly laugh, I've got things to do

I bet if your partner did that to your friends and family that you were happy seeing you would be furious. Especially with a ridiculous tinkly laugh 🙄

Normski67 · 27/12/2021 17:03

Put your head back and just doze off. I’ve done this plenty of times and noOne seems to mind.

Couchbettato · 27/12/2021 17:03

Have a bath any way. If you only have one bathroom they'll clear off when they need a wee and realise the facilities are occupied.

Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 17:06

@UnshakenNeedsStirring

Your poor inlaws. How awful to want to spend time with their son and his family. Do you have sons OP? How would you feel if their wives resented you? Everyone cooks and cleans and offers drinks when friends, relatives come around. Why do you find it so hard?!
Just too selfish I suppose. Poor DH.
OP posts:
JohnSmithDrive · 27/12/2021 17:06

I think if they're "guests" they should leave, but if they're "family" they stay as long as they like and you carry on as normal, so go and have your bath.

CheltenhamLady · 27/12/2021 17:07

I hope you never have in-laws OP. You sound very self-centred and what goes around, usually comes around.

Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 17:10

@CheltenhamLady

I hope you never have in-laws OP. You sound very self-centred and what goes around, usually comes around.
Yes. I'm as selfish as they come. YANBU
OP posts:
nicesausages · 27/12/2021 17:10

A bit taken aback by some of these replies. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

I'd be talking about getting home safely, roads bad with wet and the dark, might be best to get on the road soon, etc

DDivaStar · 27/12/2021 17:10

They sound a nightmare, but if your husband is enjoying serung them i don't think you hsve any right to kick them out.

Having said that there's no reason you can't go and have a bath. Theyve been well looked after and you've spent a good amount of time with them.

GTAlogic · 27/12/2021 17:10

I'm in introvert but really don't mind people coming over and staying for a while. I'd hate for people to be praying for me to leave as you are with your in-laws and bitching about me on the internet.

Think about how, one day, you might be an in-law visiting your adult dc's houses: how would you feel if your dc's partners did to you what you're doing to your in-laws? How does your dh feel about his parents visiting and how rude you are about them? It's not weird to enjoy the company of your family.

Kebabandchipsplease · 27/12/2021 17:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MenaiMna · 27/12/2021 17:11

You've lost this battle but how to win the war (hints for next time):
Arrival- "great timing! lunch is just ready now!" Sit eat chat blah blah don't offer seconds
Mid way - let's move to sitting room for pudding & coffee blah blah give them most uncomfortable seats
After pudding clear up straight away throw into the chat what your family plans are outside the house at 4pm (meeting someone they've never heard of is ideal)
At 2:30 "one last tea for the road as I expect you'll want to get going and we're off out soon!"
3:15 latest, clear the cups and get their coats but here's where you clinch your good manners...
Make the plan for next time you'll see them and seem to look forward to it. It can always be cancelled closer to the time.

givemepiece · 27/12/2021 17:11

I know (well I'm pretty sure) this thread is 'light hearted' (I hope) but reading it really makes me sad.
I really really hope my son marries someone who enjoys my company or at least doesn't see anything wrong with spending quality time at some point over the Christmas period.

PiffleWiffleWoozle · 27/12/2021 17:13

If only it were that simple. He likes having them around. #weird

His house he should be able to have his family round without pressuring them to leave if he wants.

Equally though up to him to entertain them, and you have done your bit. Retreat upstairs with your wine and enjoy.

RuleWithAWoodenFoot · 27/12/2021 17:13

We had agreed latest mine could stay was 28th. I went for a swim this morning, when I got back they were packing. My partner had decided it was time for them to go. Woohoo.

LittleRen · 27/12/2021 17:14

So many of these horrible threads on here this Christmas. It’s Christmas FGS does one day with the inlaws really bother you that much??