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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My in laws came for early lunch at 11:30 and they are still here

399 replies

DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 16:34

AIBU to think it is about time they pushed off?

I've fed them lunch, cheese, cake, mince pies, booze and endless cups of tea. We've 'done' presents. We've had the dull conversations about money (them) and covid (a hoax apparently). I have resisted plunging a knife into one or all of them.

I want a bath and a nice glass of wine and some P&Q. What is the etiquette for getting them gone?

OP posts:
Magnited · 27/12/2021 16:48

Look after your guests and feed them well. Feed them very well indeed.

Fairyliz · 27/12/2021 16:48

How far away do they live?

If its a two hour journey then its not an unreasonable amount of time. If they only live 10 minutes away and pop in twice a week, then I would be making up some excuse about going out tonight.

Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 16:48

@gluenotsoup

It’s not that long! They probably wanted to see you and enjoy their time with you . You are being a bit of a grinch.
Completely accept that I am being unreasonable to those of you who adore their in laws but in a similar situation my family would come for lunch, have lunch, chat briefly, then leave. I'd be a couple of hours into my bath at least by now.
OP posts:
MsAgnesDiPesto · 27/12/2021 16:50

If I’d invited people for lunch and to ‘do’ Christmas, with gifts and things, I’d absolutely expect them still to be with me now! I think you’re letting your dislike of their views (understandable) override your polite hosting. I expect there’s some urgent washing up or something that needs doing, though, isn’t there? Before your DH does a final round of tea before they get on the road.

Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 16:50

@Fairyliz

How far away do they live?

If its a two hour journey then its not an unreasonable amount of time. If they only live 10 minutes away and pop in twice a week, then I would be making up some excuse about going out tonight.

40 mins. Also I don't dislike them. I just can't bear the conversation. Makes me stabby. Need the bath to calm down.
OP posts:
papayaorange · 27/12/2021 16:50

Dear God what complete and utter bastards they are to stay after lunch.
How unreasonable that they want to see their son and his wife.

Well just chuck them out!
Don't forget to ask your husband to do the same when it is HIS inlaws.

CodenameEgg · 27/12/2021 16:51

@Stiffcondomhat

It's been lovely seeing you, but expect you'll be wanting to get on your way now hand coats to in laws If met with any resistance: I'm sorry I am going to have to kick you out tinkly laugh, I've got things to do
Fucking hell would people really do this shit in real life?
PercyPiggington · 27/12/2021 16:51

You’re obviously never had the pleasure of meeting my MIL….

DH makes no effort with my family either and never spends any time with them so I don’t feel I need to pretend to like his.

Sunbird24 · 27/12/2021 16:51

How about asking them if they’ve got anything nice for their dinner, and mentioning that you’ve got 2 of something for you and DH that you’re really looking forward to, if the conversation can be naturally sort of guided that way?

PercyPiggington · 27/12/2021 16:52

That was to @Ihopeyourcakeisshit.

hauntedvagina · 27/12/2021 16:52

I'm making the assumption here that you're in the UK. You need to slap both your knees, stand up, say "right, oh my god is that the time?? Well I better..." and then just wander off into another room. Once one Brit has slapped their knees and stood up, others will follow suit, bit like yawning in public.

MindTheChristmasGap · 27/12/2021 16:52

@Stiffcondomhat

It's been lovely seeing you, but expect you'll be wanting to get on your way now hand coats to in laws If met with any resistance: I'm sorry I am going to have to kick you out tinkly laugh, I've got things to do
The tinkly laugh people on here are the worst.
papayaorange · 27/12/2021 16:53

So many horrible people on here and incredibly rude.

Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 16:53

@Sunbird24

How about asking them if they’ve got anything nice for their dinner, and mentioning that you’ve got 2 of something for you and DH that you’re really looking forward to, if the conversation can be naturally sort of guided that way?
They'd take that as a cue to stay. And talk more bollocks.
OP posts:
UnshakenNeedsStirring · 27/12/2021 16:53

Would you like your DH to treat your parent & family the same way like you are treating his?

Shedmistress · 27/12/2021 16:54

I was going to suggest going into the kitchen, sniffing some pepper,sneezing and pretending you've just got a text from someone you saw the other day that has tested positive...

But if you have ketchup I rather like the alternative idea...

hedgehogger1 · 27/12/2021 16:54

I don't think the in laws are being unreasonable to stay that long at all. Some people on this thread sound incredibly rude though

Sunset999 · 27/12/2021 16:54

Maybe yawn a few times and make comments about being shattered, they might realise !

Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 16:55

@UnshakenNeedsStirring

Would you like your DH to treat your parent & family the same way like you are treating his?
What? Get up at 8 to cook for them all, serve and clear up, load and empty the dishwasher a couple of times, offer more drinks and hand round biscuits, cake etc

If he did in fact do this I'd fall off my seat in surprise.

OP posts:
drpet49 · 27/12/2021 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

thing47 · 27/12/2021 16:56

These people think Covid is a hoax. If that is their general level of intelligence / conversation, I don't entirely blame OP for feeling stabby.

It's hard to get someone to leave. But as a PP said, there must be some chores which need doing so you can at least absent yourself from entertaining them.

KurtWildesChristmasNamechange · 27/12/2021 16:56

@Stiffcondomhat

It's been lovely seeing you, but expect you'll be wanting to get on your way now hand coats to in laws If met with any resistance: I'm sorry I am going to have to kick you out tinkly laugh, I've got things to do
Tinkly laugh 😂
Sundancerintherain · 27/12/2021 16:56

Do you have a dog you could walk?
I have some sympathy, my fil and smil used to descend without prior warning, once staying from 3:30pm until 12pm. On a school night. When we had a 5year old and a 7 year old.
Words were had.

PowerhouseOfTheCell · 27/12/2021 16:56

My mum has a codeword for when my step dads family aren’t taking the hint and she’s about to get stabby. So when it’s kangaroo season he knows it’s go the fuck home o’clock

papayaorange · 27/12/2021 16:57

@DownToTheSleighAgain

AIBU to think it is about time they pushed off?

I've fed them lunch, cheese, cake, mince pies, booze and endless cups of tea. We've 'done' presents. We've had the dull conversations about money (them) and covid (a hoax apparently). I have resisted plunging a knife into one or all of them.

I want a bath and a nice glass of wine and some P&Q. What is the etiquette for getting them gone?

You sound like a very selfish, spoilt person. ME ME ME!