Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My in laws came for early lunch at 11:30 and they are still here

399 replies

DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 16:34

AIBU to think it is about time they pushed off?

I've fed them lunch, cheese, cake, mince pies, booze and endless cups of tea. We've 'done' presents. We've had the dull conversations about money (them) and covid (a hoax apparently). I have resisted plunging a knife into one or all of them.

I want a bath and a nice glass of wine and some P&Q. What is the etiquette for getting them gone?

OP posts:
PinkSyCo · 28/12/2021 01:22

If only it were that simple. He likes having them around. #weird

Only on Mumsnet is it weird that someone actually likes their parents. Sad.

PinkSyCo · 28/12/2021 01:31

Completely accept that I am being unreasonable to those of you who adore their in laws but in a similar situation my family would come for lunch, have lunch, chat briefly, then leave. I'd be a couple of hours into my bath at least by now.

Maybe your DH’s parents like him more than your parents like you. 🤷🏻‍♀️

TheGloomyMushroom · 28/12/2021 01:43

@PinkSyCo

Completely accept that I am being unreasonable to those of you who adore their in laws but in a similar situation my family would come for lunch, have lunch, chat briefly, then leave. I'd be a couple of hours into my bath at least by now.

Maybe your DH’s parents like him more than your parents like you. 🤷🏻‍♀️

No, I think her parents just understand how social interactions are meant to take place, unlike her husbands parents.
Furries · 28/12/2021 01:46

“Social interactions”. FML - the day I start to refer to family visits in this way is the day I realise I’ve lost the plot.

Still totally flummoxed by the OP referring to DH as #weird for enjoying seeing his parents.

PinkSyCo · 28/12/2021 01:56

No, I think her parents just understand how social interactions are meant to take place, unlike her husbands parents.

Considering OP thinks it’s abnormal to enjoy spending time with one’s parents I think my post is probably nearer the truth than yours.

TheGloomyMushroom · 28/12/2021 02:08

@Furries

“Social interactions”. FML - the day I start to refer to family visits in this way is the day I realise I’ve lost the plot.

Still totally flummoxed by the OP referring to DH as #weird for enjoying seeing his parents.

It doesn't matter if it's family or not though. An invite to lunch is not an invite to spend the day. Do people really not realise this?
Furries · 28/12/2021 02:20

@TheGloomyMushroom - I’d hope they don’t realise it! I’d be pretty gutted if my family made it clear that I needed to leave the house once lunch was finished.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m actually mindful of how busy people’s lives are. And I’m often the one kind of eager to get home. But I’d say that Christmas Day, with family, is the one day where you don’t look at your watch and want to kick them out after less than 5 hours!

There has been so much angst on various threads the last few weeks. Paraphrasing, but along the lines of “sod the government, sod Covid, I’m going to see my family no matter what”. And yet this thread has so many people wanting the buggers to fuck off once they’ve cleared their plates!

Parents, as they get older are/can be really bloody annoying. I totally get that. But OP doing the “weird” comment re her DH enjoying his parent’s company is really not nice. May have been an attempt at humour, but it doesn’t come across well.

amnm · 28/12/2021 02:26

Just say you've stuff to do and leave your partner to talk to them. I wouldn't even see that as being rude given that they're his parents, not yours. Let's face it, they're probably really only interested in seeing him anyway.

I do think it's unreasonable to kick them out though, just because you don't want to be present doesn't mean you should get to decide how long your partner and their parents get to spend with each other over Christmas.

Meraas · 28/12/2021 07:50

@Furries

“Social interactions”. FML - the day I start to refer to family visits in this way is the day I realise I’ve lost the plot.

Still totally flummoxed by the OP referring to DH as #weird for enjoying seeing his parents.

Another one who lacks nuance. OP was joking about it being weird.
Meraas · 28/12/2021 07:52

[quote Furries]@TheGloomyMushroom - I’d hope they don’t realise it! I’d be pretty gutted if my family made it clear that I needed to leave the house once lunch was finished.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m actually mindful of how busy people’s lives are. And I’m often the one kind of eager to get home. But I’d say that Christmas Day, with family, is the one day where you don’t look at your watch and want to kick them out after less than 5 hours!

There has been so much angst on various threads the last few weeks. Paraphrasing, but along the lines of “sod the government, sod Covid, I’m going to see my family no matter what”. And yet this thread has so many people wanting the buggers to fuck off once they’ve cleared their plates!

Parents, as they get older are/can be really bloody annoying. I totally get that. But OP doing the “weird” comment re her DH enjoying his parent’s company is really not nice. May have been an attempt at humour, but it doesn’t come across well.[/quote]
It’s not Christmas Day dinner though.

MilesJuppIsMyBitch · 28/12/2021 08:28

This thread is like 2005 MN and 2020 MN have been mashed together in some sort of cruel time-travel experiment.

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 28/12/2021 09:17

@MilesJuppIsMyBitch

This thread is like 2005 MN and 2020 MN have been mashed together in some sort of cruel time-travel experiment.
I actually think lots of people are super grumpy and taking it out on some posters. MN is a miserable place at the moment.
Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 28/12/2021 09:23

Well I for one enjoyed the contretemps between Holly and Meraas at least Grin

GoodPrincessWenceslas · 28/12/2021 10:04

@TameDucksAtChatsworth

I don't think you're guilty of coercive control, OP but I do think that you have a miserable and mean heart.

Still, Karma and all that!

SO mean and miserable of her to entertain her in-laws for several hours, slave to give them a nice meal and keep them plied with drinks etc, listen to their endless weird opinions about Trump the hero without telling them they're idiots, then come on here for a quick moan about how they haven't gone yet. Clearly she should burn in hell.
ironorchids · 28/12/2021 12:37

"@Butchyrestingface
“I waved knives around and made stabby gestures”
I get the impression this OP thinks she's a real wit.“
Do you mean to be so rude?"

But they were responding to my post and your response, which was

“ironorchids
“What prompted them to leave in the end?“
I waved knives around and made stabby gestures.”

Do you @DownToTheSleighAgain mean to be so rude?

Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 28/12/2021 12:53

[quote ironorchids]"@Butchyrestingface
“I waved knives around and made stabby gestures”
I get the impression this OP thinks she's a real wit.“
Do you mean to be so rude?"

But they were responding to my post and your response, which was

“ironorchids
“What prompted them to leave in the end?“
I waved knives around and made stabby gestures.”

Do you @DownToTheSleighAgain mean to be so rude?[/quote]
Yes. Did it work?

OP posts:
Grandville · 28/12/2021 13:11

I was disappointed there was no trifle bullfight thread this year.

This has made up for it. Top notch bunfighting.

ChristmasFluff · 28/12/2021 14:05

I'm disappointed that the tapestry of life wasn't mentioned more often.

Offmyfence · 28/12/2021 14:13

@nicesausages

A bit taken aback by some of these replies. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

I'd be talking about getting home safely, roads bad with wet and the dark, might be best to get on the road soon, etc

I'd be thinking I'm perfectly capable of driving in rain and dark, what the hell were you babbling on about!
ironorchids · 28/12/2021 14:14

Why ask a question on Mumsnet just to make snide remarks to anyone who responds? What's wrong with you?

tiredofthisshit21 · 28/12/2021 14:20

@ironorchids

Why ask a question on Mumsnet just to make snide remarks to anyone who responds? What's wrong with you?
Maybe she just wanted a bit of a distraction! Isn't that what internet forums are for?! Confused
BitterTits · 28/12/2021 14:24

@MilesJuppIsMyBitch

This thread is like 2005 MN and 2020 MN have been mashed together in some sort of cruel time-travel experiment.
Yes, please bring back the teens! I'm astonished at the dourness and inability to grasp dark humour.
BitterTits · 28/12/2021 14:24

@ironorchids

Why ask a question on Mumsnet just to make snide remarks to anyone who responds? What's wrong with you?
Case in point.
HeadNorth · 28/12/2021 14:26

I've thoroughly enjoyed this entertaining thread. Thank you OP for keeping it going and managing to enrage so many posters - good work.

CSIblonde · 28/12/2021 14:26

I get it. People whose company I enjoy I'd not even think about when they were leaving. However my DM invited a couple I barely knew one Christmas who stayed 8 hours . It was excruciating trying to make chit chat for that long: they wouldn't do the leisurely after lunch walk & then some Christmas Classics on TV, ( A Wonderful Life etc ) which was our usual thing. After 4 hours I retired to the top floor of the house & did my own thing. It was prob rude but it was our first Christmas after my Dad passed so it was a tricky time emotionally.