My in laws came for early lunch at 11:30 and they are still here

[DownToTheSleighAgain]

AIBU to think it is about time they pushed off?

I've fed them lunch, cheese, cake, mince pies, booze and endless cups of tea. We've 'done' presents. We've had the dull conversations about money (them) and covid (a hoax apparently). I have resisted plunging a knife into one or all of them.

I want a bath and a nice glass of wine and some P&Q. What is the etiquette for getting them gone?

@HeadNorth

I've thoroughly enjoyed this entertaining thread. Thank you OP for keeping it going and managing to enrage so many posters - good work.

No prob. I must admit I was rather taken aback by the sheer number of humourless thickies that I encountered on my journey but tapestry of life and all that .....

@DownToTheSleighAgain

If only it were that simple. He likes having them around. #weird

Why is he weird for wanting to spend time with his parents? YOU sound like the weirdo 🙄

Why is he weird for wanting to spend time with his parents?
YOU sound like the weirdo 🙄

Please see above re: humourless thickies (and tapestry of life)

Annnnd I've made it to the end! Nothing to add to the debate, I just want to thank the OP for an entertaining afternoon. It really was like going back to the days of humour on here.

@DownToTheSleighAgain

*Why is he weird for wanting to spend time with his parents? YOU sound like the weirdo 🙄*

Please see above re: humourless thickies (and tapestry of life)

Humourless thickies..... you should do stand up comedy!

Humourless thickies

You're a peach OP. Your in-laws are better off with you in the bath

Run out of wit and so resorts to insults 🤨

Why did you marry such a useless lump of a man?

OP,

I think you ARE sainted.

5 hours of that level of discourse would have caused both husband and I physical pain, not to mind our children.

I would have thought it perfectly fine to leave your husband have some valuable one on one with them after lunch.

Too late now to offer advice for this year, but for future ones. My late uncle was difficult or even worse. I used his limited eyesight and wish to be home in daylight as a reason to get him to go home much earlier in the afternoon. May not work if ILs drive though.

I don't blame you in the slightest. The crap about the pandemic would have them chucked out into the snow in my house. Granted, I'd hold the door while DH did the chucking, but that's just not tolerated in my home, period. Don't care who it is.

A difference of opinion is not tolerated in your home? Wtf?!!

Party bags are the answer here OP! At the end of two hours, you simply hand them out as you tell them that the party is over.

@Hugoslavia

Party bags are the answer here OP! At the end of two hours, you simply hand them out as you tell them that the party is over.

Yes 🙌.

Not only is life a rich tapestry but it is a learning journey too. Thanks 🙏

A difference of opinion is not tolerated in your home? Wtf?!!

I'd have no trouble with differences of opinion.

Mind numbing stupidity and being expected to take seriously the latest equivalent of the flat earth brigade - no I'm not wasting brain cycles on that.

YABVU. If they’d only stayed two hours you’d have probably been on here complaining that they took your gifts, ate and left.

It’s nice that they want to spend time with you both. Lord knows why though; you sound horrible.

@VestaTilley

YABVU. If they’d only stayed two hours you’d have probably been on here complaining that they took your gifts, ate and left.

It’s nice that they want to spend time with you both. Lord knows why though; you sound horrible.

I am. Mean and nasty as they come.

@PinkSyCo

I don't blame you in the slightest. The crap about the pandemic would have them chucked out into the snow in my house. Granted, I'd hold the door while DH did the chucking, but that's just not tolerated in my home, period. Don't care who it is.

A difference of opinion is not tolerated in your home? Wtf?!!

Idiotic opinions about the pandemic wouldn't be accepted in my house either. Frankly, if my mum or dad was spouting garbage about covid I would likely go LC and phase it out to NC. Luckily, I have no idiots in my family.

Idiotic opinions about the pandemic wouldn't be accepted in my house either. Frankly, if my mum or dad was spouting garbage about covid I would likely go LC and phase it out to NC. Luckily, I have no idiots in my family.

Fucking hell I can’t imagine being that intolerant! What if it were your partner one of your kids, would you throw them out?

Who the fuck in the real world goes for a bath when they have guests round? Unspeakably weird and rude.

@mycatisannoying

Who the fuck in the real world goes for a bath when they have guests round? Unspeakably weird and rude.

Honestly, don’t worry about it. The OP was being super cool and Uber hilarious/sarcastic about the whole situation. If you don’t get that, then you’re totally thick (apparently).

@PinkSyCo

Idiotic opinions about the pandemic wouldn't be accepted in my house either. Frankly, if my mum or dad was spouting garbage about covid I would likely go LC and phase it out to NC. Luckily, I have no idiots in my family.

Fucking hell I can’t imagine being that intolerant! What if it were your partner one of your kids, would you throw them out?

Oh, I wouldn't ever date an idiot not would I raise one.

I just get one of my sudden 'migraines' and take myself off for a lie down where I watch Netflix

Good lord. What a rich vein of catbum-faced acid drops there are in the world! Thanks OP, I have very much enjoyed the non catbum aspects of this thread.
Eldest DC is in a similar position with her PILs, nice people but never stop talking and don't leave.

@PinkSyCo

I don't blame you in the slightest. The crap about the pandemic would have them chucked out into the snow in my house. Granted, I'd hold the door while DH did the chucking, but that's just not tolerated in my home, period. Don't care who it is.

A difference of opinion is not tolerated in your home? Wtf?!!

Difference of opinion is fine. Endangering others due to ignorance, conspiracy theories and science denying is not. That level of ignorance and arrogance is no more welcome in my home than racism or homophobia.