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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My in laws came for early lunch at 11:30 and they are still here

399 replies

DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 16:34

AIBU to think it is about time they pushed off?

I've fed them lunch, cheese, cake, mince pies, booze and endless cups of tea. We've 'done' presents. We've had the dull conversations about money (them) and covid (a hoax apparently). I have resisted plunging a knife into one or all of them.

I want a bath and a nice glass of wine and some P&Q. What is the etiquette for getting them gone?

OP posts:
BitterTits · 27/12/2021 21:51

Grin @littleroundrobin clutching those pearls tight

FOJN · 27/12/2021 21:53

Oh the OP is serious all right. I can tell. And I agree, she's not coming across well at ALL.

The OP is using humour to deflect the attempted flaming for her having the temerity to have had enough of entertaining after 5 hours and having done all the prep. I think she's doing a brilliant job of winding up the disapproving hoicky bossom brigade. She sounds like she's great fun.

PercyPiggington · 27/12/2021 21:53

So so lovely for all of you who have in-laws you like to spend time with/tolerate.
I’m really made up for you.
Not everyone lucked out.

Covidclaire · 27/12/2021 21:54

Amazing that it’s always the in laws that overstay their welcome…

saraclara · 27/12/2021 21:54

DIL can get up at the crack of dawn, cook and serve dinner, clear up and place out mince pies and drinks and then bugger off

Everyone posting about how hard OP worked is missing the point that she chose to. The PILs didn't demand it. She's not trained her DH to help/cook the whole dinner/clear up/whatever in the 25 years they've been together. So more fool her.

mrstrickland · 27/12/2021 21:56

@DownToTheSleighAgain I think you are hilarious 😂 keep the wit coming!

PercyPiggington · 27/12/2021 21:57

Maybe the OP doesn’t see her parents over Christmas?
Or they have a mince pie, cup of tea and leave?

CherryHug · 27/12/2021 22:00

Have you tried slapping your thighs and saying "Right then, I won't keep you any longer" standing and cheerily pushing them gently out the door?

Flobbertybillop · 27/12/2021 22:00

@FOJN

Oh the OP is serious all right. I can tell. And I agree, she's not coming across well at ALL.

The OP is using humour to deflect the attempted flaming for her having the temerity to have had enough of entertaining after 5 hours and having done all the prep. I think she's doing a brilliant job of winding up the disapproving hoicky bossom brigade. She sounds like she's great fun.

I agree. The op sounds brilliant, doesn’t take herself as seriously as some on here.
worriedatthemoment · 27/12/2021 22:01

Is it not your dh house as well and he wants them there ?

Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 22:02

@saraclara

DIL can get up at the crack of dawn, cook and serve dinner, clear up and place out mince pies and drinks and then bugger off

Everyone posting about how hard OP worked is missing the point that she chose to. The PILs didn't demand it. She's not trained her DH to help/cook the whole dinner/clear up/whatever in the 25 years they've been together. So more fool her.

I did work hard and I don't resent it. Having all his family over made DH happy and I love him so making him happy makes me happy.

I was just ready for them to go home after spending five hours holding my tongue in an effort not to stab any of them for their views.

They showed no sign of leaving.

I posted on MN.
Eventually they went.
I bathed for a very long time.
I drank wine (in moderation).
The End.

Also I learnt that some people are very keen on bath overflows and others are devoid of even the smallest sense of humour.

Such is the vivid tapestry that is life.

OP posts:
Lemonlady22 · 27/12/2021 22:04

I hope my son and DIL don't think this

Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 22:05

@Lemonlady22

I hope my son and DIL don't think this
Do you think covid is a fuss about nothing and that Donald Trump is a great businessman? If you do then I am sorry to say that they might...
OP posts:
worriedatthemoment · 27/12/2021 22:07

@DownToTheSleighAgain i find it strange how people can only converse with those of the same opinion
Sure voice your own and disagree but people don't always have to agree

worriedatthemoment · 27/12/2021 22:08

@DownToTheSleighAgain and yes my parents think covid is real but people are going overboard about and are of the opinion we need to live with it
I have different views on lots of things to do with covid but we are adults and can agree to disagree

LittleRoundRobin · 27/12/2021 22:09

[quote Cornettoninja]@LittleRoundRobin funny how people read these things differently isn’t it? From where I’m sitting the OP is coming across as positively delightful compared to some posters who’ve decided to unleash their bile over a fairly innocuous thread.

You have to wonder why people are so offended at the idea someone may not be jumping for joy at the idea relatives can be hard work.[/quote]
Yes, funny isn't it? How some people are seeing the OP as rude, anti-social, and mean spirited. I can't imagine why. Wink

@DownToTheSleighAgain

If you had sat a GCSE in 'knowing what people think' based on this assertion of knowing what I think I am sorry to say that you would have failed.

I don't think so mate.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 27/12/2021 22:21

@MilesJuppIsMyBitch

I am enjoying the huffing and bosom-hoiking, though.

It's high-quality.

And the posters who are sad on behalf of parents who are not welcome in their adult children's homes? Is that bosom-hoiking too?

The OP is revelling in her Lower 6th rebelliousness. Maybe she'll lean out of her bedroom and smoke a fag next?

One day she may not be welcome in her own children's homes. Interesting that the OP and her fans on here don't want to engage with that point.

DebbieHarrysCheekbones · 27/12/2021 22:21

Fucking hell there are some absolutely batshit uptight nutters on this thread tonight

@DownToTheSleighAgain

I wonder if it will become a classics thread. The hatred for your overflow is just pure mumsnet

Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 22:26

There's a big gap between 'never welcome' and 'had enough of them for today thank you please'.

A controversial view it seems.

Also I expect I will rot in hell when my DC finally up and leave. Here's hoping that DH is with me so that we may rot together, pickled in our own misery. Who knows - we may end up poisoned to death by an infection caused by an overflow surrounded by black goop.

OP posts:
FOJN · 27/12/2021 22:30

DownToTheSleighAgain

I think I love you a little bit more with every post, you're hilarious.

FuckeryIsAfoot · 27/12/2021 22:33

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow

But they were welcome. For lunch. Lunch is a couple of hours, not a full day.

People really are rude. If I'm invited to lunch, I will eat, if I'm offered coffee after I will accept if I have time and about 20 or 30 minutes into the coffee I will say something along the lines of "right, I should leave you to get on with your day!". The host will then get a chance to say something polite like "it's been great having you and let's do it again soon" or "oh, won't you stay for another cup?". That's what polite people do. Family or friend, it doesn't matter.

SimpsonsXmasBoogie · 27/12/2021 22:38

I think if you've served them lunch and spent hours after lunch doing tea and snacks and socialising with them, it's totally fine to now go for a bath. Surprised at some of the comments on here.

Although my DH very rarely gets to see his parents because of the distance, so I am aware that they may appreciate me disappearing for an hour or two so they can spend some time just with him.

It hadn't occured to me that this might seem rude! I hope I haven't offended them Blush

Furries · 27/12/2021 22:43

Jesus, the bar for hilarious is fairly low!

As an aside, I don’t get why (mainly) women complain about hosting in-laws. If you begrudge doing it (which the OP seems to) then just don’t do it. Tell your (oh, he’s great really) husband to get shit sorted for hosting. If he doesn’t, then tough luck. Just make it known on the day - sorry there’s no food, your son forgot. Sorry there’s no drink, your son forgot, sorry the house looks like we’ve been burgled, your son couldn’t be arsed.

Don’t moan about what time you got up, how much cooking/cleaning you’ve done etc. If you’ve been with him that long then you’re part of the problem re how useless he is.

I’m not a fan of reality tv, but one concept I’d probably watch is one where a number of households have blokes left on their own for six months. Not on a desert island, or out in the wilderness. In a normal home - that has heating, hot water, appliances etc. A large number would either have a meltdown or expect a bloody medal at the end of it.

Holly60 · 27/12/2021 22:48

I agree with a PP, OP’s ‘wit’ reminds me of a teenager trying, but just failing, to mimic acerbic irony.

pilates · 27/12/2021 22:52

^
🤣