Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My in laws came for early lunch at 11:30 and they are still here

399 replies

DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 16:34

AIBU to think it is about time they pushed off?

I've fed them lunch, cheese, cake, mince pies, booze and endless cups of tea. We've 'done' presents. We've had the dull conversations about money (them) and covid (a hoax apparently). I have resisted plunging a knife into one or all of them.

I want a bath and a nice glass of wine and some P&Q. What is the etiquette for getting them gone?

OP posts:
Furries · 27/12/2021 22:52

@Holly60

I agree with a PP, OP’s ‘wit’ reminds me of a teenager trying, but just failing, to mimic acerbic irony.
Yup. Reading some of the replies has been interesting. But to OP’s posts have just invoked a few yawns from me.
Meraas · 27/12/2021 22:56

@Holly60

I agree with a PP, OP’s ‘wit’ reminds me of a teenager trying, but just failing, to mimic acerbic irony.

It seems that you’re failing to mimic basic human decency, Holly.

Or else you’re fumming that OP is able to rise against your increasingly desperate and nasty comments and ignore you.

Holly60 · 27/12/2021 22:58

[quote Meraas]@Holly60

I agree with a PP, OP’s ‘wit’ reminds me of a teenager trying, but just failing, to mimic acerbic irony.

It seems that you’re failing to mimic basic human decency, Holly.

Or else you’re fumming that OP is able to rise against your increasingly desperate and nasty comments and ignore you.[/quote]
I’ve never been fumming in my life, I’m afraid….

Stiffcondomhat · 27/12/2021 23:00

One day she may not be welcome in her own children's homes. Interesting that the OP and her fans on here don't want to engage with that point.

I for one am very much looking forward to not being welcome in my adult children's homes. I'll be proud that they have families of their own and don't need to mither me.

Meraas · 27/12/2021 23:01

@Holly60

Your style of writing suggests otherwise.

Holly60 · 27/12/2021 23:02

[quote Meraas]@Holly60

Your style of writing suggests otherwise.[/quote]
My ability to spell, you mean?

Meraas · 27/12/2021 23:03

Your lack of nuance.

SmellyOldPartridgeinaPearTree · 27/12/2021 23:04

[quote Meraas]@Holly60

I agree with a PP, OP’s ‘wit’ reminds me of a teenager trying, but just failing, to mimic acerbic irony.

It seems that you’re failing to mimic basic human decency, Holly.

Or else you’re fumming that OP is able to rise against your increasingly desperate and nasty comments and ignore you.[/quote]
Ding dong I have a house in Christmas mumsnet bingo Xmas Grin

CovoidOfAllHumanity · 27/12/2021 23:05

I often slope off upstairs for a bath or a nap after hosting MIL for many hours
I justify this to myself (and to her and DH if necessary) by saying that I am sure she would like to spend some 1:1 time with him. She does like doing that actually so it's barely even an excuse. I also encourage him to take her out on her own
Or I have to stay late at work or book and on call shift when she is visiting.

I would have wanted to spend 1:1 time with my mum when she was alive and I think DH should do the same. I don't see why I need to be overly involved really beyond basic politeness. I find it an odd expectation of DILs that we should want to spend time with someone else's mother.
I don't dislike the woman but we have little in common and a number of topics we have to agree to disagree on.

Holly60 · 27/12/2021 23:06

@Meraas

Your lack of nuance.
Nuance was certainly not what I was going for here, I would agree with you.
Meraas · 27/12/2021 23:08

Yes, you wanted to make yourself feel better at the expense of OP, hope it worked.

Holly60 · 27/12/2021 23:09

@Meraas

Yes, you wanted to make yourself feel better at the expense of OP, hope it worked.
You seem very angry (sorry fumming) with me. I hope you are ok.
Furries · 27/12/2021 23:12

@CovoidOfAllHumanity

I often slope off upstairs for a bath or a nap after hosting MIL for many hours I justify this to myself (and to her and DH if necessary) by saying that I am sure she would like to spend some 1:1 time with him. She does like doing that actually so it's barely even an excuse. I also encourage him to take her out on her own Or I have to stay late at work or book and on call shift when she is visiting.

I would have wanted to spend 1:1 time with my mum when she was alive and I think DH should do the same. I don't see why I need to be overly involved really beyond basic politeness. I find it an odd expectation of DILs that we should want to spend time with someone else's mother.
I don't dislike the woman but we have little in common and a number of topics we have to agree to disagree on.

Now this, I get. Honest, looking at things from all sides and not trying to be hilariously sneery.
Holly60 · 27/12/2021 23:12

Anyway, I’m sure we’ve both enjoyed our little spat. Shall we leave it there, I’ve no idea why I’m still awake and on mumsnet. Ridiculous woman I am

Meraas · 27/12/2021 23:13

Well, I haven’t felt the need to tell a woman on the internet that I feel sorry for her husband after she’s cooked for and hosted his family all day, so I’d say I’m doing pretty well, actually, thanks for your concern. Smile

Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 23:13

If it is any consolation to the haters all is good here. Life is too short to take too much too seriously. Thank you for the comments. Better to let things out than eat you up inside. Tapestry of life and all that.

OP posts:
WinniesHunny · 27/12/2021 23:16

That is a hell of a whoosh. And it's keeping going on about the bad spelling too, whooshing itself over and over.

Meraas · 27/12/2021 23:16

Well said, OP. Goodnight Smile

BitterTits · 27/12/2021 23:16

Fucking hell, what has happened to Mumsnet? Christ-a-fucking-live.

CriminalOrator · 27/12/2021 23:23

What the fuck has gone on here? Are some of the clenched-bumhole posters just really pissed off their inlaws stayed for days?

I’m slightly agog at the rude posts about an OP, which accelerated and magnified in rudeness the fewer shits she gave, like the posters were absolutely gagging for her attention. Why?!

XmasCrap · 27/12/2021 23:27

@Stiffcondomhat

One day she may not be welcome in her own children's homes. Interesting that the OP and her fans on here don't want to engage with that point.

I for one am very much looking forward to not being welcome in my adult children's homes. I'll be proud that they have families of their own and don't need to mither me.

Definitely this! 👍
foxgoosefinch · 27/12/2021 23:31

@CriminalOrator

What the fuck has gone on here? Are some of the clenched-bumhole posters just really pissed off their inlaws stayed for days?

I’m slightly agog at the rude posts about an OP, which accelerated and magnified in rudeness the fewer shits she gave, like the posters were absolutely gagging for her attention. Why?!

There's a lot of internalised aggression going on for sure! I presume a lot of women trapped in some kind of hellish 1970s version of being a perfect daughter in law, who now explode at the suggestion that their DILs shouldn't necessarily have to do the same for them.

Like a female version of public school fagging, only with competitive Christmas lunches! How very dare there be an unscrubbed overflow when Hyacinth Bucket comes round, finally all agog for her turn to be waited on by her son's wife....?

When I go anywhere I cheerily ask at the start when the hosts would like the event to finish. Because actually being a good person, and being a good family member, is also about not pissing generous people off by overstaying your welcome like an arsehole, bleating about Donald Trump (ever heard about not discussing politics at dinner?) and wanting on about your favourite conspiracy theory.

KarmaStar · 28/12/2021 00:02

Humbug!😊 it's Christmas.⛄🤶🎅

WingingItSince1973 · 28/12/2021 00:16

I am so late to this thread but I became amused at the poster who must have enlarged your overflow to make a comment on its hygiene? Why would someone do that? 🤣 Plus it looked fine to me but then maybe I'm a dirty gezzy! Maybe we should start a new thread with pics of overflows and ratings out of 10! Anyway OP I adore my inlaws and don't see them as often as i would like. 20 of us was round there house on Xmas day. We all have such a laugh and enjoy each others company. The kids loved seeing their cousins etc etc. We all bring some food to save the host doing it all and we all pitch in. But after 4 hours I was ready to leave but then someone suggested a quiz!!! I was shattered and needed to cool off (peri) so excused myself and went and sat in another room. If I had to put up with controversial clap trap for 4 hours I would have really struggled. You had a long day and I hope you enjoyed your bath. We can love our family but not want to spend hours and hours with them. Sometimes it's just mentally exhausting and then the enjoyment can swing into resentment. Have enjoyed reading through, you sound like good fun. Hope you have a cleaner bath now!!!!! 😜

FuckeryIsAfoot · 28/12/2021 00:23

@KarmaStar

Humbug!😊 it's Christmas.⛄🤶🎅
Yeah. Exactly. So don't make my Christmas shitty by overstaying your welcome.
Swipe left for the next trending thread