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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My in laws came for early lunch at 11:30 and they are still here

399 replies

DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 16:34

AIBU to think it is about time they pushed off?

I've fed them lunch, cheese, cake, mince pies, booze and endless cups of tea. We've 'done' presents. We've had the dull conversations about money (them) and covid (a hoax apparently). I have resisted plunging a knife into one or all of them.

I want a bath and a nice glass of wine and some P&Q. What is the etiquette for getting them gone?

OP posts:
whynotwhatknot · 27/12/2021 21:23

i wouldnt have done all that int he firstplace if its dh family he does it all not me

Cornettoninja · 27/12/2021 21:23

Well at least you now know that pointing out your overflow to the IL’s should send them running Grin

FuckeryIsAfoot · 27/12/2021 21:23

@Mamamia7962

Meraas - My bathroom was cleaned on Christmas Eve so yes it is immaculate thank you.
If you can sit here judging OP's bath you can damn well show us a pic of yours. And no internet pics either, one with a note with your username on it.

Actually, scratch that. Even if you post one now, you will have been scrubbing it with bleach for the last 10+ minutes anyway.

DoctorSnortles · 27/12/2021 21:26

I’m very confused. Perhaps I wasn’t brought up properly or something, but MN seems full of people who seem to take as a personal affront having to be polite to relatives for a few hours once a year. Other people are a pain, but whatever happened to just being polite and tolerating them for a bit? Amazingly rude to go off in the middle of the afternoon, during a visit for a bath.

Mamamia7962 · 27/12/2021 21:26

Meraas - Oh yeah, because I'm really going to do that for some random stranger on the internet.

Staffy1 · 27/12/2021 21:27

Wow, it’s obviously one of those full moons in MN land and all the lemon suckers have ended up on this thread to take their misery out on the OP.

middleager · 27/12/2021 21:30

My inlaws stay for hours on end and don't get the hints. Whatever time they get here, they don't leave until 1am. Last time, I asked them at 4 and it was still 1am.
I have been known to go to bed. I have purposely chosen to visit them the last few times, as I can choose how long we stay.
I might be an IL one day, but I hope I could read the cues, understand that five hours is too long.

Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 21:30

@Staffy1

Wow, it’s obviously one of those full moons in MN land and all the lemon suckers have ended up on this thread to take their misery out on the OP.
Just so you know it hasn't worked. Bath was great. Wine greater. And no more in laws overstaying their welcome until next year ......oh Confused
OP posts:
Meraas · 27/12/2021 21:30

@Mamamia7962

Meraas - Oh yeah, because I'm really going to do that for some random stranger on the internet.
And yet you felt justified in making nasty comments to a random stranger on the internet about her bath?

Does the word hypocrisy mean anything to you?

ChateauxNeufDePoop · 27/12/2021 21:31

@DownToTheSleighAgain

I must admit that I am pretty impressed by how much it is possible to infer from my posts. I see that from them I am rightly the personification of DIL evil. I can only apologise.

And enjoy my bath. And wine.

Was this meant to be a serious thread or a bit tongue in cheek/venty type thing? Confused Cos if it's serious you don't come across well at all with your replies, if it's the latter then fair enough, how dare they invade your domain Grin
Mamamia7962 · 27/12/2021 21:33

Fuckeryisafoot - Hahaha you want me to put a note on my bath with my username on it and take a photo to prove it's my bath, that's hilarious.

MilesJuppIsMyBitch · 27/12/2021 21:35

I only read the OP's replies, and I thought they were funny. I'm going to use this emoji too: Confused

Anyway, I'm white-knighting, which is clearly not needed.

If I drink wine in the bath, I fall asleep, which is a Hazard.

me4real · 27/12/2021 21:35

I don't get why anyone thinks you're unreasonable. That's a long time for people not on your wavelength (or people in general maybe) to be there.

Glad you've got your bath and wine. x

LittleRoundRobin · 27/12/2021 21:35

Bloody hell, what a lot of fuss over nothing. Hmm

From the way you are going on @DownToTheSleighAgain anyone would think your in-laws had been there since 8am Christmas morning, (nearly 3 days,) not 5 hours.

What a misery you sound. I agree with many posters on here, I feel sorry for your husband AND your in laws tbh. Imagine having family around for Christmas, and sneaking off to post a mean-spirited thread like this on mumsnet, while they were there! Shock

I hope they see this tbh, then with a bit of luck they will never darken your doorstep again, so you won't have to be arsed with them.

Shame you hadn't put a poll up on here. I reckon it would have been 90% YABU.

And the more you post, the worse you sound.

@PercyPiggington

On the rare occasions my in-laws come round, I actively disappear for a long bath. Just go upstairs for an hour, come down in your pyjamas and they might get the hint.

I agree with @Ihopeyourcakeisshit, how rude and nasty.

MilesJuppIsMyBitch · 27/12/2021 21:36

I am enjoying the huffing and bosom-hoiking, though.

It's high-quality.

LittleRoundRobin · 27/12/2021 21:37

@ChateauxNeufDePoop

Was this meant to be a serious thread or a bit tongue in cheek/venty type thing? confused Cos if it's serious you don't come across well at all with your replies.

Oh the OP is serious all right. I can tell. And I agree, she's not coming across well at ALL.

Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 21:38

@Mamamia7962

Fuckeryisafoot - Hahaha you want me to put a note on my bath with my username on it and take a photo to prove it's my bath, that's hilarious.
I don't think it they do really. Just wanted to call you out for being rude. Because you were. You can stand your shining overflow down.
OP posts:
FuckeryIsAfoot · 27/12/2021 21:38

@Mamamia7962

Fuckeryisafoot - Hahaha you want me to put a note on my bath with my username on it and take a photo to prove it's my bath, that's hilarious.
Nah, I told you to scratch it because you have had plenty of time to scrub that grubby tub.

You do however seem like the sort of person who would grab a photo from Mrs. Hinch and claim it as your own.

GADDay · 27/12/2021 21:40

I think christmas should just be canned - opt out for those who hate family, visiting, socialising, eating, caring, fighting - basically being a family.

Clearly people hate putting themselves out for a minute longer than they are willing to give. So we should just no longer bother.

So much entitled uptightness. Why can't you just be normal - since when do we have to stand on ceremony around family. It's supposed to be relaxed and pleasant - not rigidly time bound, under duress.

Original poster
DownToTheSleighAgain · 27/12/2021 21:41

[quote LittleRoundRobin]@ChateauxNeufDePoop

Was this meant to be a serious thread or a bit tongue in cheek/venty type thing? confused Cos if it's serious you don't come across well at all with your replies.

Oh the OP is serious all right. I can tell. And I agree, she's not coming across well at ALL.[/quote]
If you had sat a GCSE in 'knowing what people think' based on this assertion of knowing what I think I am sorry to say that you would have failed.

OP posts:
Cornettoninja · 27/12/2021 21:41

@LittleRoundRobin funny how people read these things differently isn’t it? From where I’m sitting the OP is coming across as positively delightful compared to some posters who’ve decided to unleash their bile over a fairly innocuous thread.

You have to wonder why people are so offended at the idea someone may not be jumping for joy at the idea relatives can be hard work.

Benjispruce5 · 27/12/2021 21:44

I’d like to make invitations more explicit, so “Come for lunch 11.30-2.00.” Why don’t we do this? I have a MIL that doesn’t take a cue to leave. It means we don’t ask her over often. My DM would always make her excuses and then the onus was on us to say no, please stay longer, have another drink.

FOJN · 27/12/2021 21:48

OP what an awful human being you are, prepping food at 8am and hosting guests for 5 hours, you should have invited them to stay the week. And now we find out you're an absolute slattern in the housekeeping stakes. It's a good job it's 2021, you'd have been shunned in the1950's.... Grin

Hope you had a nice bath and enjoyed the wine.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 27/12/2021 21:48

The tinkly laugh people on here are the worst

Or the stabby ones…

FuckeryIsAfoot · 27/12/2021 21:50

@Benjispruce5

I’d like to make invitations more explicit, so “Come for lunch 11.30-2.00.” Why don’t we do this? I have a MIL that doesn’t take a cue to leave. It means we don’t ask her over often. My DM would always make her excuses and then the onus was on us to say no, please stay longer, have another drink.
I like that! It'd be like invites for kids birthday parties. Why is it that we have to give up the rest of the day when we invite someone over, even if they're invited in the morning? It's insane.

Next time, you should invite them for a late dinner. 8 pm or so. Surely they can't think it remotely okay to stay past 23?

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