feeling like I hate my baby

[Whitemousepinkears]

I don’t but I hate never sleeping and I feel so angry.

@Whitemousepinkears you poor thing. Solidarity - of course you don't hate your baby, but sleep deprivation is soul destroying. How old is your baby? What is their sleeping like? There are some wonderful people on here with lots of suggestions and lots of people who have been there and can give you a handhold, please post more if you can.

Is your baby very young. This stage passes, it doesn't feel like it but it will pass. While it happens don't try to do anything else but catch up on sleep, the house will stand being left unclean take a nap

So many suggestions seem to center around co sleeping and I hate it, when he’s like this I just don’t want him anywhere near me. I just want some space.

I’m fed up of never being able to relax, up every 2 hours. Just sick of it and I don’t regret him as such, I just wish he’d come to me at four or something as I can’t cope with never sleeping.

Also every time you feel angry please please please take a deep breath and put your baby down somewhere safe, leave them and keep breathing / get yourself a drink, don't go back until you feel calmer. That does not make you a bad parent.

I can’t though because he screams and it winds me up even more. It’s horrible I get angry when he’s upset but I do.

No it’s been going on over a year @SuddenArborealStop and it feels like it will never, ever end.

Do you have anyone who can help so that you can get some sleep? Even a daytime sleep would help.

Do you know what the sleep issue is; any allergy reflux, illness or other cause? Have you tried safe cosleeping if it's just that your baby won't be put down to rest alone?

No and I’m working as well which means I don’t get any down time. He only sleeps being held.

Awww I feel for you, have u got a partner? I breast fed and Co slept and yes a wasted my peace but they still want u coz ur there comfort and all they know. What's ur situation? X

Just seen your update. Co-sleeping does not work for everyone: my LO wakes more frequently / tries to play if brought into our bed, and I daren't have him in with me anyway now he is on the move. Are they old enough to consider sleep training? Not necessarily cry it out, there are other ways.

@whitemousepinkears what area do you live in?

@Whitemousepinkears mine were not sleepers, I know your pain...it does pass.. I won't say when it stopped for me because it could be tomorrow for you. Suffice to say I have been where you were and I have hated my children. I don't know if it's normal but I do know I survived. It's not a great pep talk but we all made it , so will you .

I just really hate co sleeping and he still wakes up constantly anyway. By now I’d just leave him to cry but it causes a lot of arguments between me and DH.

Sleep deprivation is brutal. It doesn't feel like it but it will end. Mine was waking up every hour to two hours at a year old. I don't remember when started sleeping through the night but eventually she did. Hang in there!!

Also, if you are finding the anger difficult to deal with then maybe speak to your GP or health visitor.

Finally is there anyone that you can help you and take him for a while? (Or plonk him in front of the TV. It might not be recommended but if you get an hour of sleep or so it will do you wonders).

He's a year old?

Honestly I'm not a fan of sleep training but if you're feeling like this then it is the lesser of two evils IMO.

Get him sleep trained.

Why @Bloomers58, sorry if I sound suspicious?

It doesn’t work @DifferentHair

Start small...during the day leave in cot/chair with radio/ TV on whilst u have 5 mins if stirring getting upset talk to him let him know u there, don't pick up. If u know he clean not hungry just leave for that extra 2mins not going to do any harm then work on ot that way? X

He sleeps OK in the day. It’s night that’s the problem.

@Whitemousepinkears

No it’s been going on over a year *@SuddenArborealStop* and it feels like it will never, ever end.

Please speak to your h v If he is a year old Then maybe investigate further What is going on Send him to nursery in day yime so you can nap

Was just going to Google a couple of things in your area to see if I could find someone comparable to someone who did wonders for my friend in Worcester

Does your husband also tend to him in the night?

If DH is keen to co-sleep can he sleep with him and you sleep in the spare room, or if you don't have one, DH can sleep between you so he's the one who has to deal with it when he wakes?

How do u feed him?

You have a DH who doesn’t want to let him cry but also isn’t the one getting up with him - it’s time to hand the nights over to him and take yourself off to sleep in the spare room or on the sofa. Either baby will start sleeping better when mummy isn’t on offer, or your husband will quickly come round to the idea of sleep training. It is not selfish to want to sleep, and it is not harmful to sleep train.