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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Did my father do this on purpose to really hurt me?

251 replies

Fairylights25 · 26/12/2021 12:19

I made a decision to see a parent that treated me very unkindly as a child to put it mildly yesterday. The advice from MN many years ago when he started the same behaviour towards my own children was to stop all contact, which I did as it was the best thing for them.

Fast forward two and a half years, my mother pleaded with me to come for Christmas, which also meant spending a few hours with the other parent. I considered it for a long time, children are now teenagers and said they were okay with it, dh promised he would make sure he was there for me and I had absolute assurances my father would be fine on the day.

All went well at the beginning, in the sense that we got on okay it was quite strained but civil and nice.

After lunch he said he had old films of me he was going to put on, I asked him not to at least four times. Maybe more actually. I find it very embarrassing. He insisted for the best part of an hour that he would play them anyway, even my children said no he should not put them on, as I clearly so uncomfortable.

He continued to play the films - all of them when I was struggling with my weight and looked absolutely awful in my early twenties the worst footage you could hope to find (I had bulimia at the time and would starve and then binge, binging was clearly winning at the time time)

At this point I was nearly in tears, red hot with embarrassment and demanded he turned it off, he did eventually very slowly not before letting it play for another five minutes. It totally ruined the day for me. Why choose the worst films he can find? Why do this when he knows how things are between us? And at Christmas?

Did he do this on purpose or am I am being over sensitive?

We left five minutes later and thanked them and took the dc home. I feel violated and hurt, and I don't know why.

OP posts:
Cheeeeislifenow · 26/12/2021 12:22

Your first instinct to cut contact with this toxic man is correct. He sounds nasty and vile I am sorry he did this to you and you don't deserve it. Next time your mother asks tell her no and if she cares about you she should listen to you.

wonderstuff · 26/12/2021 12:23

I'm so sorry. It sounds as though at best he completely ignored you, and given that this was a bridge building visit that really isn't okay. At worst he set out to do something he knew would upset you - I've no idea why someone would do this. Next time if your mum wants to see you she can come to you or meet on neutral ground without your father.

What is heartening is that your immediate family were supportive.

MatildaTheCat · 26/12/2021 12:24

I’m so sorry that sounds excruciating. However it sounds as if everyone else was completely supportive of you and disgusted with his spitefulness.

What a sad person he is.

Helpstopthepain · 26/12/2021 12:25

He sounds vile, I’m sorry that you had to go through that. Use it as a reminder for all of you of why you don’t have contact.
I have a parent like this, they don’t change.

Fairylights25 · 26/12/2021 12:25

I am trying to work out if he did this to embarrass me, but find myself imagining being in the same situation, and I would never continue anyway. I would never force that on someone else. I am really sad, unbelievably upset about it without really understanding why as it is 'just' an old video from twenty years ago but I am mortified.

OP posts:
Chamomileteaplease · 26/12/2021 12:25

You don't know why? Because this man has continued to abuse you and treat you unkindly.

I hope you never step foot over his door again.

Lovely that your dh and kids stuck up for you though.

catbsfhs · 26/12/2021 12:26

He sounds a horrible man and you absolutely should not have to go through another social gathering with him again. It's sad that your mum has stuck by him. It sounds like you've created your own lovely, supportive family to create beautiful memories with. Your kids will never be reluctant to have Christmas dinner with their parents when they're older🥰

EricCartmansGoatee · 26/12/2021 12:26

Your kids sound great.
He sounds horrible. I'd be tempted to write to the fucker and explain exactly why he won't be seeing you again.

Antiqueanniesmagiclanternshow · 26/12/2021 12:27

This exactly like hen party thrown by the evil stepmother in ' in her shoes'.
Absolutely he has done it to be mean!!

Brainwave89 · 26/12/2021 12:27

It sounds like he wanted to find a way to humiliate you, but in a way where he could say all he did was to put some videos on for old time sake. I have relatives like this OP. Your instincts were right first time. Never have any contact with him again. Especially not with your DC. Just because he is family does not mean you have to see him. NC and remain NC.

Theunamedcat · 26/12/2021 12:27

How unkind not to listen to you

I'm assuming they knew all about your eating disorder in which case its not just unkind but fucking appalling

Fairylights25 · 26/12/2021 12:28

He had one chance to be decent and kind, I am so angry I have given him another chance. I feel sick and it keeps going over and over. I am a recovered anorexic - bulimic. It has taken so much to overcome the condition and I had successfully managed it (to a point as we are always vulnerable to a relapse) I am now finding it hard to eat again.

OP posts:
inininsomnia · 26/12/2021 12:28

Don't wait til the next time your mother asks. Tell her now, while it's fresh in everyone's minds, that you made an effort to see him, he wilfully ignored your wishes, and that was his last chance. I don't think you're being oversensitive at all. I'm sorry that this happened and no-one else put a stop to it.

crankysaurus · 26/12/2021 12:31

That sounds horrible and that he knew exactly what he was doing. What was your mother's reaction? Has she ever understood why you didn't want to see him? Or understood but persisted anyway?

Fairylights25 · 26/12/2021 12:33

My teens were holding my hands bless them as I tried to get him to stop.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 26/12/2021 12:33

OP,

Deliberate and vile.

Your instincts were correct.

Your mother also allowed this to happen.

Never see him again. Ever.

As for your mother, she is no better.

Try to reframe this in your head.

You gave him a final chance and now you NEVER have to see him again.

The correct action would have been to pack up and leave and hopefully you will learn from this.

This is 100% on your parents.

Flowers
Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 26/12/2021 12:33

Who the fuck voted yabu?. Sorry your df is still a cunt op..
Stay away forever..
Mine let me down and my dc. Been nc for over 20 years. No regrets..

MrsMadderRose · 26/12/2021 12:33

Urgh how awful, you poor thing op. My mum is a bit like this and I’d say yes it sounds like him trying to make you suffer out of resentment that you cut him out. What a horrible bastard.

You have done nothing wrong, not now, not in the past and you have no need to feel any shame at all. Honestly you had every right to stand up and walk out with your family the second he put them on. Or go and switch the mains off.

I want to give you a big hug. This is on him not you and I’d never be seeing him again. Flowers

crankysaurus · 26/12/2021 12:34

You sound like you have lovely children and DH at least.

HoardingSamphireSaurus · 26/12/2021 12:34

Yes! Take up those reins, OP. Tell your mother, right now, today, that she should never suggest anything like this again. You took the offer at face value and he used it to hurt you. Never again!

Hopefully that little bit of taking control, externalising your anger, will help with your thoughts on eating.

Your kids and DH sound great!

UserBot · 26/12/2021 12:35

He did something you asked him numerous times not to do and he went ahead and did it anyway.

I'd give them a swerve. I agree that you should tell your mother. You lowered your defences for the last time.

Frazzled50yrold · 26/12/2021 12:35

As a parent, regardless of how vile he's been in the past, he perhaps didn't see the younger you in the way that you do. He should have listened to you when you protested about the films but I'm not sure he was being deliberately nasty.

Fairylights25 · 26/12/2021 12:35

My mother could see my reaction perfectly and suddenly made herself busy in the kitchen. My dh was walking the dogs and only came back at the end, and could see the horror on my face as he walked in, and suggested immediately now was a good moment to head home because of the traffic.

I can't actually believe he has done this. I literally can't believe he would be this unkind, so I keep questioning whether he did it to be nice as no one surely could be that spiteful.

OP posts:
MrsMadderRose · 26/12/2021 12:35

Oh and I say this as someone who did stop seeing my own abusive father in my early 20s. Another sibling gave him a second chance, he continued to behave appallingly, so no more second chances. It’s OK to have no contact with a nasty hurtful abusive parent. It’s fine.

daretodenim · 26/12/2021 12:36

What he did was spiteful. He's a dick.

But, kindly, you're asking the wrong question here. You're focussing on him "why did he do that?" when in reality it doesn't matter. What matters is you.

I would (with a parent who's a dick in another way) place a mental barrier by that question. Any time you find yourself wondering, check in on yourself. How are you feeling? What do you feel like doing? What are you going to be doing later/tonight/tomorrow?

Fuck him.

His treatment if you has nothing whatsoever to do with you. Your mother's tolerance of it similarly has nothing to do with you.

You've done great things. You've worked (hard) to manage your eating disorder. You've quite clearly brought up lovely children.

The asshole who sperm donated and then lived in your childhood home deserves no space in your head. I know it's easier said than done at times, but I also know you've successfully managed a ED. He's nothing in comparison to that!

I'm really, really sorry that he did this to you though. YANBU to be upset by it.