Is this present having a dig at me

[Welshlavalove]

Don’t really see partners mum since covid as lives a couple of hours away and she never travels . Previously it was small talk every few months . She came for Christmas lunch and this was my present . Aibu in thinking she is far shaming me ? When ever she sees her slightly overweight son she makes comments about how he looks pregnant . I used to run a lot don’t now .

Rude and nasty.

Your Partner needs to be realistic and understand it from your point of view. If he allows this behaviour now, he'll NEVER stand up to her. He doesn't need to bring it to her attention necessarily but he does need to show you empathy for the way it made you feel. He needs to be understanding to your feelings. He doesn't need to take a side, he does need to listen to you and how it's made you feel. For the longevity of your relationship he needs to listen otherwise her uncouth sense of humour may continue into the future and that won't help your relationship with your partner unless he listens and understands now so that if it does continue, and you love him, he learns to understand you love him but can't be around someone who makes comments like that because it's hurtful. I had to do something similar with my MIL's best friend. I have a great relationship with my MIL but I don't associate with her best friend.

Send it back to her with a note saying "Returning your pillow to you, you must have accidentally wrapped one of your own belongings!"

I have to add my experience of a gift. I suffer with acne and scarring, and a beautiful acquaintance wrapped up some concealor for my birthday. Nothing gifty, just a tube of concealor. I was so embarrassed.

@Mandyjack

What a bitch! Did she have it personalised or something? Is she super slim and perfect?

No she isn’t, I don’t think she exercises ever .

Awful present, I'd regift it back to her for her birthday, definitely passive aggressive!

If she's on Mumsnet you probably won't have to say anything OP...

@KittensWearingWoollyMittens

If she's on Mumsnet you probably won't have to say anything OP...

She doesn’t use the internet so I am fine

I’d reply with something similar for next birthday

She doesn’t use the internet so I am fine all good then OP 😊

She got it custom made for you, its vile and you should confront her over it.

And don’t regift it, not even to MIL. You are made of better stuff than that nasty woman.

Normally I'd say regift or charity shop but no one deserves to receive that- bin it.

That has to be the worst gift I have ever seen. So rude! Really sorry that you’ve had to receive that.

Awful present even for your best mate let alone your DIL.

I agree with the re-gifting. That is unbelievably rude and bitchy. I wouldn't give that to anyone under any circumstances. What does your partner say about it? Perhaps you should reuse the slogan and make her a t-shirt for a present on New Year's Eve!

Shocking. What a cow.

OP, FYI, These are sold as plaques with Same wording on Amazon
www.amazon.co.uk/Birthday-Occasion-Jogging-Together-Knickers/dp/B005RN2JW2?tag=mumsnetforu03-21. My son bought one for his best mate.

(Sorry don’t know how to link). Notice described as “fantastic gift”, and has 4* reviews. Maybe she has the same humour as these reviewers and did not mean to offend?

I commend you for being willing to give her the benefit of doubt OP that shows your a gracious considerate person which is just beautiful but going to be utterly trampled on by this woman if you don't put some barriers up.
I am so glad you binned the gift. You need that memory of where that message and gift belonged. You are not to be trashed by this woman and I hope your partner can see through all this if not find a way to keep her at a distance.
You'll never make sense of her amusement because your not that sick in the head Thankfully . I knew someone who used to come out with nasty comments about weight. He would literally weigh people up and it all stemmed from his mother being exactly the same. They like playing with people's emotions for their own amusement. It's a very nasty way of playing with people. I would call it bullying actually. I spent my entire younger years trying really hard to give them the benefit of doubt because they were family and you won't be able to re educate them how to play nicely they just have a perversion I am afraid that's how you see that treatment as perverse. It's not how you treat fellow humans at any time of the year. It's not about weight it's about making you feel bad about yourself.
Power is not all about size it comes in many forms. It's absurd to think that being smaller makes you a superior being as much as being larger doesn't give you more Power. Unless you can literally crush her with your thighs? Which sadly again is just a perverse fantasy. You see how absurd the whole judging on body mass is? It's not where our true values should be placed. I just wish you Good Health which is the best revenge just take damn good care of yourself and the ones you love. Treasure them xx

I think I would re cover it and then tell her it was an extremely upsetting gift. Why shouldn’t she be told? She needs to stop it.

Possibly is a dig but it's a horrible cushion anyway so I'd give it to a charity shop.

I came back on to say that if my mother had seen something like this she probably would have bought it for me. I’ve never been a jogger (deformed leg) and I’m not even overweight. She was anorexic and absolutely fucked in the head. Her self-esteem absolutely centered around being thin (especially thinner than her sister with whom she was in an unnecessary, one-sided competition from childhood.) She couldn’t go anywhere without commenting on stranger’s figures amd what they were eating. She monitored every mouthful I ate and judged my outfits, hairdos, etc on whether they were “slimming.” She made gagging noises and gurned maniacally at the thought of any fat in her food, and she chain-smoked so heavily, one couldn’t wash and dry clothes in her house without them coming out stinking of cigarettes, and she ended up with COPD, and a slow-growing lung cancer that eventually went to her brain. Prior to becoming that ill, food and diet had always been her constant narrative to the point that it was actually mortifying to take her out… She once yelled “Would you look at the size of that lesbian’s bum!” While I was standing right next to the poor lady. I thought she was going to lose her cool (quite rightly so!) so I apologized profusely and said that my mother had no filter due to her dementia. The lady and her partner had been through all of that with their parents and were so kind - a lot more understanding than my mother deserved.

Where is she planning to go for Christmas next year?

I have a SIL - under 5ft, dress size 30ish and counting - I see her rarely, but always greets me with "hello, haven't you put a lot of weight on" - I am overweight, but around 16/18 dress size - and it's not soemthing I'd dream of saying to anyone.

People are really falling over themselves to be offended here. She thought it was funny and though you might too. You said yourself you gave up running so she saw it and thought it would make you laugh. It didn’t, that’s ok. I’m sure she didn’t mean to cause offence. There’s nothing in your OP that indicates you don’t get on. Perhaps if you see her more she might get to know more about you.

@Watchamocauli They are not custom. £3.99 (plus postage) on ebay.

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/141039142509?hash=item20d696866d:g:e0IAAOxy0P1SDgXH

If she doesn't use the Internet, then I wonder if it was a re-gift.

Sew a piece of material over it and embroider on it 'Thank heavens we can at least pick our friends if not our family' or something else poignant - make sure it's on display if you ever let her back in your home