To be so embarrassed by my DP’s behaviour at the table

[Soembarrrrassed]

Christmas dinner at my mums this year. DP has been quite sulky not really joining in. Mum spent ages trying to make dinner perfect. He starts eating and says ‘sorry I’m going to have to spit this out it’s too fatty’, and almost spat it out at the table before I asked him to leave to do it. Then when everyone else was still eating, got up as soon as he was finished to go for a cigarette, leaving my family feeling really awkward. We’ve been together three years, it’s never happened before - AIBU to feel really embarrassed by this?

2 little words, Ignorant Pig !

@BerryBe

Was he drunk?

still not an excuse !

@KatherineJaneway

Considering what looks like lots of behaviour the OP's rose tinted glasses might have missed, I think it is significant

Absolutely agree. (This rose tinted view is currently impacting with at least two relatives my side)

I would have thought that an adult woman would not, over a three year period, miss the sort of transgressions that warranted an immediate break up, unless pointed out by her mother.

Clearly you have a lot to learn

Interesting, maybe you missed passed incidents because he was careful not to show true colours and he's getting comfortable or maybe you were so loved up that you were blinkered.

The smoking I agree it is rude to leave while eating to go and smoke but if I was willing to go out with a smoker this wouldn't be a dealbreaker. However the rudeness to family could be. Maybe you need to take a gigs look at this man and see what you think

privately apologised to my mum and she just said it wasn’t the first time something like this had happened

This does not sound good. What have you missed.

I used to hate having my parents judge my friends. Now I have come round and value their opinion.

If you really don't know, can you ask your mother about the other incidents. If they are as bad as this, I would reevaluate the relationship.

If yes, absolutely have a calm word with him about his rudeness, but that's it. Live with it - there is no such thing as an OH who never rubs you the wrong way.

@BellatricksStrange The thing is he's not just rubbed OP up the wrong way, he's offended her family, and she now finds out it's several times.

Gross uncivilised behaviour. Wouldnt want to share a meal table with him, let alone anything else.