“Please have lunch ready for 1pm. Thankyou.”

[diydh]

I’m interested to know if anyone else’s husband would say this in the morning before disappearing into his office for several hours. Please be honest.

YABU - yes, fair enough
YANBU - no, he is being quite bossy

"Ring for the housekeeper and ask her to have a word with the cook for you darling. I'm going out."

Only if he didn't mind wearing said dinner

Mine wouldn't dare
If he wants lunch at a certain time he cooks it

But to be honest, I wouldn’t expect anyone to be spoken to like that. We have a nanny for our kids, who is a paid “member of staff”, and even then, on the rare occasions I’ve asked for help with lunch, I would say something along the lines of “hey, I have back-to-back meetings today, but have a 15 minute gap at 1pm. Is there any chance you could pop the Chili from the fridge into the microwave a few minutes before that, please, so I can run down and grab it? Thank you!”

I can't imagine my husband saying that at all. Perhaps if we decided to try some food related role play.

This is one of the things you need to be able to close down with a hard stare.

That kind of expectation is not the norm in my marriage, even though we both work from home currently and I often make lunch for both of us. DH would never speak to me like I was the housekeeper.

I just asked my husband if he would ever say that to me. He replied ‘that would be a dangerous thing to say’ and sort of smiled.
Maybe a really dreadful sandwich left in the side since 9:00am and you go out for the day.
Appreciate this may not be possible if you are in an abusive situation

Not unless it was in response to you saying “what time would you like me to have lunch ready for you your highness “

What's the big deal? You're married. Sometimes you can make lunch for each other.

I voted Yanbu, but I don't agree with your options.
My yanbu is "No, because he's not a child nor am I his servant"
My DH makes his own lunch, because I'm also working.

It's not even a question, is it? You're being given instructions as though you're a member of staff.

Not a chance that my DH would dare come out with that!

Nope. I’m a sahm so I usually make lunch but I can’t imagine this ever happening.

If my DH said this to me it’d take me until 1pm to stop laughing at him.

No because he has more sense and desire to live than that!

Seriously though, if he'd said that to me he'd be coming down to a plate with a note on it saying I'm not your personal chef. You don't give me instructions.

@N0tfinished

I would openly scoff at him if he delivered it in that tone. If he said 'Babe, I'm up the walls today, any chance of a bit of lunch at 1?' I would probably do it.

Absolutely agree!

He needs to make his own lunch.

@foobio - I'm with you ( but it depends on the tone ) if he said - really busy - any chance you could make a sandwich for me for 1pm - I would do it. He is asking for help - not treating me like a housekeeper. Probably has about 10 mins until next call & I am not as busy. If he spoke to me like I was downstairs Downton Abbey - less chance of lunch

We both WFH, and usually have a discussion around what time we’ll have lunch. So I’ll say ooooh I need to finish lunch by 1:30 as I’ve got a meeting at 2 and need to prep or whatever.

I’ve never in my life ordered lunch like that. And I wouldn’t expect or put up with DH ordering me around like that either. He’s more than capable of getting lunch for himself/us.

What did you say to him?

That message is ridiculous, if phrased that way. What are you, his servant??

However, DH is on holiday, I'm WFH and had a back to back day slammed with zoom calls - I did say in the morning that I only had a gap between 12 and 12.30. He had lunch ready for all of us at 12 (I was totally happy to make it and eat al desko if necessary).

@WasgijGods

If he had an exceptionally busy day and asked nicely

"I'm really busy today and won't have time to make lunch, would you mind making me a sandwich or something for 1pm please?"

Fine.

They way you've phrased it there, nope! Not a chance!

Agree.

I cannot imagine either of us ever saying that. And we've both been so busy that we have made flasks up in the morning as we won't have time to even make a coffee later

Mine wouldn't dream of it. As a functioning adult he can open the fridge all by himself, and he has hands to make his own lunch with.

Yes this is as I thought. And yes, his words were - “darling, please have lunch ready for one o’clock, Thankyou.’ Then he just sort of walks off.

He will think this is totally normal and he’s just trying to be helpful in communicating his schedule. That’s what he would say.

Only if we were joking. He’d never say that seriously and I’d injure a rib laughing so hard if he ever did.

Do you normally make his lunch when he’s WOTH?
Do you take it in turns to make lunch?
Would you say this to him if you were working?

Because it sounds an odd thing to say to a partner, even a bit short to say it to a junior colleague at work.