tat from B&M for christmas

[tatfrombandm]

This didn't happen today but I've been feeling somewhat unreasonably cross at DP for about a week now as I know I'm being ungreatful, some people get nothing. I didn't know the bags in the hall were for christmas so I had a peek to see where things go to put it away, but as they appeared to be gifts I didn't touch them. DP had just come back from B&M and was in bed with netflix. DP later tells me not to look in the bags as they're presents from me. They are cheap, and unthoughtful gifts ie low end chocolates, cheap shower products that will make me itch (he knows I've got sensitive skin) And I'd rather he hadn't got me anything at all as I get chocolate every other week anyway in the main supermarket shop. I'm not sure what the purpose of this thread is other than complaining but I suppose you lot can use this thread for complaining about tat from B&M. And for the record the presents I got for him were well thought out and expensive

@Silvershroud

Tbh, buying presents irritates me, when it is for grown-ups. Children, I get it, they get excited and they don't have their own money- but adults? Just a card is enough, unless you know someone is a bit hard up and could do with something they can't usually afford.

Yeah, I agree. The other thing is that children usually have a VERY specific gift list, often down to the catalogue page number for Santa so they usually get exactly what they want (budget considering) and are very happy. By the time you're in your 30s most people have bought themselves the stuff they need or want if they have a job. I used to find it irritating having to buy for grown working adults at Christmas when I was a skint SAHM and had to go without buying myself needed basic stuff through the year so we could afford to buy the kids what they wanted for Christmas as well as buying for adults who probably had all they needed anyway. It used to clean me out financially. In return I got stuff from other adults I usually neither wanted or needed, so I had the guilt of their wasted money on top of an unwanted present as well as being left skint buying them stuff they probably neither wanted or needed. It used to feel like a load of money had changed hands, a load of stuff had been passed around but how come at the end of it there were still some adults taking part in all that who were left without the essential stuff they needed through the year?! It's a total nonsense.

Nowadays I am ok for money but I mean, if my slippers fall apart in September, which they did this year, I don't want to wait till Christmas for someone to buy me some. So I bought myself some in September! Similarly with gloves. I already have a pair of leather gloves and a woolly pair, that's all the gloves I need. Another pair would be unwanted and pointless. If I happened to lose both in October I'd need to buy myself a pair as, you know, it gets cold before Christmas Day!

Buying me a top or something is pointless as it's probably not what I'd choose for myself, or it will not be a good fit.

I just don't get presents for adults at all, particularly these days when even perfume is so overpriced so too much for one person to buy unless they're a partner or generous parent.

OP: next year you need to tell him what you want.

I would remove his gifts from under the tree. When he asks why I would tell him you are waiting to see if that bag full of crap from B and M were your Xmas presents cos if they are then he is not getting his extremely well thought out presents.

Get rid of the bag of b and m stuff so when he goes to wrap it you can say, 'oh sorry I assumed you were joking when you said that b and m stuff was my present...'

@Rubytoos It's the exact same brands that are sold in other shops at a mark up.

What are his gifts to you previously? Is this unusual or has he got history for buying you tat

Why are you putting up with this. He should have a goat from oxfam, or donation to watand

Wateraid😠😟

@JesusSufferingFuck22

Maybe he's winding you up. If he's not, then I bet it feels a bit crap. Go out and buy similar for him. Pretend it's his main present when you give it to him and check his reaction. If all those bits are your main present, return his expensive one after Christmas. If he's gotten you something with a bit more thought, give him his expensive one. It maybe comes over as a bit shallow but getting utter shite for a present is hurtful when you've gone to the effort of choosing them something they'd like.

My dh asked me what I wanted for Christmas. He asked me to give him a list of things. I did but told him to only choose one thing from the list. They varied from £10-£70. He's already told me he's not getting me any of the things on my list. He doesn't think I need them
I asked him what he wanted. He told me but won't tell me what kind to get. It's for a hobby. He just said to give him a homemade voucher or something and give it to him when he next needs it.
I expect he'll last minute think he needs to get me something and I'll end up with stuff I can't use.....and then I'll feel bad for not getting him anything even though he said not to
I really don't like Christmas.

You know what to do, surely. You don't think he needs the thing he wants for his hobby and you can give him a homemade voucher for something that won't cause you any work.

My aunt always said she didn't want anything for Christmas, moaned that people got her gifts. So one year my cousins and uncle called her bluff. She never said she didn't want anything again.

You should be grateful
Boohoo you have a loving partner who cared enough to go out and buy you gifts.
How sad for you
And btw I will not use this thread to "complain about tat from b&m"
I actually think they have some good items in there

God I can't remember the last time we could afford to buy each other a present! All of our money goes on the kids. We will have more years without small kids than with.

@harriethoyle

Cheers *@PumpkinEye* !

I'm just here for the "this is too outing" deletion message. Or the fulsome apology to the fuck off club. Might not hold my breath for the latter!

Just spat my coffee out

Agree that @unshinecake1 wasn't being at all rude

Squeezeita The money for my trip to Cortez will come out of his wallet and for whatever takes my fancy at the moment it is a toss up between a few Herdwicks or Valais blacknose.

@LowlandLucky I had to google that! I want one for mine own christmas present now..

@Jacketpotato84

You should be grateful Boohoo you have a loving partner who cared enough to go out and buy you gifts. How sad for you And btw I will not use this thread to "complain about tat from b&m" I actually think they have some good items in there

oh for gods sake raise your bar woman!

My heart always sinks when people buy me toiletries because what I routinely use is very nice stuff, nicer than M&S, for example. It's not snobbery, it's just about what you like to treat yourself with. A small quantity of something expensive is much better than a large quantity of something cheap.

You may be getting ahead of yourself, since they could just be extras and stocking fillers and he still could have got you a main present. If it's all edibles/drinks, then it's a bit naff, but to be fair B&M do some nice homewear stuff, which would be fairly thoughtful. It sounds like he's trying by going out and getting stuff though! I have to heavily, heavily drop hints about an exact item that I want for mine.

I’m so sorry OP, this is horrid for you. I suspect it’s also part of a wider problem of him not putting any care of effort into the relationship? Does he ever get you a cup of tea? Offer to give you a break from cooking/looking after kids/planning anything? Does he ever record something on the reply he think you’d like? If he doesn’t do anything like that anymore, I think this is a symptom of a wider problem and he might have checked out of the relationship.

@LowlandLucky

Squeezeita The money for my trip to Cortez will come out of his wallet and for whatever takes my fancy at the moment it is a toss up between a few Herdwicks or Valais blacknose.

Had to google too, the valais blacknose are so cute.

@FredWinnie you won't sleep a wink with coffee at this time... Join the FOC in a wee sherry! (nearest MN emoji to sherry, soz)

@LowlandLucky we're planning shetlands which are ludicrously pretty. and a couple of goats because who doesn't need a pet that's always up for a naughty ruck!

I'd be gutted too. Cheap is fine if it's thoughtful/meaningful eg related to a shared joke or an old favourite from childhood.

It's not ok for him to get a bag of crap thats worse than your normal stuff and call that a gift.

I think you'll have to ask him for something specific. At least get something decent then. Oh, and learn your lesson; don't do gifts!

@DemBonesDemBones

God I can't remember the last time we could afford to buy each other a present! All of our money goes on the kids. We will have more years without small kids than with.

Not the same situation then. Most families do have the money for Christmas presents.

@Jacketpotato84

You should be grateful Boohoo you have a loving partner who cared enough to go out and buy you gifts. How sad for you And btw I will not use this thread to "complain about tat from b&m" I actually think they have some good items in there

Picking up tat from b&m is love now?

If it looks abusive written down it almost certainly is in reality. The poor choice of gifts is thoughtless at best. His behaviour towards you is far worse.