tat from B&M for christmas

[tatfrombandm]

This didn't happen today but I've been feeling somewhat unreasonably cross at DP for about a week now as I know I'm being ungreatful, some people get nothing. I didn't know the bags in the hall were for christmas so I had a peek to see where things go to put it away, but as they appeared to be gifts I didn't touch them. DP had just come back from B&M and was in bed with netflix. DP later tells me not to look in the bags as they're presents from me. They are cheap, and unthoughtful gifts ie low end chocolates, cheap shower products that will make me itch (he knows I've got sensitive skin) And I'd rather he hadn't got me anything at all as I get chocolate every other week anyway in the main supermarket shop. I'm not sure what the purpose of this thread is other than complaining but I suppose you lot can use this thread for complaining about tat from B&M. And for the record the presents I got for him were well thought out and expensive

You are ungrateful. Why don't you ask him to exchange for a dictionary?

You could ask Santa for some manners (ie don't be a superior cow)

You could put him on the spot by laughing when you open the first one. "Oh, very funny!" See how much you can make him squirm.

Merry Christmas @PferdeMerde and thanks.

Thoughtless crap is offensive from someone close.
It's not about the cost. It's the care.

If your relationship is otherwise good then personally I'd let this go. Some people just aren't great at gifts.
If it were up to me we'd all just do away with the compulsory gift giving at Christmas, except for children. Most adults already have what they want and their own money to buy stuff, so what's the point. I know that sounds really Grinch-like but maybe that's how your DP is thinking too.

You are ungrateful. Why don't you ask him to exchange for a dictionary?
I bet you have lots of friends.

"DP later tells me not to look in the bags as they're presents from me."
After leaving them in the hall and fucking off upstairs to watch Netflix? My arse! He left them in the hall with the express intention that you would look in the bags and be disappointed @tatfrombandm. Disappointed from that day until Christmas Day when you'll be even more disappointed at how little he thinks of you.

"For those suggesting to return his presents, I don't have the heart to, and they are under the tree wrapped, he has seen them"
" And for the record the presents I got for him were well thought out and expensive"
So what if he's seen them? You've seen your too. Go and get some more tat from B&M and replace his nice gifts with ones equivalent to those he bought you. (Do B&M do Old Spice soap-on-a-rope and Brylcreem?) Wrap them in a completely different paper so that he is aware his gifts have been changed.

And if he gets snippy about being given tat, you can put on an innocent face and tell him you didn't want him to feel embarrassed at the discrepancy between what he gives and what he gets.

You are very welcome @SunshineCake1 - compliments of the season to you too!

You are ungrateful. Why don't you ask him to exchange for a dictionary?

It isn't ungrateful to not allow yourself to be treated poorly by the person who is supposed to care for you the most. It's not ungrateful to expect your own husband to put some thought and care into a gift.

She doesn't have to be grateful because someone has spent some money on you. She isn't a prostitute.

I'd suggest you look at your own relationships @MissNothing1991 if you think that this is how people behave towards each other when they are in a relationship as most people would not tolerate being an afterthought like this.

Forgive me, have not RTFH, is there any way at all he knew you would look in tue bags and it's an elaborate ruse to put you off the scent of a better gift hidden elsewhere?

@OneRuleForThem

You sound like a bit of a snob tbh

I don't think you sound like a snob at all ! I would be hurt by this too , lack of thought is the point . I don't want fancy expensive things , just something that's 'me', charity shop is fine. I would be happy to get nothing at all if the only option was b&m.

I agree op I don’t understand why people rush to buy men £2.99 lynx gift sets either.

It’s such a waste of time, plastic and packaging.

Not exactly full of thought either are most of these things.

@NumberTheory

I just recalled that after last years christmas he said he doesn't want to do it anymore as I'm too old and should know better.

I think this changes things a bit. Of he's expressed the desire to not do presents anymore then that makes the presents you bought him much less thoughtful.

His "too old and should know better" is a bit nasty and makes it sound like he wants to stop because he can't be bothered. But it may be that he finds your present buying for him and the expectations you have around him buying you presents really stressful and that it takes the shine off, perhaps.

I think you should go and talk to him - tell him that you saw what was in the bags. You feel let down but know he'll find that ungrateful and you've just remembered what he said about presents last year, so could you maybe talk about it? Because you find it upsetting that he doesn't seem to want to think about what you'd like and maybe you can find a way to express your appreciation for each other that you can both enjoy?

I agree with this.

He obviously doesn’t want to do presents. Whether that’s his personality or he’s just a lazy twat towards you is another matter.

My DH is a bit of a consumer so is happy to do presents and takes pride in getting well chosen gifts. My Dad hates shops and shopping. My mum buys herself something which my dad pays for and wraps. He wants her to have a lovely Christmas and makes the effort in other areas.

Oh why oh why are so many men so lazy?! 🙄

I agree with OP I'd be annoyed top, I'm sure you will get the rest of Mumsnet calling you an ungrateful snob though 🤣

@phishy

she did. You're free to look again

@tatfrombandm

I forgot to mention he's even got hot chocolate for me that's even cheaper than the stuff we usually get. Knowing him I can't say anything and just need to accept it or he'll call me ungreatful and be in a mood

That's not you being ungrateful. It's you having preferences he's ignored. I'd love a bit of cheap chocolate and cheap bubble bath (and new pjs- also cheap) But that's my preference.

If my preference was to have hotel chocolat, and a sanctuary bath set and some fancy pj's, or perfume I'd be a bit annoyed at the thoughtlessness that had gone into a gift from the man I choose to spend my life with.

Also, the hot chocolate being cheaper than you usually buy is also a bit shit.

We have hotel chocolat products in our house, but DH knows that it's the cheaper chocolate I really love (maybe it's the extra sugar!)

Tell him so you have a chance of having something you'll enjoy at Christmas.

@tatfrombandm

I forgot to mention he's even got hot chocolate for me that's even cheaper than the stuff we usually get. Knowing him I can't say anything and just need to accept it or he'll call me ungreatful and be in a mood

So take the stuff you have bought back and buy him similar