tat from B&M for christmas

[tatfrombandm]

This didn't happen today but I've been feeling somewhat unreasonably cross at DP for about a week now as I know I'm being ungreatful, some people get nothing. I didn't know the bags in the hall were for christmas so I had a peek to see where things go to put it away, but as they appeared to be gifts I didn't touch them. DP had just come back from B&M and was in bed with netflix. DP later tells me not to look in the bags as they're presents from me. They are cheap, and unthoughtful gifts ie low end chocolates, cheap shower products that will make me itch (he knows I've got sensitive skin) And I'd rather he hadn't got me anything at all as I get chocolate every other week anyway in the main supermarket shop. I'm not sure what the purpose of this thread is other than complaining but I suppose you lot can use this thread for complaining about tat from B&M. And for the record the presents I got for him were well thought out and expensive

… I just recalled that after last years christmas he said he doesn't want to do it anymore as I'm too old and should know better.

He obviously thought he’d made it quite clear last year OP, & is hoping that the tat will put an end to it all.

@GellerYeller

Forgive me, have not RTFH, is there any way at all he knew you would look in tue bags and it's an elaborate ruse to put you off the scent of a better gift hidden elsewhere?

I wwas sincerely hoping tthat. you are the first to ask it

Even if you only have £20 to spend on your partner you can make it thoughtful. A nice edition of a favourite book, some bit of kit connected to a sport or hobby etc. The thought really does count. B&M does not.

@harriethoyle I’m a bit confused now tbh 😅
I was sticking up for op.

Think you have to be more direct about what you would really like for xmas if you don’t want to end up with whatever he can find in tat shops.. x

Would rather have a tenners worth of stuff from the charity shop than from b&m.

Nothing to do with snobbery, it's the sheer lack of thought.

Why did he buy stuff and leave it out in plain sight then go upstairs for a lie down and watch netflix.... seems very odd and like h wanted you to find the stuff....

@nickwinkle Yes your friend is reading this thread and thinking I have a friend who buys me £50 of shit presents too. I would rather have one nice present than £50 worth of B and M tat. She is sat there hoping you take all the advice on the thread on board.

OP I think you've totally got the wrong end of the stick with @SunshineCake1.
'No. Not knowing him. You are allowing this to happen and not pulling him up on it. Either tell him or stop moaning.'
I didn't read it remotely as saying you don't know him but that your own statement 'Knowing him I can't say anything and just need to accept it or he'll call me ungreatful and be in a mood' really shouldn't be something you just have to accept. Expect more for yourself, take ownership of the situation while you can and don't just boys will be boys him. It was a comment supporting you to change this situation and you told them to fuck off!

More fool you for keeping his presents. He doesn't sound nice. Is the relationship otherwise rewarding?

she did. You're free to look again

I looked again. I think she meant ‘Don’t say ‘knowing him’ as if that means you can’t address it’ not that you didn’t know him.

X-post with @PinkArt

@phishy

Oh God don't be such a mug OP

Tell him you saw the tat he got you and will be replacing the presents you got him for tat.

He will listen to what you ACTIONS.

This OP. Doesn't matter if he's seen that they're under the tree.

@harriethoyle it certainly might be. 🥂

I don’t think @SunshineCake1 or @harriethoyle were being rude at all. Read it again op.

@OneRuleForThem

You sound like a bit of a snob tbh

Not at all. Stuff from B&M is about as low quality that you can get. , made in China by polluting factories guzzling fossil fuels. Op just sounds like her standards are higher, doesn’t make her a snob.

I didn’t read it as op doesn’t know her dh, I read it as @SunshineCake1 meant more like it’s not to do with knowing him, but with facing your dh with actions..

*with not knowing him 🙄

Cheers @PumpkinEye !

I'm just here for the "this is too outing" deletion message. Or the fulsome apology to the fuck off club. Might not hold my breath for the latter!

Yanbu to be upset, I would be too. However yabu to not do anything about it. You won't return his presents, don't seem as if you are going to raise it with him so will no doubt be in the same position next year and the cycle will continue. If it upsets you so much, do something about it.

@Nickwinkle

Could it be that they're not your main present and they're just 'stocking fillers'? Or maybe he's getting a good selection of stuff together to make a hamper. Just little things that you'd use everyday but sometime's that's better than some flashy, expensive thing you're never gonna use.

For friend's birthdays I usually go to B&M (I wouldn't say their branded stuff is any less than what you buy in a supermarket, FYI) and get loads of little bits to put together in a hamper; facemasks, smellies, lotions, hot chocolate, slippers, hot water bottles... Are you saying that your response is how they think and I'm actually an awful cheap-skate friend despite those things racking up about £40-£50 in total? Jeez. Thanks.

You sound extremely ungrateful and if it really bothers you that much then say something to him but I wouldn't expect a great reaction.

Not all presents have to be expensive to be good. Sometimes small, cheap and sentimental is better.

Are you sure they're happy with that?

I'd rather that £50 be something from elsewhere like Marks'/John Lewis or maybe the body shop or Lush but not £50 of crap from B&M that is not sentimental or worth it.