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AIBU?

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Original poster

tat from B&M for christmas

287 replies

tatfrombandm · 21/12/2021 15:18

This didn't happen today but I've been feeling somewhat unreasonably cross at DP for about a week now as I know I'm being ungreatful, some people get nothing. I didn't know the bags in the hall were for christmas so I had a peek to see where things go to put it away, but as they appeared to be gifts I didn't touch them. DP had just come back from B&M and was in bed with netflix. DP later tells me not to look in the bags as they're presents from me. They are cheap, and unthoughtful gifts ie low end chocolates, cheap shower products that will make me itch (he knows I've got sensitive skin) And I'd rather he hadn't got me anything at all as I get chocolate every other week anyway in the main supermarket shop. I'm not sure what the purpose of this thread is other than complaining but I suppose you lot can use this thread for complaining about tat from B&M. And for the record the presents I got for him were well thought out and expensive

OP posts:
yoyo1234 · 21/12/2021 20:18

B and Ms do lovely hot chocolate (Fryes) which is palm oil free.

NinaDefoe · 21/12/2021 20:19

B&M tat appeals to teenagers and is also good for secret Santa gifts.

I wouldn’t think it’s the place to go to buy a present from husband to wife. I’d rather not get a gift tbh. Waste of money and gift sets are likely to be donated

Kshhuxnxk · 21/12/2021 20:29

He already told you he didn't want to do presents and yet you've went and bought him well thought out and, of course expensive presents? So it's ok for you to ignore his wishes?

NMC2022 · 21/12/2021 20:32

I bloody love b&m but I would hate my Christmas presents to be from there
A voucher for there? Sure, because I could buy stuff I wanted. It's different being able to pick chocolate and soap rather than shite nobody wants

It's not tricky - I posted about a perfume I wanted to try on my FB, my dad saw it and thought "oh she wants that" and got it me for Christmas

HikingforScenery · 21/12/2021 20:37

Could there be more stuff in the bottom you didn’t see? I don’t understand why your DP could get you these things for Xmas?

Booklover3 · 21/12/2021 21:00

You need to take a stand and do something OP.

You really should return the gifts you got him and go buy him a load of crap.

You said he did the same last year?

Don’t be a martyr. He’s not sad over it or even sorry, or he wouldn’t do it again.

DogsandCatsB4u · 21/12/2021 21:09

He’s rude
You’re not a child

Againstmachine · 21/12/2021 21:09

Id love b and m tar stop being judgement

thnack · 21/12/2021 21:21

@Nickwinkle

Could it be that they're not your main present and they're just 'stocking fillers'? Or maybe he's getting a good selection of stuff together to make a hamper. Just little things that you'd use everyday but sometime's that's better than some flashy, expensive thing you're never gonna use.

For friend's birthdays I usually go to B&M (I wouldn't say their branded stuff is any less than what you buy in a supermarket, FYI) and get loads of little bits to put together in a hamper; facemasks, smellies, lotions, hot chocolate, slippers, hot water bottles... Are you saying that your response is how they think and I'm actually an awful cheap-skate friend despite those things racking up about £40-£50 in total? Jeez. Thanks.

You sound extremely ungrateful and if it really bothers you that much then say something to him but I wouldn't expect a great reaction.

Not all presents have to be expensive to be good. Sometimes small, cheap and sentimental is better.

It could be that this isn't about you....:
yoyo1234 · 21/12/2021 21:23

I get the impression he told you last year you he would rather not do gifts but you happily ignored it. He potentially panicked in response to you saying/implying you had got him gifts.

yoyo1234 · 21/12/2021 21:24

Just do bo gifts for each other next year if it suits you both.

yoyo1234 · 21/12/2021 21:27

"no" gifts for each other next year .

FredWinnie · 21/12/2021 21:44

@harriethoyle
It was decaf but I'll gladly join the FOC and partake Wine

LowlandLucky · 21/12/2021 21:46

harriehoyle would love goats but DH can't stand them.

harriethoyle · 21/12/2021 22:07

@LowlandLucky I"ve enlisted my dsd in the "let's have goats!" campaign because my DH is less keen... underhand? Possibly. Necessary? Absolutely...

Rubyupbeat · 21/12/2021 22:09

But he had said he didn't want to do presents anymore, so why did you buy for him and disregard what he said?

SunshineCake1 · 21/12/2021 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Quotes deleted post

SunshineCake1 · 21/12/2021 22:19

@PinkArt

OP I think you've totally got the wrong end of the stick with *@SunshineCake1*. 'No. Not knowing him. You are allowing this to happen and not pulling him up on it. Either tell him or stop moaning.' I didn't read it remotely as saying you don't know him but that your own statement 'Knowing him I can't say anything and just need to accept it or he'll call me ungreatful and be in a mood' really shouldn't be something you just have to accept. Expect more for yourself, take ownership of the situation while you can and don't just boys will be boys him. It was a comment supporting you to change this situation and you told them to fuck off!
Exactly

And "I looked again. I think she meant ‘Don’t say ‘knowing him’ as if that means you can’t address it’ not that you didn’t know him." @Dahlietta is correct too.

Kinko · 21/12/2021 22:42

They could be 'stocking fillers'? He might have bought you tickets or a trip but wanted you to have stuff to open as well, perhaps?

Alwayscheerful · 21/12/2021 23:11

Explain about the toiletries not suiting your skin and the chocolate not being a treat as you regularly buy them from the supermarket perhaps suggest you donate the items to the food bank.

RobertaFirmino · 21/12/2021 23:26

@FangsForTheMemory

My heart always sinks when people buy me toiletries because what I routinely use is very nice stuff, nicer than M&S, for example. It's not snobbery, it's just about what you like to treat yourself with. A small quantity of something expensive is much better than a large quantity of something cheap.
I'm no toiletry snob - I use The Ordinary and Inkey List but honestly, I'd rather have one Nivea shower cream that I would actually use than £40 worth of runny, ineffective DermaV10 shite.
ldontWanna · 21/12/2021 23:33

Next year just give him a list. If you agree to no presents then don't buy anything and stick to that. If you don't, give him a list of pre approved products/presents. That's what I do. OH is hard to buy for as he never wants anything so he ends up with tat and chocolate. If he wants better he needs to ask for it.

MumW · 22/12/2021 00:01

He's already told me he's not getting me any of the things on my list. He doesn't think I need them
Isn't that one of the points of presents. Things you don't necessarily need or can't justify buying are exactly the things thst make great gifts.

BatshitBanshee · 22/12/2021 00:32

For friend's birthdays I usually go to B&M (I wouldn't say their branded stuff is any less than what you buy in a supermarket, FYI) and get loads of little bits to put together in a hamper; facemasks, smellies, lotions, hot chocolate, slippers, hot water bottles... Are you saying that your response is how they think and I'm actually an awful cheap-skate friend despite those things racking up about £40-£50 in total? Jeez. Thanks.

Yes, I can guarantee your friends do not enjoy hampers of cheap tat for their birthdays. At least give them the value in a voucher so they can choose the cheap tat they want. But a basket of b&m crap that someone else has picked? No, that's a nightmare.

And I realise you didn't explicitly want an opinion on your gift giving, but that's what you get when you try and make someone else's situation about yourself.

Anyway, OP: return his gifts, buy yourself something nice.

Alternatively get your pointiest shoe or boot, wrap it in pretty paper and give it to him Christmas morning. Remind him that should he ever get you a cheap gift again from B&fuckingM, that pointy shoe will be lodged where the sun doesn't shine.

Flowers
TheHungriestMama · 22/12/2021 03:44

Barring an abusive situation, I'm not sure why you wouldn't just say something OP. He needs to get set straight sooner than later.

At the start of my relationship (granted we were v young but still!) I told DH that I didn't like what he'd bought and that he could return and I'd choose something else. I'm very clear with him on not wanting pointless shit and clutter. I usually give him some parameters at bday/Xmas time so he knows otherwise his tastes don't match mine and I hate to get stuff I don't like from him. Waste of family money.