There are no such things as Empaths

[Seafog]

Ffs.
Empathy ....some of us have more empathy than others, but it doesn't make you a fucking empath!
If you have sympathy for people, would you go around saying you are a sympath?

Just say , "I have so much empathy" or "I am really sensitive to people's emotional state."

Making up a word to try and make yourself sound more special makes me think you're attention seeking twat.

AIBU?

I've just Googled ambivert, a word I had never heard until today. It appears to mean a personality with a mixture of introvert and extrovert traits, ie someone completely bog standard and probably like the vast majority of humanity. I don't see the need to attach so many labels and meanings to perfectly normal human behaviours. It is irritating.

I've met many people over my life who have experienced appalling things, including survivors of genocide. Do I feel very, very sad that they went through such awful events? Yes. Do I think for one moment I can really begin to comprehend how they felt and still feel? No.

@IncompleteSenten

I can't get on that quiz site. It says unsupported protocol or something but does it seriously ask if sad things make you feel sad? 😂😂

It says:

When I hear a sad story, I find it hard to hold back the tears.

@CPL593H

I've just Googled ambivert, a word I had never heard until today. It appears to mean a personality with a mixture of introvert and extrovert traits, ie someone completely bog standard and probably like the vast majority of humanity. I don't see the need to attach so many labels and meanings to perfectly normal human behaviours. It is irritating.

I've met many people over my life who have experienced appalling things, including survivors of genocide. Do I feel very, very sad that they went through such awful events? Yes. Do I think for one moment I can really begin to comprehend how they felt and still feel? No.

I always think it’s really insulting to people’s unique experiences if someone decides that they are so empathetic they can know how that person feels. Rather than asking questions and seeking to learn and understand other people’s experiences, you get people deciding that they have magic powers and just know how it felt. No need to ask or actually care about the person whose experiences you decided you are an expert on.

And then there’s all those people who seem to be more affected emotionally by events than anyone directly involved. They watched a documentary about something and were so distraught they could nearly function. Meanwhile, the people it happened to just have to get on with things and can’t be so bloody self indulgent and attention seeking. 🤣

The questions on the quiz are:

When I hear a sad story, I find it hard to hold back the tears.
Seeing an injured animal has a lasting effect on my mood.
I rescue animals and bring them home to care for them.
I avoid watching sad movies or reading sad books.
Whenever I hear a child cry, I wonder if anything’s wrong.
I play with other people’s kids.
I am careful not to hurt other people’s feelings.
I support my friends and family by encouraging them to share their feelings.
I am told I am too emotional.
I find it very difficult to say “no” to people.
I postpone my work and other activities if a friend wants to vent to me.
I feel tired and overwhelmed.
Friends gravitate to me whenever they have a problem.
I am a people pleaser.
I dislike large gatherings and prefer to socialize with just a few select friends or stay alone.
I forgive my parents for their mistakes toward me.
I am prone to mood swings.
I go out of my way to help others.
I am eager to help others, and that’s what differentiates me from other people.
I try to read between the lines.

The quiz:

Answers in a scale from always to never.

When I hear a sad story, I find it hard to hold back the tears.
Seeing an injured animal has a lasting effect on my mood.
I rescue animals and bring them home to care for them
I avoid watching sad movies or reading sad books
Whenever I hear a child cry, I wonder if anything’s wrong.
I play with other people’s kids.
I am careful not to hurt other people’s feelings.
I support my friends and family by encouraging them to share their feelings
I am told I am too emotional.
I find it very difficult to say “no” to people.
I postpone my work and other activities if a friend wants to vent to me.
I feel tired and overwhelmed.
Friends gravitate to me whenever they have a problem.
I am a people pleaser.
I dislike large gatherings and prefer to socialize with just a few select friends or stay alone.
I forgive my parents for their mistakes toward me.
I am prone to mood swings.
I go out of my way to help others.
I am eager to help others, and that’s what differentiates me from other people.
I try to read between the lines.

🙄🙄

Cross post.

Do you think the person making this quiz has given any thought to what empathy is? Or are they just trying to hit the targets for the sort of things people who seek self validation through diagnosis via online quizzes most often look for?

Some of the questions are so leading.
I forgive my parents their mistakes and that being eager to help is what differentiates you from others.

Ironically, the ‘I’m so eager to help, that’s what makes me better than everyone else’ thing suggests a fundamental failure of empathy. A total lack of awareness that people aren’t ‘helping’ (interfering) for all sorts of reasons. And giving a shit is not unique to you.

Oh and there is no indication on the website as to any of the ‘science’ behind this. It’s basically a ‘rate these foods and I’ll say how old you are’ type quiz.

Well im obviously some sort of psychopath i did the test and im not an empath 😔

Wow.
Half of them are just things everyone does

The other half are things that are really not good and bugger all to do with empathy. I'm not sure being a doormat means you are super empathetic.

This is what it says if you get 80-100 (mostly C in what member of Bros should you marry)

People high on empathy can feel other people’s emotional states even before they speak.

Your friends, family and colleagues gravitate toward you whenever they have a problem. They know they know you are always there to lend a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.

Unfortunately, they don’t always reciprocate and may sometimes openly use you to sort out their emotions only to leave you drained and overwhelmed.

To make things worse, you are likely to attract unhealthy relationships where you are used and abused.

Narcissists, in particular, prey on highly empathic people to get the admiration, support, and praise they crave.

You often feel guilty and worry about unintentionally hurting someone’s feelings.

You constantly try to read between the lines and often ruminate about other people holding a grudge against you.

You often worry that other people may have a negative opinion of you and take steps to prevent that.

All this leads to a lot of anxiety, and you may have trouble falling asleep.

Your worries keep you awake at night, and you often feel exhausted and overwhelmed. To cope with constant tiredness and anxiety, you may have developed addictions to food, drugs, or alcohol.

You need to take steps to protect your mental health and well-being. Work with a professional counselor, psychologist or consider this online CBT platform to cope with anxiety and change your behavior and feelings.

Note that at no point does it say ‘you are an empath’.

"Whenever I hear a child cry, I wonder if anything’s wrong" they seriously think this is unusual?
And if someone is chronically exhausted they should probably get a blood test rather than an internet quiz...

@UmmAyisha

"Whenever I hear a child cry, I wonder if anything’s wrong" they seriously think this is unusual? And if someone is chronically exhausted they should probably get a blood test rather than an internet quiz...

I know, right? Like the rest of us don't?

@PriamFarrl

Oh and there is no indication on the website as to any of the ‘science’ behind this. It’s basically a ‘rate these foods and I’ll say how old you are’ type quiz.

As I said earlier, they have the mediaeval wonder on there: psychologia.co/four-temperaments/

Oh well a bit of blood letting should sort out all this exhaustion then.

You often feel guilty and worry about unintentionally hurting someone’s feelings.

You constantly try to read between the lines and often ruminate about other people holding a grudge against you.

You often worry that other people may have a negative opinion of you and take steps to prevent that.

It doesn’t say you are an empath. But claims this is a result of being high in empathy.

Except, if they really knew what people were feeling without asking, then they wouldn’t be imagining everyone feels negatively about th when they do.

The fact is, answering always to many of those questions definitely means they should seek some help with their anxiety, lack of self esteem and codependency.

I’m not sure doing the ‘am I an empath?’ quiz in just 17 is really the place for questions about these things that aren’t about empathy.

@PriamFarrl

Oh well a bit of blood letting should sort out all this exhaustion then.

Or leeches.

Which is blood letting. But a special category.

The mediaeval medicine quiz has the most bizarre questions. You read through the answers and think: absolutely none of these. They aren’t even alternatives on a scale or a reasonable set of choices.

Tbh, the quiz really reminds me of the kind of questionnaires undergrads produce for their dissertations. They come along and you have to try to explain that their questions aren’t going to generate useful data because they aren’t asking about the thing they say they want to find out about.

@youkiddingme

I know people who say they are empaths and they certainly feel that they soak up other people's feelings and find it very draining. However, I have found that they are often inaccurate in what they perceive another's feelings to actually be. I'm guessing it may be a combination of hypervigilance and projection when someone is suffering from anxiety for some people. Like anything else, there will be others who are attracted to the label and will attach it to themselves because they are searching for an identity that makes them feel good in some way.

This!!!

Empath - it is a lovely label that makes certain people feel very special and important (although I don't know why as their 'absorption' of peoples feelings do nothing to make the other people feel better).

What's the opposite of an empath? Sometimes when people are miserable I think... 'fucking get over it'. And sometimes when people are excitable I think 'fucking calm down'. Probably way more than I should.

I think I blame the X-Factor for all this empathy stuff... showing all these sob stories which we may have turned a blind eye to once upon a time but suddenly everyone went along with because sad music was playing and Dermot was shedding a year and the producers had previously hid an onion under the sofa.

@BeyondOurReef

The quiz:

Answers in a scale from always to never.

When I hear a sad story, I find it hard to hold back the tears.
Seeing an injured animal has a lasting effect on my mood.
I rescue animals and bring them home to care for them
I avoid watching sad movies or reading sad books
Whenever I hear a child cry, I wonder if anything’s wrong.
I play with other people’s kids.
I am careful not to hurt other people’s feelings.
I support my friends and family by encouraging them to share their feelings
I am told I am too emotional.
I find it very difficult to say “no” to people.
I postpone my work and other activities if a friend wants to vent to me.
I feel tired and overwhelmed.
Friends gravitate to me whenever they have a problem.
I am a people pleaser.
I dislike large gatherings and prefer to socialize with just a few select friends or stay alone.
I forgive my parents for their mistakes toward me.
I am prone to mood swings.
I go out of my way to help others.
I am eager to help others, and that’s what differentiates me from other people.
I try to read between the lines.

🙄🙄

This is batshit crazy.

@ReeseWitherfork

What's the opposite of an empath? Sometimes when people are miserable I think... 'fucking get over it'. And sometimes when people are excitable I think 'fucking calm down'. Probably way more than I should.

I think I blame the X-Factor for all this empathy stuff... showing all these sob stories which we may have turned a blind eye to once upon a time but suddenly everyone went along with because sad music was playing and Dermot was shedding a year and the producers had previously hid an onion under the sofa.

I think those sob stories pretty much always have the opposite effect to promoting empathy. People care less and feel a it annoyed about the sob story they’re being spun. You’re all, it’s a reality dating show, I don’t care that your hamster died when you were 13.