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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have opened the door

299 replies

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 19/12/2021 20:28

Went to a restaurant this eve, was busier than I expected and all tables were randomly put together to form 2 king table so we were sat next to total strangers… wasn’t expecting that. So I opened up the door near us to get some fresh air in, checked with waitress they agreed. A lady went and closed it, so I opened it again and then she closed it again… so I opened it!

AIBU

OP posts:
Iamanicepersonreally · 19/12/2021 21:42

Polite not politically

Isseywith3witchycats · 19/12/2021 21:46

diners seem to be unreasonable about doors and windows open i worked in a restaurant once where it was an open kitchen with a large restaurant and very poor air con in the kitchen in the summer when it was like 70 degrees outside we would ask for the windows opened and customers would get the waitresses to shut them again, same on a bus if you open a window you have committed murder as far as some people are concerned , but yes in the middle of winter when it is freezing outside i would have cancelled my seats and gone somewhere else

HaaaaaveyoumetTed · 19/12/2021 21:46

If you weren't happy with the existing covid measures you should have left rather than try and change them.

1WeekTillChristmas · 19/12/2021 21:54

I wouldn't of sat down

But then again, i wouldn't go into a restaurant in the mist of a pandemic with numbers higher than they have ever been , 5 days before Christmas

Each to there own

Tiramesu · 19/12/2021 21:56

If you are eating in and so clearly happy to accept exposure and risk, I would expect you to embrace being in the restaurant and not lose the plot over having the door open on a freezing day like some weird virtue signalling. YABU!

JinglingHellsBells · 19/12/2021 21:58

You shouldn't have eaten there is the first place if you worried, opening up a door won't stop you being infected or passing it on to others,

@Icebreaker99
Pretty shocking how you have missed this science for 18 months. You mean you have never seen or heard the advice on how to reduce transmission in homes etc? Keep windows open to ventilate the room and allow the levels of the virus to be reduced.

JinglingHellsBells · 19/12/2021 22:00

@MarleneDietrichsSmile

I’ve been to a few restaurants recently

It’s not the norm to have doors and windows open

You made it unpleasant for everyone, because you thought your comfort (ie managing your fear of Covid) was more important than everyone else’s comfort

People who are that scared should simply not go to restaurants

Please stay at home

Restaurants etc ought to be following guidance which is to keep the rooms ventilated.

So many posters here seem to think the OP was odd when in fact it's been common knowledge for almost 2 years!

melj1213 · 19/12/2021 22:01

YABVVU

Why was your comfort more important than the other patrons?

If I was at a restaurant and someone came in and opened windows/doors that were previously closed and in doing so made it uncomfortable I would have asked the staff to close the window/door and have a word with the other person to not do that.

I have Reynaud's, which affects blood circulation and if I get cold then my fingers/toes/ears etc start to go white and blue and can become painful. It is not something that is obvious and I am always very careful to make sure I am appropriately wrapped up before even thinking about going outside at this time of year. If I was mid meal in a restaurant and someone opened a door (Where I am it has been between 1° and 3°C, windy and heavy fog for the last two days) then it would trigger my Reynaud's and I would, at a minimum, be uncomfortable for the rest of the meal or at worst have to go home in pain ... all because you decided you wanted a door open.

You walked into the restaurant in winter knowing that the doors and windows were closed and had the opportunity to either go elsewhere or order for takeaway. Other diners who were part way through their meals did not have the same opportunity to leave if they were already mid-meal when you showed up and started opening doors.

bonfireheart · 19/12/2021 22:04

Love the imagine of you both just getting up in turn whilst your food goes cold and your dinner guest sits there bored.

Sparklingbrook · 19/12/2021 22:05

Restaurants etc ought to be following guidance which is to keep the rooms ventilated

Maybe open a window for a bit every now and again , not a door.

cardibach · 19/12/2021 22:08

@Icebreaker99

It was very rude to presume that others didn't mind the cold draught!

You shouldn't have eaten there is the first place if you worried, opening up a door won't stop you being infected or passing it on to others, you just made the meal less enjoyable for the other woman and her party.

Well it could really, couldn’t it? Ventilation is key. I get really cross with people insisting on closed doors and windows. Indoors is more dangerous than outdoors. Indoors wit( open windows is warmer than outdoors and relatively safe. It’s not rocket science.
cardibach · 19/12/2021 22:09

@Sparklingbrook

Restaurants etc ought to be following guidance which is to keep the rooms ventilated

Maybe open a window for a bit every now and again , not a door.

Now and again? No. All night. And if it’s so small that a door is a massive difference sits probably not worth doing. .
HaaaaaveyoumetTed · 19/12/2021 22:10

JinglingHellsBells the point isn't that the restaurant should be following guidelines re ventilation. The point is that the restaurant wasn't following guidelines and if the OP was unhappy about that they should have gone somewhere else. The other patrons had accepted the restaurants covid measures (or lack thereof). Why should they be freezing when the OP was aware on entry that they weren't ventilating?

Sparklingbrook · 19/12/2021 22:16

Now and again? No. All night. And if it’s so small that a door is a massive difference sits probably not worth doing

Well doors do tend to be bigger than windows.

This from .gov says even for a short period is ok, and where possible fully presuming meaning not freezing diners while they are eating.

Opening windows, air vents and doors to improve natural ventilation. Opening doors and windows even for a brief period (for example, between meetings) can help refresh the air and reduce COVID-19 particles in the air. Opening the windows and doors fully, where possible, will provide the most amount of fresh air into the space.

User135792468 · 19/12/2021 22:16

You’re so rude to have done that in the middle of winter. Then bragging that you were victorious. Did nobody teach you manners Op?

CheshireKitten123 · 19/12/2021 22:21

@Santahatesbraisedcabbage

Surely if you are that bothered about Covid you would get take away and stay home?
This
PinkiOcelot · 19/12/2021 22:27

You were very rude and presumptuous to think everyone else wanted to sit and eat their meal in the freezing cold. You could have asked for your table to be moved to the pavement.

Siepie · 19/12/2021 22:27

You made it unpleasant for everyone, because you thought your comfort (ie managing your fear of Covid) was more important than everyone else’s comfort

This. You decided to put yourself above everyone else, who had already ordered and didn't want to eat in the freezing cold.

Nanny0gg · 19/12/2021 22:33

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@aprilanne

I’m not particularly scared… maybe I’ve just saved everyone’s Christmas in there 😂[/quote]
Someone did that to me the other night.

I shut the door and it stayed shut!

Kite22 · 19/12/2021 22:38

Maybe I’ll avoid restaurants for a while

Good idea.
You probably should have thought about that as a plan before spoiling the evening of others.

Yup seems obvious to me. Get to my parents house and I open the windows…

How incredibly rude. If you choose to go into someone else's home, it isn't your place to change their comfort zone either.

Wow you are arrogant.

AutumnLeaves21 · 19/12/2021 22:39

You were being a dick for the sake of it 🙄 if you were that worried about covid, you’d have stayed at home. I bet everyone else in the restaurant was cringing at your display.

bonfireheart · 19/12/2021 22:41

Usually it's just me and DD when we go out (single parent) and they nearly always sit us by the door and it's effing annoying when it's cold.

Rangoon · 19/12/2021 22:42

If I was the other party, I'd have left and I wouldn't have paid either because most people would find it uncomfortable eating dinner with an open door in December. I too have Reynauds Disease. I don't think you saved anybody's Christmas and it doesn't excuse your rude and aggressive behaviour. If you didn't like the set up then you shouldn't have eaten there and left everybody to have the meal that they no doubt had been enjoying previously.

DappyApple · 19/12/2021 22:44

Yabu. You saw the seating arrangements and chose to stay, it’s not for you to decide you wanted the door open without any regard to other peoples comfort.
The other diners were clearly comfortable with both the seating and the ventilation.

If opening the door was a condition for you to eat there, then it was at this stage you should have apologised and left

Shodan · 19/12/2021 23:04

Obviously you were very rude to open the door without asking the other diners if they minded.

But I'm curious- at this long table arrangement, were you the one seated nearest to the open door? Could you have asked to be seated there?

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