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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have opened the door

299 replies

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 19/12/2021 20:28

Went to a restaurant this eve, was busier than I expected and all tables were randomly put together to form 2 king table so we were sat next to total strangers… wasn’t expecting that. So I opened up the door near us to get some fresh air in, checked with waitress they agreed. A lady went and closed it, so I opened it again and then she closed it again… so I opened it!

AIBU

OP posts:
SofiaMichElf · 19/12/2021 23:13

@Rangoon

If I was the other party, I'd have left and I wouldn't have paid either...

You can't just choose not to pay for food when there's nothing wrong with it, FFS.

Complain, get the hump, bad review, whatever, but refusing to pay is a shit thing to do to a restaurant.

Jarbed · 19/12/2021 23:13

Ideally you should have held a vote with all the other patrons. All those in favour of opening the door say "aye" and so forth.

ApricotStew · 19/12/2021 23:14

If you’re worried enough about risk in restaurants to spoil other people’s evenings and make them uncomfortable, then restaurants aren’t the place for you right now

Agree

cookiemonster2468 · 19/12/2021 23:14

YABU because you can't control other people's behaviour. If you're not comfortable eating in a restaurant (i.e. a fairly confined indoor space with other diners) then you should have stayed home. You can't just go into a restaurant and open the doors in the middle of winter.

melj1213 · 19/12/2021 23:26

[quote SofiaMichElf]@Rangoon

If I was the other party, I'd have left and I wouldn't have paid either...

You can't just choose not to pay for food when there's nothing wrong with it, FFS.

Complain, get the hump, bad review, whatever, but refusing to pay is a shit thing to do to a restaurant.[/quote]
Depends on the circumstances. If the restaurant were apologetic then I would leave but I would pay a proportion based on what was eaten/drunk but if the restaurant DGAF and did nothing to stop the OPs behaviour then I would have no issue with walking out immediately

If I was in the restaurant mid-meal when the OP came in and repeatedly opened the door I would ask the staff to close the door and keep it closed. If they refused then I would immediately put on my hat, gloves and coat (to stop my Reynaud's from flaring up and/or becoming painful if it had already started flaring up) and inform them that I was leaving as their refusal to stop the other patron from opening the door had now meant I could no longer remain in the restaurant due to my health condition.

Blackkitty · 19/12/2021 23:35

Rude. I don’t want to eat my dinner in the cold covid or no covid

AuntyBumBum · 19/12/2021 23:57

That's ridiculous, you were very unreasonable.

BoredZelda · 20/12/2021 00:52

There are guidelines about ventilation but it doesn't mean that that ventilation should be controlled by one diner and should be opening a door in December.

Except the waiting staff approved it.

And you do it in December because that's when the Covid number are high. The guidance isn't "do it unless it is a bit chilly out"

We expect our kids to sit in schools with all the windows open all day but for adults who absolutely must have a meal out it's too inconvenient? Get a grip, wear a jumper.

I too have Reynauds Disease.

Stay at home then 🤷‍♀️

melj1213 · 20/12/2021 01:21

Stay at home then 🤷‍♀️

Why should we have to stay at home and not the OP, just in case some inconsiderate CF decides to walk into a restaurant as we are halfway through a meal and wedge the door open in freezing, wet, winter conditions?

The OP is the one who had an issue with the ventilation, or lack thereof, of the restaurant and had the option to leave before inconveniencong everyone else. Everyone else saw the situation (table layout/no doors or windows dows opened) and was happy to be in the restaurant under those conditions. The OP doesn't get to unilaterally change those conditions and then complain that other people weren't happy.

Krabapple · 20/12/2021 01:43

We were the other person in this scenario. Freezing cold, blowing a gale outside and another table asked the waitress if they could have the window directly behind me. I did open it for 5 mind, realised it was too cold so had to close it. I did think don’t come out if you are worried about covid! Very rude of you.

Nancydrawn · 20/12/2021 02:40

Ffs, it's like the omicron wave isn't happening.

This isn't beta, OP. It's crazy contagious. A cracked door for a crowded restaurant isn't going to fix it. If you're someone who's worried about it, stay out of restaurants, or only go to ones with outside seating and heat lamps.

TicTacHoh · 20/12/2021 03:17

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@Billiesmovingout

Yea to me a bit of fresh air seems like a no brainer![/quote]
If you were uncomfortable, you shouldn't have sat down to eat. Yabu. Also, there are not any current restrictions on table setups.

notangelinajolie · 20/12/2021 03:32

Of course YANBU.

Covid is airborn and ventilating a room helps to disperse it. Different situation but I recently had my booster jab. I purposely sat next to the open door for my 15 wait afterwards. 2 different people got up and closed it. Like you, I got up and opened it again. Some people are just plain stupid.

Sparklingbrook · 20/12/2021 06:27

@notangelinajolie

Of course YANBU.

Covid is airborn and ventilating a room helps to disperse it. Different situation but I recently had my booster jab. I purposely sat next to the open door for my 15 wait afterwards. 2 different people got up and closed it. Like you, I got up and opened it again. Some people are just plain stupid.

The ventilation thing is not in doubt. The OP was unreasonable to think everyone wanted to sit and eat their meal with a door open in December.
Stuffin · 20/12/2021 06:39

I want to sit inside in the warmth to eat. I therefore take my risks about getting covid.

If you only want to eat in a drafty restaurant then choose one with tables outside.

Changing the environment everyone else is happy with is very selfish but you know that and think it's fine to project your anxiety about covid on others by deciding they needed ventilation.

Original poster
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 20/12/2021 07:17

And this is why they are talking about closing restaurants again. It’s a real shame, like school they should be either be open or totally closed. They could be open but with mitigation factors- like spacing table, some ventilation.

I’ll stick to our lovely local restaurant for now who’s priority is keeping customers as safe as possible by spacing out tables and having a door ajar.

OP posts:
Original poster
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 20/12/2021 07:17

I meant they shouldn’t be

OP posts:
Original poster
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 20/12/2021 07:22

@melj1213

No one was half way through a meal, we arrived at 5pm as had my 2 young kids with us, I saw the layout, asked the waitress they said yes! But about 5.30 there were more people, who arrived and sat down whilst seeing the door ajar.

Also it’s much better for the staff- she seemed genuinely happy at the idea.

Every office I walk into at work I open a window, as that’s the policy. Touch wood I am yet to get covid and that’s whilst teaching in a school of 2000 kids! Fresh air is key, and reduced the viral
Load.

Restaurants are about to be closed so they are clearly an issue- if only people would support them by putting on an extra layer and not complaining about keeping everyone else as safe as possible.

Just like at school, people desperate for their kids to be in yet moan about a bit of cold

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 20/12/2021 07:26

Why did you post this @OnceuponaRainbow18, you don't think you were being unreasonable, everyone has explained why you were and yet you still don't think you are.

Are you now saying you opened the door before any other diners arrived? You think they should have seen the open door arrangement and left if they didn't like it?

Sparklingbrook · 20/12/2021 07:28

I am confused because your OP states so we were sat next to total strangers, were they there when you arrived?

Stuffin · 20/12/2021 07:29

Restaurants are about to be closed so they are clearly an issue- if only people would support them by putting on an extra layer and not complaining about keeping everyone else as safe as possible.

I support them all the time by going when they are open. If it means sitting in a cold place with my food also getting cold then actually I will sit at home and save my money. Since the mask wearing whilst moving about was removed in England I have noticed pubs and restaurants where I am are far busier.

One person deciding to open the door is wrong and selfish if everyone else wanted it closed.

Original poster
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 20/12/2021 07:32

@Sparklingbrook

Almost half thought it was ok- just less vocal

OP posts:
Original poster
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 20/12/2021 07:34

@Sparklingbrook

No but I could see the table was laid out so I would be sat by strangers. As it was 2 long tables with all the places laid out. And then within 30 min we were sat by total strangers. We’ve avoided things like cinemas etc but genuinely didn’t expect
To be seated like that in a restaurant- even pre covid, I find it a bit weird! Won’t be going back there

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 20/12/2021 07:34

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@Sparklingbrook

Almost half thought it was ok- just less vocal[/quote]
How do you mean? Did you run a quick survey? How many people were actually in there eating when you opened the door?

Original poster
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 20/12/2021 07:35

@Sparklingbrook

I meant half out of the 824 who voted here!

OP posts: