Sentimental family Christmas cards - does ‘everyone’ do these?!

[Whohashiddenthebiscuits]

Not a serious one but just been having a conversation with DH after opening DMIL’s usual Christmas large card to us with a soppy poem (sorry, showing my bias here!). DD got one too.

My family never give cards to anyone actually in the same house as them and we never give ‘Mum’, ‘Dad’ etc cards on any occasion with the exception of Mother and Fathers Day. DM has definite opinions about ‘twee & faux sentimental’ cards snd while I’m less judgy about them, they do make me squirm a bit.

DH has a very different background to me, big family, working class, big on sentiment and emotion and demonstrating that. He’s just told me that my family are ‘weird’ to send ordinary cards and most families do send/give individual ‘Mum at Christmas’ etc cards. I think he’s wrong & while I didn’t want to say it, think perhaps whether you do or not might depend on your background.

I do for the record give DH a card and have done for years. I wouldn’t have done if I wasn’t married to him but I always get one from him. He gives me a big one (which I usually hate but kind of love him for anyway) and in return he gets a small, discreet one from me!

So - are my family weird?! Is everyone else giving out these cards?!

I don't give anyone cards. It's just such a waste how they all pile up over the years and you don't know what to do with them afterwards. The only cards we do are for the kids friends in school and they're just from the standard multipack.

My mum gives me super soppy old fashioned cards and I hate them. I like more modern ones without a verse in. She insists that I get her a card even though I wouldn't, I get her a modern one with no verse and I know she'd like a soppy one but she doesn't push it. I see her twice a week and will see her on Christmas day so I've no idea why she wants a card

I don't know anybody who would give the sort of sentimental cards you describe. I would imagine that they are very much out of fashion, and very few actually sold these days.

My mum does and my siblings. I don't though found them a bit cringy.

I do get mum one with "mum" on as I know she likes it but definitely no poems!

My mother in law sends us one of these and it does make me cringe a little (ok, a lot). Would rather her behaviour was more in line with the sentiment of the card than send these monstrosities.

We send Mum&Dad cards etc though not too soppy.
Our family isn't physically close, so we like to send a special card. Why not, it isn't harming anyone?

I’ve done two and simply don’t care anymore.

Oh I love a personalised card with daughter/sister/mum etc on. It’s definitely a tradition in our family and they go pride of place on a fireplace etc in each house. Never realised it was odd. Me and my siblings all in our thirties and forties and do it and I send them to in laws too.

I always get a special Mum card as she really appreciates it.

My family don't do it but my DH's parents do. Definitely a big contrast in social class between us so I'm interested that you've noted that too OP.

We do 'special' cards for parents and grandparents.

Mine wouldn't care if we didn't but DP's parents like them so who are we to take away peoples little pleasures in life?!

Yes, I like to send ones with husband, grandson, granddaughter, son etc.
However, I moved to Ireland a few years ago and chucked overboard the social class bollocks when halfway across the Irish sea. It's very free-ing.

We don't but my in laws always send very sentimental cards. We think they have a special shop near them that has them as I've never seen any cards like that for sale!

My MIL gave us hers today too. Big and special. “To the loveliest son and dil” (I wondered if BIL got “to the second loveliest son… ;)”).

MIL expects family cards to be displayed prominently, so I stuck hers behind loads of others on a over the door card hanger thing. It’s petty but I find it weird giving cards to people you actually see yo say happy Christmas to.

My parents would never do the family card thing but I notice they’ve given us a few in recent years. Need to nip it in the bud. It’s hard enough sending the cards to the people I want to communicate with by card (and a short note inside).

Both are 'normal' (whatever that means) and I would say that the specific mum/gran/whatever cards are more WC. I have a mixed class background so feel at liberty to say this without causing untold offence

Does it really matter? If someone sends you a card to convey nice sentiments, why would you want to take offence just because it's not something you would do? It seems quite petty.

my inlaws do this and I find it completely ridiculous.

I don't massively have a problem getting someone a 'Mum and Dad' Christmas card if that is important to them but MIL goes to the extreme and every year we have had a 'to my son and his girlfriend/fiancée/wife) depending on the status of our relationship and I find it really cringey.

and as above, I know its important to them so I get them the special 'mum and dad card' but its very frowned upon in their family for the men to be expected to lift a finger and do any of the Christmas shit work so every year I have a huge battle getting DH to write out his own parents card and cats bum mouth from MIL that i've made him.

Its a hill i'm prepared to die on.

MIL does these - the one for my DHs birthday is always a source of much hilarity between us. She means well but they're awful.

Any joint card is always a "son and daughter-in-law" one. Good to know your place.

Absolutely not. Named or ‘Relative’ cards are considered overly emotional and, dare I say it, tacky in my family.

Mass produced poems (or joke based comments) don’t do it for us.

I rarely do cards of any kind. I do birthday cards for my parents and a couple of my friends, no Christmas cards. I did cards for my granny for all sorts of things, because she liked them. But I've always looked for nice plain cards with either something funny on or something generic like flowers, absolutely no gold embossed 'Mummy' or poems or cheesy captions.

I send my grandad a Christmas themed one of our town, as coincidentally we now live in his hometown. Otherwise no, I find the poem ones really embarrassing. Dh does though, he loves a soppy card, especially if they're for me.

I've sent my sister a squid game one and my dad a political one. We don't do soppy or sentimental.

Ugh no I can’t stand the overly sentimental ones and as for people seriously falling out with family members if their cards aren’t gushing enough or the poem isn’t flowery enough...

I find it utterly cringeworthy.

But then in many families that’s apparently how it’s done, so it’ll be completely normal to them and probably to most people in their circle.

I don’t give/send cards to anyone I’m going to see over Christmas, either.

There was a very interesting and illuminating discussion on cards a year or two ago, and, as with everything else on MN, it turned out that there are two distinct camps, with some compelling arguments (or at least reasoning that made some sense) on either side.

@pastabest

my inlaws do this and I find it completely ridiculous.

I don't massively have a problem getting someone a 'Mum and Dad' Christmas card if that is important to them but MIL goes to the extreme and every year we have had a 'to my son and his girlfriend/fiancée/wife) depending on the status of our relationship and I find it really cringey.

and as above, I know its important to them so I get them the special 'mum and dad card' but its very frowned upon in their family for the men to be expected to lift a finger and do any of the Christmas shit work so every year I have a huge battle getting DH to write out his own parents card and cats bum mouth from MIL that i've made him.

Its a hill i'm prepared to die on.

Oh I’d absolutely die on that hill too.

Solidarity!

We’ve never sent them on any side of the family but now there there is a grand baby we have bought birthday cards that said grandma and grandpa on them to send as it’s a novelty- no poem inside though. I haven’t seen one of the poemy type ones in years though so I’d assumed they weren’t popular anymore