Sentimental family Christmas cards - does ‘everyone’ do these?!

[Whohashiddenthebiscuits]

Not a serious one but just been having a conversation with DH after opening DMIL’s usual Christmas large card to us with a soppy poem (sorry, showing my bias here!). DD got one too.

My family never give cards to anyone actually in the same house as them and we never give ‘Mum’, ‘Dad’ etc cards on any occasion with the exception of Mother and Fathers Day. DM has definite opinions about ‘twee & faux sentimental’ cards snd while I’m less judgy about them, they do make me squirm a bit.

DH has a very different background to me, big family, working class, big on sentiment and emotion and demonstrating that. He’s just told me that my family are ‘weird’ to send ordinary cards and most families do send/give individual ‘Mum at Christmas’ etc cards. I think he’s wrong & while I didn’t want to say it, think perhaps whether you do or not might depend on your background.

I do for the record give DH a card and have done for years. I wouldn’t have done if I wasn’t married to him but I always get one from him. He gives me a big one (which I usually hate but kind of love him for anyway) and in return he gets a small, discreet one from me!

So - are my family weird?! Is everyone else giving out these cards?!

I don’t get sentimental ones, but do send Mum, Dad, Grandma, Grandad, Great Grandma ones. I receive Daughter and Granddaughter ones, DD gets granddaughter ones.
I like them, but I am selective about content!

I send four cards and they are all sentimental.

DH does actually buy the PILs specific card.. along with one for me, my stepdaughter and our own daughter, my DD2. Everyone else (my eldest DD from a previous relationship, my family, all our friends) get non specific cards chosen by me. He has bought DD2 quite a few presents off his own back without any prompting but I’ve bought everything else present wise including a present to his closest friend and their children. We share the cost. When it comes to birthdays, I buy all presents to his family, he will buy the cards.

Someone upstream mentioned that a lot of the burden of Christmas, birthdays etc falls on women which from observation I think is true. In our case, i just think I’m better at multi tasking, DH is usually mentally swallowed up in a project, working all hours, I’ve usually a better idea of what people like so it’s just easier to get on and do it.

@Gennz18, typically we give/send 20-25 cards. DD2 is only giving 2 this year but back in Primary days would give 30. So that would be 55 cards. And yes, a heck of a lot of paper waste. I buy cards made with recycled paper that are recyclable but it still ain’t great!

Does anybody have a MIL that will actually take a card and READ it? Any card?! Like.... being nosey and physically reading a personal message?

My dad and stepmum are big on sentimental cards. They always send to us and one year I had the gall to send them a generic one from a box. They actually told me how hurt they were by it so I've never dared since and always buy a special one now.

I was about 20 then. I'm now 39 and did actually have a conversation with my stepmum about it this year where I encouraged her to spend the money on our card in the hospice her friend is in instead. I pointed out that they just end up in the recycling anyway. She agreed but said it wouldn't feel right not sending us one.

In-laws always send them too so we feel we have to. They're not bothered but DH felt bad one year when we spent Christmas there and our generic card was in pride of place in the 'family' spot next to BILs big 'Mum and Dad' one.

They're the same at birthdays too. The only way I get away with not buying a special one is by making a photo one with pictures of them and the DC on.

@Dacquoise

If the sentiments on the card are genuine and heartfelt then I don't understand how there can be a right or wrong about the cards. However, looking for a non sentimental mother's day card used to be a minefield because I didn't want to give a card that was dishonest and sending a card (out of duty) that expounded virtues she didn't have just felt wrong. Now NC the dilemma has completely disappeared.

I had exactly this issue too. I'm not a fan of Mothers Day in general. It all feels too forced. I'd rather random nice things throughout the year, both as giver and receiver.

I had one memorable Mothers Day with my own mother where I got up at the crack of dawn and got a 2.5 hour coach to see her, take her for lunch and give her a lovely gift, then got the coach back in the evening (working both Saturday and Monday so no option to make it an overnight).

She kicked off when I rang to say I was home as she was so hurt and upset that I hadn't given her a card.

We're NC now but all cards after that were a simple 'Mum' with 'Happy Mother's Day'.

@Footprintsinthegrass

My mum gives me super soppy old fashioned cards and I hate them. I like more modern ones without a verse in. She insists that I get her a card even though I wouldn't, I get her a modern one with no verse and I know she'd like a soppy one but she doesn't push it. I see her twice a week and will see her on Christmas day so I've no idea why she wants a card

Aw this makes me feels bit sad, you get her a card you like and not one she'd like because you hate soppy words, that's weird and a little selfish.

For the record, I'm really not fussed about cards, soppy words or otherwise but would send a special one for those people in my like who I know would appreciate them.

I'm not sure why someone wouldn't buy a card that their loved one would prefer.
How weird!