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Original poster

Sentimental family Christmas cards - does ‘everyone’ do these?!

183 replies

Whohashiddenthebiscuits · 18/12/2021 19:07

Not a serious one but just been having a conversation with DH after opening DMIL’s usual Christmas large card to us with a soppy poem (sorry, showing my bias here!). DD got one too.

My family never give cards to anyone actually in the same house as them and we never give ‘Mum’, ‘Dad’ etc cards on any occasion with the exception of Mother and Fathers Day. DM has definite opinions about ‘twee & faux sentimental’ cards snd while I’m less judgy about them, they do make me squirm a bit.

DH has a very different background to me, big family, working class, big on sentiment and emotion and demonstrating that. He’s just told me that my family are ‘weird’ to send ordinary cards and most families do send/give individual ‘Mum at Christmas’ etc cards. I think he’s wrong & while I didn’t want to say it, think perhaps whether you do or not might depend on your background.

I do for the record give DH a card and have done for years. I wouldn’t have done if I wasn’t married to him but I always get one from him. He gives me a big one (which I usually hate but kind of love him for anyway) and in return he gets a small, discreet one from me!

So - are my family weird?! Is everyone else giving out these cards?!

OP posts:
Magicalwoodlands · 18/12/2021 19:48

I think it’s quite nice, and I’m painfully middle class. I shop at John Lewis and everything.

Crunchymum · 18/12/2021 19:55

My mum always loved a card (whenever asked what she wanted for Xmas / birthday etc she'd always say "don't bother with a present but get me a nice card") so I've grown up as a card giver.

I don't like anything too twee but I do send dad / brother / sister etc cards for birthdays.

Mum died nearly 15 months ago and for the second year running I've not done a single Christmas card.

eddiemairswife · 18/12/2021 19:58

I send charity cards (League Against Cruel Sports this year), but I'm not bothered what people send me. They all go on the mantelpiece, which saves me dusting it for a couple of weeks.

Mylittlepotofjoy · 18/12/2021 19:59

I lost both my parents in the last year . When we were going through the house I found every birthday Christmas mothers and Father’s Day card I had ever sent them . It was lovely to think they treasured them enough to keep them for so long

phoenixrosehere · 18/12/2021 20:07

I don’t see the point if I’m going to see the person over Christmas. It’s a waste of paper to me and I’m not going to be that person that sends them because someone sends them to me. My DH’s side send us Christmas cards despite us traveling to see them and my DH buys them and takes them up with us and we hand deliver them and stay for a bit of tea which makes even less sense to me why they’re necessary. Once Christmas is over, they go straight to the recycling bin anyway. The only time Christmas cards are given on my side is when you’re not going to see each other and/or can’t and enclosed there is usually a recent picture of the family.

Original poster
Whohashiddenthebiscuits · 18/12/2021 20:07

Eh @madisonbridges, I don’t ‘take offence’ at the in laws cards! They are completely not my thing but horses for courses!

As for where you get them from, DH usually gets his cards from Clinton’s but I’ve seen them in our local stationery/gift shop too. Even Sainsburys has the Mum and Dad Christmas cards out. I think they are pretty easy to get hold of if you want too.

OP posts:
Dacquoise · 18/12/2021 20:09

If the sentiments on the card are genuine and heartfelt then I don't understand how there can be a right or wrong about the cards. However, looking for a non sentimental mother's day card used to be a minefield because I didn't want to give a card that was dishonest and sending a card (out of duty) that expounded virtues she didn't have just felt wrong. Now NC the dilemma has completely disappeared.

HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule · 18/12/2021 20:11

Our local post office has swathes of them.

Boood · 18/12/2021 20:11

I find them hilarious. The more specific the relationships named, the funnier they are. “To our beloved son and his partner” was one I particularly liked. My in-laws are definitely of the view that if you don’t give cards that specify the relationship between you, you aren’t trying hard enough and might as well spit in their food. I don’t personally understand why it’s trying harder to buy a pre-printed card than to write people’s actual names in one yourself.

Herja · 18/12/2021 20:17

I don't mind personal cards (though don't do them), but the sentimental ones, I hate. Even the sentimental mothers' day one the kids got me made me feel squirmy!

Different strokes for different folks I guess, but no, thse cards are not for me. Fortunately, everyone in my family agrees.

LaBelleSausage · 18/12/2021 20:25

I make a point of sending hideous sentimental twaddle to both sisters as they find it as cringe as I do. It's a bit of a competition to see who can find the worst one.

Original poster
Whohashiddenthebiscuits · 18/12/2021 20:30

@LaBelleSausage, I love this!

& on another note @Mylittlepotofjoy, that’s really poignant. I lost my Dad last month and clearing out his stuff we did find lots of little personal things he’d kept (if not cards). And I’ve only lost one parent. My sympathy to you.

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 18/12/2021 20:31

I think you are right re background..

Though I don’t send at all these days Grin

pastabest · 18/12/2021 20:33

@Boood

I find them hilarious. The more specific the relationships named, the funnier they are. “To our beloved son and his partner” was one I particularly liked. My in-laws are definitely of the view that if you don’t give cards that specify the relationship between you, you aren’t trying hard enough and might as well spit in their food. I don’t personally understand why it’s trying harder to buy a pre-printed card than to write people’s actual names in one yourself.
yes this is it. This is DH's family's perspective. If you can't find a card with the exact relationship on then you are disrespectful. To give them a generic card is an insult and likely to lead to the silent treatment until at least late January.

I don't have a huge issue with the cards themselves, just the pressure and expectation that comes with them.

safclass · 18/12/2021 20:36

I think there's a 'sliding scale' here. I would buy a mam, son, etc card but they'd be small and modern. For Christmas I don't send a lot but most family would get an ordinary/normal/ no names.
I hate large cards especially with verses on the front / inside.

BellaChagall · 18/12/2021 20:39

I no longer have a mother, father, sister or brother. Trust me, it hurts when you walk around card shops. People may mock, but is it really a bad thing to buy a card like this for a family member? One of my most treasured possessions is the last 'daughter' card my mum bought me. I'm not a daughter any more.

Toplowlight · 18/12/2021 20:40

No, and cringe

The3Ls · 18/12/2021 20:43

Lol that exactly describes my marriage. Love my in laws and just accept it as a lovely family quirk. Over the years I have withdrawn a little from "husband" cards and he has followed suit with me. It's language's of love I think

FluffyRabbitGal · 18/12/2021 22:08

I’m with you. I find the faux sentiment in those cards vulgar.

jellymaker · 18/12/2021 22:16

I could have written this post. Exactly the same situation in my house. In addition, MIL puts great weight against how many cards are received, phoning to tell us . DH makes a big thing about sentimental cards which I hate and also counts them but interestingly, doesn't send any burhday cards to any of his own friends

CreamFirstThenJamOnTop · 18/12/2021 22:24

Nope, neither of our families do and all Christmas cards go in the recycling by new year! The only cards I keep are made by the kids.

ballroompink · 18/12/2021 23:11

Never ever sent a gushy sentimental named Christmas card! They're cringey! I always buy really nice ones and give certain relatives ones I think they will like but separate 'To mum/nan/sister' ones with a poem? Nope!

Every year on here though there is usually at least one thread where a family member has been 'offended' to not get a personalised card so people are obviously very bothered about them!

Forion · 18/12/2021 23:26

We don't do cards of any description. I don't like sentimental stuff at all, it's childish and cringeworthy.

Mummy1608 · 18/12/2021 23:54

@Boood

I find them hilarious. The more specific the relationships named, the funnier they are. “To our beloved son and his partner” was one I particularly liked. My in-laws are definitely of the view that if you don’t give cards that specify the relationship between you, you aren’t trying hard enough and might as well spit in their food. I don’t personally understand why it’s trying harder to buy a pre-printed card than to write people’s actual names in one yourself.
Omg my in laws do this! My DH's aunt got us "nephew and his girlfriend" once before we were married. So specific lol

We only ever used to do generic multipack charity cards until we had our baby and then for her first Xmas we got a pack of identical snapfish cards with her photo on the front (relatives couldn't see her much cos of lockdown)... then this year I just reused some from the same pack 😂she's a toddler now but a baby in the pic 😂

Tldr: I really can barely bother with Xmas cards 😂

Eaumyword · 19/12/2021 00:06

My DH family have always given large (have to be large) sometimes padded but always gold embossed and specific (to my beloved brother/son and his wife!)Grin Always with a naff verse inside.
My side of the family send funny charity cards. This year's offering was 'Lets be pigs in blankets' and 'You're on Santa's naughty list'.
That's just how we roll!