DH has got his priorities wrong hasn’t he??

[didihearthatright123456]

We have nearly 3 year old twins. Before they arrived DH really enjoyed running, he still goes running but obviously the amount he can do it has reduced quite a lot due to family commitments.

He still goes to parkrun every Saturday. He’s just returned and all of his (older/childless/with grown up children) friends have asked him to go for a Xmas morning run at 9am. He’s expected to be out of the house for approximately 90 minutes.

I’ve said absolutely not, that it’s completely inappropriate with 2 toddlers to abandon us on such an special day, when they’ll be so excited about their presents.

He’s gone off in a total huff and now I’m the baddie 🤬

So AIBU to say no he can’t go and to get his bloody priorities right

3yo is one of the big excitement years. YANBU

YANBU

Awful that he doesn't want to be with his family tbh.

I'm a properly committed runner. I never ran Christmas morning until we got to the teenage years where the alternative was sitting around waiting for people to get up

Lots of running in the days around Christmas, often followed by a spell in the pub, but not Christmas morning.

Anyone who would go fucking running on Christmas morning when they've got toddlers at home is frankly heartless.

Who on earth priorities Parkrun strangers over their own wife and children?

You know exactly where you are in his priorities. Sounds like he can spend best Christmas alone in a bedsit with no family but all the Parkrun losers he wants.

Mixed feelings, it can be a bit frustrating as an adult if you are theoretically "on holiday", yet you can literally not do one single thing that you genuinely want to do

Has he got any other events coming up? Maybe he could trade a run for a night out?

Won't they have ripped everything open by 7.30 and then be busy breaking everything? Then be back by 10.45 when he can take over, keep an eye on them and another on lunch whilst you go and spend an hour on you?

By 9am will the kids not be up, have done presents and ready to crash for a nap? Id look to compromise and if there’s anything that would normally be done Christmas AM for dinner get him to do it the night before so you can enjoy time with the kids whilst he’s out?

Anyone who votes YABU will have accidentally clicked in the wrong button surely!

Depends on all that is planned for the day to be honest.

A day with just the 4 of you, 90 mins of "me time" is a great Christmas present to give. (My family always give me "a bit of peace and quiet" for Christmas... a couple of hours to read a book and wind down)

Leaving you preparing lunch for extended family whilst wrangling twin 2 year olds, not so much.

Why would she want to spend part of Christmas day away from family? That's the whole bloody point of it, isn't it?

He is being completely unreasonable. They are 3, he only has a few of these years left when they still believe and it is this magical. I’m surprised the friends with grown up children would even have thought he would go.

What would he say if you said you were going out on Christmas morning?

He definitely has his priorities wrong

He can get up and go for a run and be back well before sunrise. There’s your compromise..

I would be flexible and let gim go. What time do the kids get up on Xmas day? Most kids would already be up and bored of their Xmas presents by 9am.

90mins isn't that long, he could easily take a bath at 9am and be out of site for 90mins.

YANBU. A Christmas run is a fun family activity if everyone is into it and participating but it’s not on for him to fuck off for 90 minutes and leave you alone with two excited 3 year olds!

@madisonbridges

Won't they have ripped everything open by 7.30 and then be busy breaking everything? Then be back by 10.45 when he can take over, keep an eye on them and another on lunch whilst you go and spend an hour on you?

Yeah I thought this tbh...I don't think a short time out at 9.30am is heartless. Maybe if you don't like the timing, see if he can push it a bit later or only do an hour. I don't think kids will suffer while he's out for an hour and you will all spend the rest of the day together and enjoying Christmas fun and maybe a lovely family walk later in the day. I also personally think its good for children to see their dad doing something like this, make it a bit of tradition and maybe when they're 5 and older they might want to join him for a quick trot around the block. My cousins used to do this with their dad and I was jealous and would love to have a dad who went for Christmas day runs after morning presents in the lull before afternoon excitement.

I think 9 am is one of the lulls in the day when you have small children. They can play with presents, watch some TV, have a break between Santa and opening rest of gifts a bit later. I think it's good with kids to spread the gifts out throughout the day so they are not overwhelmed. The major busy bit of cooking won't be starting for a while once turkey is in oven. Fitting a short ish run in, is ok. It's DH's Christmas day too so I think you're being a bit mean. If you wanted to go for a long walk by yourself at a similarly 'dead' time, you could do that too.

Certainly unreasonable for him to want to be away from his family these are memories you will never get back and he should be there to treasure them his friends will think much more of him if he puts his children first.

To all those saying it's not that long etc. it's Christmas morning and will be midway through the morning by the time he's back then he'll need to shower etc. I'm sure Christmas dinner prep is well underway at this point so everyone's fine with OP having to do all of that by herself whilst watching very excitable 3 year old twins?!! Like the thread on here about "great fathers" the bar is beyond low. Imagine OP wanted to go out to do ANYTHING that wasn't focused on the twins/Christmas. I expect her husband would be flabbergasted. Ffs

@Haveyoubrushedyourteethtoday

He can get up and go for a run and be back well before sunrise. There’s your compromise..

No, with tots, first think is the time he's needed. Depending in how first thing dmgoes, 9am might be a good time for a run, but even so, it's not a good day to have commitments outside the house.

It’s making you be the bad guy and telling him he can’t that I find interesting. Why wasn’t his first reaction to his friends that he would rather be at home with his family?
Are there bigger issues at play?

Seems fair enough to me, assuming that the children-opening-presents bit is over. Presumably he will be there for the rest of the day and joining in.

As much as I can see his point in wanting to enjoy his own Xmas, his way.

He is not single or with grown DCs, he's now part of a team & Xmas is now a priority for both of your DC, so you are absolutely NBU

I think if it was a later time it may be ok but no not in the morning with all the excitement and food prep etc.