Confused by the ‘great fathers’

[Electricbug321]

AIBU to be confused and frustrated that describe their DP as a great/brilliant/fantastic father in their OP, but then describe behaviour that is anything but good parenting. At best the men in those posts are only doing the fun stuff or are ‘hands on’ but only around for a few minutes a day.

Is the bar really so low for men?

@WorraLiberty

I agree *@Gettingthereslowly2020*

It's nearly always "DP works very long hours, 6 days a week".

They can't see that they've given them the luxury of being able to work all these hours, because often it's bloody easier than doing an 8 hour shift and then dealing with kids, dinner, homework, after school clubs etc after work, like many women have to do because the bloke's working 'long hours'

Yep. And some men do long hours at work to delay coming home, so they don’t have to deal with kids’ bedtime, noise, mess etc. They openly admit this to each other.

Sometimes the bar is so low, what some women mean by “good dad” is he doesn’t withhold money, doesn’t come home drunk and doesn’t beat them up.

Just to lower the tone with celebrity gossip silliness, all the talk of men and birthdays reminded me of this Jake Gyllenhaal clip.
The first few seconds of which have gone viral since Taylor Swift’s ten minute version of all too well revealed he stood her up at her 21st birthday party:

At least he’s honest I suppose

Just read this on another thread, and it is exactly what confuses/infuriates me about the standards we apply to men:

I don't know how to answer this question myself. Sometimes it seems to me that he doesn't realise how his actions might be considered rude or inconsiderate. He has good qualities as well. He is an amazing father and our daughter sees him as her best friend.

You are meant to parent your child, not be their best mate.