To ask how those who financially struggle manage at Christmas

[Crystalcrazy]

I’m a single person living on my own with grown up children who now live with their partners. I work full time on a low wage with no chance of overtime or a pay rise, I’ve asked multiple times. I can’t take on a second job due to other commitments.

I’m really struggling financially, every morning the first thing I do is check my balance on my online banking app. I don’t drink, smoke, go out or spend any money on myself on clothes, treats etc. My heating doesn’t get turned on above 15 degrees celsius and on the cold nights I get into bed after work with a hot water bottle.

I only now buy Christmas gifts for my children and their partners but even that is now becoming difficult. For Christmas dinner I’ll be putting something in the slow cooker to last me a few days.

How do those of you with little money manage at such an expensive time of the year. It’s really getting me down

It’s too near the time now - but I always used to start trying to make extra money from September onwards
Selling stuff on eBay mainly -

So sorry OP.

Can you look for a better paid job?

What are the other commitments you referred to?

That sounds really tough OP. I would focus on spending time together rather than the presents side of things. Are you having Christmas Dinner with others or BY yourself?

By going into debt, by buying only token gifts (or making them), by saving throughout the year. All really tough options on a low wage.

I’m not sure Christmas is the issue here.

Is there a reason why you cannot apply for any other job? Perhaps you have?

Presumably your other commitments are to older relatives - rather than babysitting grandchildren or attending to pets?

I know it’s hard but you honestly need to try to find a way to change your situation. What’s holding you back?

Have you considered trying to upgrade your qualifications if that would improve your earning power? There’s a new board here for mature study and training:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mature_students

which might suggest some options to you.

If you’re already well-qualified but doing a job that doesn’t stretch you, what’s the reason for that?

I honestly do understand how hard it is to feel motivated to change things - but no one else is going to do it for you.

I would spend all year preparing for winter.

So always put the same amount on my meters every month, even through summer so I didn't have to find extra in winter.

Asda or Morriston Christmas savings club, things as you gdy extra at the end.

During the year I would look at maximising income wherever possible. Often meant moving Job for a little bit more. But worth it.

I dont have advice you could implement ghis short notice. Have you applied for the warm home discount/grant?

Where do you shop? Lots of supermarkets do loyalty points systems now. We shop in sainsburys and earned over £75 worth of nectar points in about 6 months which you can spend on gifts, food etc

Without knowing your balance of incoming to outgoings it's difficult to suggest what could be the problem.
But if your income is low you may be missing out on benefits you're entitled to.
If you're outgoings are high then obviously you'd need to think about reducing them.
If you need to be on benefits or if your regular outgoings can't be reduced then you just have to go with small presents and low key celebrations. Adults should be more than capable of managing present expectations. If you have little children to buy for maybe have a chat with their parents about what small gift the child would really like.

Oh ... and there's an app that a lot of mumsnet users swear by for tracking expenditure and reducing debt. Hopefully someone can come along with the name of it!

What are your other commitments that mean you can't get another job? If its childcare for your grandchildren, you're going to have to say enough and tell your kids to find their own childcare. Then you can get another job or a better one with more hours.

I am not in same situation but I just wanted to add that I think some families expectations around Christmas are unrealistic. We are a large family so have always had a £20 limit on gifts. Your family presumably know you do not have large amounts of cash to spare. If you are coming, get everyone to provide some of the food/wine/snacks/ crackers etc

I should add we also have family secret Santa so only but 1 X £20 gift

As a short term solution, go to a food bank. I see posts on fb all the time of local places to go for free food. No referrals or vouchers required. Do that for a while to make sure you're eating properly and saving a bit of cash at the same time.

My friend was a single parent and there was some scheme from the council which provided presents for the children.

I’d also take on a second job rather than live like that. Maybe in a bar.

Have you tried using Olio for free food?

We do a secret Santa so everyone buys one present. It means you get something a bit bigger but still saves money.

If you are still in the family home and kids moved out do you have space for a lodger?

I would stop buying gifts for the partners. They'll understand just do your children op.
Could you look for a new job with better hours/pay? Keep your current one but keep applying for others alongside until the right one comes up?

Do you have massive outgoings? Even on min wage its £1000+ a month.
Where's it all going?

@crystal1717

Do you have massive outgoings? Even on min wage its £1000+ a month. Where's it all going?

My sisters moving in to a 1 bedroom flat tomorrow, outside of a city etc - £600 a month. She viewed a 2 bedroom flat that was £795!

What’s your housing situation? Now that your children have moved out, could you downsize? It’s not Christmas that’s expensive per se, as you can save small amounts all year to cover presents etc - but if the issue is you can’t save anything all year that’s because your other costs are too high for your income. Housing is a big one - heating a larger house, maintenance etc.

Have you checked if you’re entitled to any benefits if your income is very low?

First if your income is that low make sure you get some benefits advice- though I appreciate single person with no kids get shockingly little.

Second see if you can get a food bank referral and/or go to a community fridge. The latter is for environmental purposes to get rid of food that would be thrown so anyone can go and many run several times a week.

Third I would sell anything I dont need for a short term solution.

Fourth i would look to change my job. You may, depending upon your qualification level, qualify for free certifications so speak to a local college. There are some courses which are distance learning or evening which might help you.

Fifth i would stop doing whatever extra commitments you have which prevent you from increasing income, if you can. If it is childcare your children will need to take their own responsibility for it as it isnt fair for you to be struggling. Or else they'll have to assist you more to make up for the losses by buying a weekly food shop or something which would still be a huge saving for them compared with childcare.

Sixth I would see if I could down scale my property. This may not be an option for you but if you own it is worth seeing if there is anything cheaper and if you rent have a look at other options. A friend if mine who was struggling for a bit decided to rent a room in a house rather than a flat to save some of her income until she was able to move back into a flat but with some savings behind her as the room was expensive but still cheaper than her previous flat and all bills were included.

In relation to Christmas more specifically the way you talk about your Christmas food being a slow cooker to last you makes it sound like you dont get invited elsewhere for Christmas dinner. If you dont mind me asking, is there any good reason why not? I'd be so upset if I had adult children and none of them invited me - if they're struggling themselves one extra seat shouldn't make masses of difference and any extra could be contributed to which would still be cheaper for you. My grandparent who is on their own comes for the entire Christmas week. I would be seriously questioning why I'm spending so much on presents and not being assisted more by my loved ones to be honest.

Appreciate others may be struggling too but any spare i had i would help my mum if she couldnt even heat her house. Do your children know the true situation? Could you confide in them? It sounds like you just need a bit of a breather to get your ducks in a row. When you're poor you have less ability to make yourself better off - cant buy as much food to maximise deals and freeze stuff to cut bill overall etc. If your children have some spare they might help you a bit to at least get yourself ahead so it's less of a continual grind living day to day. I once bought my friend a week food shop so she was at least a week ahead which didnt make a massive difference but at least meant she could have a week worth of food money spare. When my step daughter moved out I bought her the bits it can be hard on a budget to buy when you're restricted as it eats so much up - spices, stock, condiments etc - so she just had to get staples to make meals which was cheaper and could replace bits more easily as used rather than struggle each week. Is that possible? If not, a food bank or community fridge might have the same effect for you as just saving a little each week on food slowly starts to get you ahead if you still act as though you're having to spend the same and save the excess.

It takes a long time and it's a hard slog OP but dont feel bad if you cant afford Christmas gifts. Christmas should be about family and loving eachother not about gifts. Noone would want you struggling to give them gifts.

I know everyone comes on these threads and says "get a better paid job" and it's not that easy, but if I'd been in the same job without a pay rise for years, I would definitely be looking elsewhere!

What do you do? Presumably you have years of experience now, would there possibly be other jobs in your industry at a higher level, supervisory perhaps?

My Gran isn’t low on cash but she’s very frugal and one thing she has always done is the saver stamps from Morrisons. Every week from January onwards she buys £2 in savers stamps along with her food shop so by Christmas she’s got enough saved up to buy her Christmas food shop. My Mum used to squirrel a bit of cash away in a savings account every week when we were kids so she could afford Christmas.

Some people just get into a lot of debt or find other ways to make money like selling things on eBay.

@crystal1717

Do you have massive outgoings? Even on min wage its £1000+ a month. Where's it all going?

🤣 this made me laugh.

Op I'm single with a teen and I get it. I'm in a better paid job and clear around £1650 a month. Outgoings (mortgage,rent, council tax, water, gas&electric etc) are around £900 a month. I save £200 a month, this has to cover any emergencies (the car, an appliance breaks etc) birthdays and Christmas. The rest of the money goes on food, petrol, clothes (for dd) and the occasional treat. There is also those unplanned extras most months like the school asking for money or a work colleagues leaving do.

Life is expensive for single people, you have half the income and the same amount to pay out!

The only thing I'd say op is try and squirrel away some money for Christmas when you can and also pick up bits in the sales or supermarkets throughout the year.

Can you buy smaller/sharing gifts for children and partners? Or secret Santa? No children would want their parents to be struggling, surely they'll understand? That sounds really tough.