To ask how those who financially struggle manage at Christmas

[Crystalcrazy]

I’m a single person living on my own with grown up children who now live with their partners. I work full time on a low wage with no chance of overtime or a pay rise, I’ve asked multiple times. I can’t take on a second job due to other commitments.

I’m really struggling financially, every morning the first thing I do is check my balance on my online banking app. I don’t drink, smoke, go out or spend any money on myself on clothes, treats etc. My heating doesn’t get turned on above 15 degrees celsius and on the cold nights I get into bed after work with a hot water bottle.

I only now buy Christmas gifts for my children and their partners but even that is now becoming difficult. For Christmas dinner I’ll be putting something in the slow cooker to last me a few days.

How do those of you with little money manage at such an expensive time of the year. It’s really getting me down

OP, as already suggested older DC and their partners should be able to manage gift expectations. Socks and a nice beer/mini wine/tin of posh gin and or chocs should be enough. It's the thought that counts. This is probably what I have to look forward to when I'm your age as I'm also single. Your DC should be aware of your situation.

Have you thought about taking a few online courses to potentially help increases your earnings? Start a thread on here to ask about jobs that pay (a lot or a little) above min wage. Or could you take a job very local to you to cut full costs almost to nothing?

Hi OP that sounds hard. Couple of suggestions. Does your town have a food pantry? For a small membership fee you can get your groceries. Different than a food bank. No need for a referral and can get your food weekly. Also download the Olio app. Free supermarket food that’s going out of life. One of my friends is involved. She does a pick up from local supermarket couple times a week and then posts the stuff online. People then choose what they want abs pick it up. No cost. Saves waste.

I would cancel your dentist plan as others have said. Sorry you’re having such a hard time

Not on such a low income but I save monthly for Christmas. Could you put away £1 a week / £5 a month for Christmas. Yes it's not a lot, but it's better than not having any, it's £50/60 for food or a few presents.

Could you offer your time as a present. A night of babysitting, are you crafty? Make jams?

Do your children know your situation, as many grown children wouldn't want their parent to give a present if they can't afford it.

Please check if you're entitled to any benefits.the years we always struggled hardest was when DH was self employed and not earning much, I was out of work due to ill health, and neither of us thought to apply for any benefits. We would lose 2 weeks of his wages through the Christmas period and not have anything bug child benefit until 2/3 weeks into January.

What I would do in your position for next year,
Buy toiletries from boots so you get advantage card points to use on gifts by the end of the year. Lots of 3 for 2 gifts too.
Shop with tesco/ sainsburys for things where they might be cheapest (saves points that you can save until the end of the year to spend on shopping or exchange cupboard vouchers for gifts)
And I got into the habit of saving a small amount each month. Every penny will count by the end of the year.
Also, getting into the habit of buying an additional food item here or there, like ab extra tin of tomatoes, or an extra pack of chicken to throw in the freezer makes a difference when you're really on your arse.

First thing is definitely check if there are any benefits you'd be entitled to though. Looking back I realise now, each December we would've been entitled to something that couldve potentially fed us without having to pawn something from the house until the first pay packet came in in January.

Hoping next year's easier for you

Have you thought about taking a few online courses to potentially help increases your earnings? Start a thread on here to ask about jobs that pay (a lot or a little) above min wage.

Here is an entire MN board on study and retraining for people long past their teens and twenties. The only secure way for the OP to increase her earning potential for the next however many decades she has to work is to improve her level of qualifications. She is not condemned to scraping by on the lowest possible pay forever, but she would need to take even the tiniest step outside her (uncomfortable) comfort zone.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mature_students

Speaking to an adult careers advisor would be a good place to start. The OP might get advice on taking an access course or perhaps some vocational training. From what I understand there is funding to make these initial steps accessible.

OP I’m guessing you perhaps married young and were assured that you would never need qualifications as you would never have to fend for yourself? And now you do. And you feel cheated and defeated and, as you indicated, too proud to let your old friends know just what a struggle your life is now. Let alone your family.

But you need a hand out of the hole you’re in. Is there not one friend who might offer encouragement, going forward? If not, there are plenty of people you don’t yet know, who would cheer you on and be proud of you - just take the first step.

It’s just such a stark if weary contrast to the quality of those precious, ethereal moments of the past we never stop wishing to recreate. It is always in the small details it happens.

But in what world are we allowing ourselves to have our careers and lives wrecked raising the children of idiots, then jumping when that generation of idiots dehumanises us and scolds us to work harder for a capped slave pay.

What we have had to endure will have been worth it to reach a snapping point.

Some banks were offering £100 if you changed to their bank
Suggest have a look at money saving expert website