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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how those who financially struggle manage at Christmas

157 replies

Crystalcrazy · 17/12/2021 08:25

I’m a single person living on my own with grown up children who now live with their partners. I work full time on a low wage with no chance of overtime or a pay rise, I’ve asked multiple times. I can’t take on a second job due to other commitments.

I’m really struggling financially, every morning the first thing I do is check my balance on my online banking app. I don’t drink, smoke, go out or spend any money on myself on clothes, treats etc. My heating doesn’t get turned on above 15 degrees celsius and on the cold nights I get into bed after work with a hot water bottle.

I only now buy Christmas gifts for my children and their partners but even that is now becoming difficult. For Christmas dinner I’ll be putting something in the slow cooker to last me a few days.

How do those of you with little money manage at such an expensive time of the year. It’s really getting me down Sad

OP posts:
Flowers500 · 17/12/2021 11:08

Well the life insurance, dental plan (travel if you need Nhs Dentlal care) and phone contract can go, and pick between Netflix and tv licence. And you need to look for a new job. What is your mortgage term, are you getting the best offer, is there a possibility of extending the term? Have you tried speaking to adult social care about your relative to see if that burden could be shared, or see if there are any charities that could help a few times a week? Or would they have any money to afford a bit of extra help?

BarbaraofSeville · 17/12/2021 11:09

Definitely change the mobile and broadband contracts when you can. You can save so much money this way.

For the mobile, keep your existing phone and go sim only, it only needs to cost £5-10 pm.

For broadband, look for deals for new customers and also ask your existing provider for a discount to stay. I nearly halved the monthly charge with Virgin Media for doing this last time my contract was up.

Look at the Moneysaving Expert website, lots of tricks to cut costs and make a bit extra money, such as £100 for switching your bank account.

Flowers500 · 17/12/2021 11:09

Is your house a 1 bed? If no, then you need to either downsize or get lodgers

RoastedParnsip · 17/12/2021 11:09

Get rid of tv licence.
You have Netflix you don't need it. Just declare to them you don't need one and they'll leave you alone.
There's plenty of decent free apps if you have an android phone that will give you access to free shows even on a iPhone look for a app called telegram. Pretty much everything gets posted to there if you know where to look.
If your relative you care for claims ESA they should get the SPD that's to pay someone to come in and help them, they should be giving you something towards helping them.

notanothertakeaway · 17/12/2021 11:10

Sounds like an all year round struggle, OP, not just Christmas

Could you extend the term of the mortgage? This would increase the cost overall (as you'd be paying interest for longer), but would reduce the amount you pay each month

Or take in a lodger, if you have space

Flowers500 · 17/12/2021 11:11

There is money that can be cut, but honestly you need to look at raising money comjng in. There is a lot of work going that can be done from home so don’t restrict yourself to work in the local area. You have a car and can drive so a longer commute may be worth it in the short term if something is available somewhere in the region.

tangyandsalty · 17/12/2021 11:13

@Crystalcrazy

Unfortunately there are no NHS dentists in the town where I live.

I care for a relative after work and on an evening, they have no one else.

I have already decided next year I will look for a better paying job but I don’t live in or near a city, it’s a small town with notoriously low wages.

If you care for a relative after work and at weekends, why aren't you getting carers allowance? Surely you just fill the forms in and that makes it official? It's stopping you getting an extra job and impacting your finances.
mayblossominapril · 17/12/2021 11:18

Get rid of the life insurance and the dental plan. There might not be any nhs dentists in your town but they’ll be one nearby. At one point I travelled 2.5 hours to an nhs dentist. It was much cheaper than a dental plan.
Look for cheaper mobile phone, a sim only deal starts at £5 for 1gb of data, more data and unlimited calls, texts about £8 a month
Change broadband provider. Shouldn’t cost more than £25 a month
Ultimately you need to swap the older expensive car for a newer model but that may take some time

You need to join the £10 a day thread. Surveys are easy to do and you can easily get to £30 a month. Focus groups make more money and most are online. There’s good info on mse.

Malibuismysecrethome · 17/12/2021 11:23

Do you have a spare room and could take a lodger? It must be terribly difficult for you. Maybe you could do some shifts in a restaurant or some babysitting. What work do you do and do you have the prospect of a pension?

Malibuismysecrethome · 17/12/2021 11:25

I know people don’t like to take money from family but perhaps the family member could reimburse you for any expenses, ie petrol.

LittleMysSister · 17/12/2021 11:30

OP re dentists, it's not like the Drs, you don't need to go to one in the town where you live, you can register at any NHS dentist :)

BigYellowHat · 17/12/2021 11:32

I think you need to start charging your relative. If they’re getting benefits then that’s what they’re for, if they’re not then help them fill in the form and then you can charge. I also think the lodger idea is a good one. Tell your kids you simply can’t afford Christmas presents this year. I would never see my mum struggle just so she could buy me something.

itwasntaparty · 17/12/2021 11:33

You don't need life insurance.

Re the dentist I don't see the point of those plans, they only pay the nhs amount anyway and you still have to find the rest. I'm in z4 London and there are no nhs dentists taking patients, haven't been for years.

Your problem is the caring. Can you go to CAB if they still operate and get advice? Does the person you care for have an income?

Tillsforthrills · 17/12/2021 11:33

They get into debt.

LittleMysSister · 17/12/2021 11:34

As for the wider conversation...I think the best thing people can do is put a little bit of money away every month through the year.

I know it's so hard when you've not got a lot to spare and you'd rather just forget about Christmas once it's passed until it comes around again, but even putting £10 in a savings account each month from Jan-Nov will give you £110 to put towards gifts etc. Even £5 a month would help you out when the time comes.

I'd really try and do this if you can. I am going to encourage my DP to do this from Jan as he always really struggles around Christmas too.

2bazookas · 17/12/2021 11:38

@JaceLancs

It’s too near the time now - but I always used to start trying to make extra money from September onwards Selling stuff on eBay mainly -
Christmas doesn't have to be expensive.

Anyone can make cards and hand them out at work or round the neighbours; make paper decorations; find a twig and dress it. Play board games and party games, sing with family or friends. Recycle unwanted presents you received; give away books or stuff you have tired of,. buy presents at charity shops.

I've done all that and still do. I can also make a delicious meal out of the cheapest ingredients and set a pretty table.

girlmom21 · 17/12/2021 11:43

OP just to add, at Christmas Asda do lots of different vegetables for 20p a bag. You could have a 'proper' Christmas dinner for much cheaper than you think. If you want to, of course.

maxineputyourredshoeson · 17/12/2021 11:43

If you care for a relative after work and at weekends, why aren't you getting carers allowance? Surely you just fill the forms in and that makes it official? It's stopping you getting an extra job and impacting your finances

To claim carers allowance you have to earn less than £128pw.

www.gov.uk/carers-allowance/eligibility

caringcarer · 17/12/2021 11:46

Could you earn some extra money babysitting a couple of evenings each week? You would be in the warm then too, so be saving on your own heating. Have you claimed any benefits you are entitled to?

2bazookas · 17/12/2021 11:48

[quote maxineputyourredshoeson]If you care for a relative after work and at weekends, why aren't you getting carers allowance? Surely you just fill the forms in and that makes it official? It's stopping you getting an extra job and impacting your finances

To claim carers allowance you have to earn less than £128pw.

www.gov.uk/carers-allowance/eligibility[/quote]
But the cared-for person may be able to claim allowances to pay for for their personal care (by OP).

BarbaraofSeville · 17/12/2021 11:48

@girlmom21

OP just to add, at Christmas Asda do lots of different vegetables for 20p a bag. You could have a 'proper' Christmas dinner for much cheaper than you think. If you want to, of course.
That's a good idea, all the supermarkets do those. Veg, small chicken, packet stuffing mix and you've got a Christmas dinner for under a fiver, with plenty of leftovers to feed you in the following days.
forcedfun · 17/12/2021 11:52

But the cared-for person may be able to claim allowances to pay for for their personal care (by OP).

This is what you need to find out about Op

DeepaBeesKit · 17/12/2021 11:58

This will sound ruthless but by caring for your relative for free you are possibly allow the local council to pass up their obligations.

Does the relative have a low income? If so they may be eligible for council funded support.

If they actually have sufficient income or assets to fund care, they should be doing so rather than having you give up any chance at increasing your income to care for them for free.

In the nicest possible way, you can't afford this kindness.

Friendofdennis · 17/12/2021 11:59

The OP will not be able to claim Carers Allowance if she earns more than @£110 per week

DeepaBeesKit · 17/12/2021 12:00

Also be honest with your grown up children about your finances. They really shouldnt be expecting you to go without to provide gifts.