To ask how those who financially struggle manage at Christmas

[Crystalcrazy]

I’m a single person living on my own with grown up children who now live with their partners. I work full time on a low wage with no chance of overtime or a pay rise, I’ve asked multiple times. I can’t take on a second job due to other commitments.

I’m really struggling financially, every morning the first thing I do is check my balance on my online banking app. I don’t drink, smoke, go out or spend any money on myself on clothes, treats etc. My heating doesn’t get turned on above 15 degrees celsius and on the cold nights I get into bed after work with a hot water bottle.

I only now buy Christmas gifts for my children and their partners but even that is now becoming difficult. For Christmas dinner I’ll be putting something in the slow cooker to last me a few days.

How do those of you with little money manage at such an expensive time of the year. It’s really getting me down

OP, are you taking in all the things people are saying about action you could take to improve your life?

You have so much more scope than someone tied down with tiny children or a disabling condition, no transport, poor language skills, whatever.

Are you thinking about what you can do with your life?

I just get in more debt.

Are you other commitments essential? Can you give them up? I think the only thing you can do it looks for a better paid job.

OP can you downsize?

Do you need life insurance? Your single, your kids are grown up there is no one you need to “look after” once your gone.

My mum is in a very similar situation. I told her years ago not to get us presents, I also told her last year not to get the kids anything and I'd just put her name on a present I bought them. I absolutely do not want nor need my mum stressing about getting me a Xmas present I don't need.

@Muthalucka

Do you need life insurance? Your single, your kids are grown up there is no one you need to “look after” once your gone.

It isnt about when you are gone

It pays out when you are terminally ill

You should never end it. We have £100k cover for £5.62 a month- to get that now mid 50s is £400 a month (DH has had cancer)

@NotAnotherCrapHamper yours may be like that some companies do critical illness care separately to life insurance.

Buy all gifts from charity shops. Or make them. Chicken is fairly cheap, and a roast chicken with potatoes and sprouts makes a nice Christmas dinner - to make it special, cheer it up with some cranberry sauce (very easy to make yourself, btw, and if you bottle some and tie it with a ribbon, you've got another gift). Only shop at Lidl, its cheaper and they do great veg boxes for £1.50. I try to buy stuff for Christmas food that' different to my usual standbys, even if its not that fancy. That way, you feel as if you're having something special.

Sorry to hear this op. I’m in a similar situation, the thought of re-doing my cv and going to job interviews makes me sort of clam up. But I think if you’re going to change anything it’s going to be by taking the bull by the horns and give job hunting a good go. From what you’ve said, you really don’t have a choice, unless you want to live as you are forever. I admire you helping your relative, and I don’t know the situation but is there any way you could at least reduce the amount of time you give them in order to focus on yourself and your future more?

Is there scope to downsize or adjust the mortgage (although be careful as interest rates look like they may rise).
Have a look at the £10 a day threads on here .... might help with a few extra pounds.
You need a a budget is the app I was thinking of. There are threads on here about that too. Maybe abbreviated to YNAB.

Thank you for all the suggestions and kind words, I really do appreciate it.

Some of the answers at first seemed a little bit harsh but have made me think that I need to make some serious changes to my life starting with looking for a better paid job.

I just can’t carry on living like this until retirement, there has to be more to life.

Bear in mind that many people are responding because they either have been or are in a very similar situation - and therefore know that it’s easy to fall into a rut from where one can see no possibility of change.

It takes fresh eyes to see that a situation is not necessarily as fixed or hopeless as it feels to the person in the midst of it.

When family members were in the same situation as you we immediately cut down on the amount of adult gifts. So instead of me buying for 6 other people (for example) we started a secret Santa with a tight budget. So now we only buy one gift and the amount is set at £20 max.
When I really struggled I saved my Boots points all year and used those.

The other thing I did was hunt in charity shops or online for gifts, or give home made vouchers promising something meaningful (and affordable) to the recipient.

I loved it when my DH put all my music onto a digital player thingy.

My MIL loved it when we sorted out her photo albums.

FIL appreciated help with his garden.

We're planning to offer good friends with a new baby, some baby sitting vouchers from us. We'll sit so they can go out.

Hope you have a good Christmas OP.

[quote Muthalucka]@NotAnotherCrapHamper yours may be like that some companies do critical illness care separately to life insurance.[/quote]
We dont have critical care

One there is a terminal diagnosis the life assurance policy pays out when the life expectancy is less than 12 months or 6 months depending We have 7 and they have all been the same- so pretty standard I would say.

Why can't the person you're caring for pay for carers? They'd be means tested of course, but surely they're not allowing you to struggle on indefinitely in your middle years for their benefit!? They're happy for you to be doing that!?
Attendance allowance isn't means tested. Cant they apply for that and spend it? Many thousands of people have no one else.

Could you move in with the person you care for and rent out your house?

Have you got the best possible mortgage deal? I'm a "mortgage tart" who goes to whoever has the cheapest deal once the existing fixed deal comes to an end.
Are you on a water meter? Most people on a meter make a saving and the sewerage bill mirrors the supply bill.

@Jimjamjong

Could you move in with the person you care for and rent out your house?

The problem with this idea is that it negates the one huge advantage the OP currently has - nothing to tie her down. She could throw everything into her car and start again at the other end of the country right now; that’s much harder to do if you co-habit as you become inter-dependent.

The irony is that the quality of life of the person the OP cares for would probably also be improved if the OP moved for better pay, or spent some time studying / training for better prospects. In a year or 18 months she could be richer and happier, and better able to entertain and look after her relative.

@Crystalcrazy

I haven’t mentioned this to my children, family or friends. I feel embarrassed and am a very proud person. I’ve thought about food banks but worry someone would see me who I know. I’m fully aware this sounds ridiculous.

For those asking where my money is going, it’s swallowed up on bills and living, not on extras or luxuries.

This is the bit i'm struggling to understand OP. You spend next to nothing, not even on essentials, so what exactly is swallowing up the best part of £300 per week (assuming full time NMW job) for one adult? I'm not being harsh, but this should be enough to live on, and trying to identify why it isn't, and tackle that is more realistic than 'get a better job' which is not as easy as people seem to think.

Working 37.5 hours per week on minimum wage, take home pay per month is around £1200.

Direct debits for bills are around £1000 per month, that leaves around £200 per month for petrol, food, toiletries, cleaning products.

Sometimes I have repair bills and maintenance on my home or car, things break is just stop working.

Living costs are swallowing up the money.

OP do you have qualifications that might enable you to find a better paying job?

(I know I’ve mentioned qualifications several times already, and you haven’t chosen to respond on this subject. Obviously, you may have any number of letters after your name and not be using them - but it would be easier to make more targeted suggestions if you gave a little more info on this.)

How big is your property? Can you downsize? Remortgage?

Basically OP you don't earn enough to service your outgoings. Can you list them all out?

Your choices are to earn more or/and spend less.

You haven't said whether the person you look after claims attendance allowance?

@crystal1717

Do you have massive outgoings? Even on min wage its £1000+ a month. Where's it all going?

My son pays £950 a month for a one bed flat...

You need to downsize your property or get a lodger.